Looking for some advice from the season hobbist on getting emotional involved with a provider

[TDiesel92]

So I have been seeing this provider since last month. She took my breath away the first time I see her and the service she provided to me was all that I wanted. Since our first session, I've seen her a total of 5 other times. We exchanged numbers and we texted each other a few times a week. During our 2nd session, I kinda letting her know that she's really resemblence a girl that I wanted to date and when she decided to be done with this job, hit me up and see if it works out for us. She laughed at it but I told her I'm serious. She smiled and gave me a kiss and then we moved to other topics. Since that day, every time I had a session with her the activities get much better. I can feel more passion in the activities (I understand that this is probably just me imagining it or she just giving me a big IOP as she knows that I'm now her regular). However, with all that said I just cannot stop feeling the emotion I have for her every time I see her. She also give me small gifts at the end of our session

She is on vacation now and we still text each other about twice a week. I guess my question is should I continue go see her when she is back from vacation? I love the activities as she kinda spoiled the experience for me. Other providers just cannot match. I just need to get my emotion in check so if you have any advice or were in the same situation, please share

Edit: I have only been in this hobby for around 6 months

[milo2]

Wow the hobby world is dying on the vine , find a steady regular , till a steady stream of providers can organize a meeting place. Nothing wrong with having a favorite, but emotionally no way, I keep, sex workers at arms length, for good reason, and I been at it since the 1990’s , once burned always learned

[B.Wayne]

Show her how much of a man you are by keeping your composure. Keep the emotions in check. See her on a bad day and then the true test will be if you still have the same spark or if you get in your head and think if you did something wrong and start talking to her like she is your girlfriend. Most guys have been through that at one time or another. But keep it professional. You only see one side of her when you two are banging. You don’t see her when she is stressed or in a bad mood or angry. And she knows that as well.

[Pangolier]

I can tell you from past experience that getting personally involved with a SW is like playing with fire. Very high likelihood that at some point in the future something will go awry. Might be your fault, might be hers, but there will probably be SOME sort of conflict about some matter. No guarantee it will go sour, but why bet the odds against yourself? You know why most people lose in Vegas? Because the odds are always in favor of the house. There's a tiny handful of people that manage to win on a consistent basis, some of which were card counting at the Blackjack tables, a practice which is now forbidden by casinos though it is not criminally considered cheating. Why would you want to bet the odds that you will be that "lucky" 5% that it will work out with a SW?


Additionally keep in mind that most girls from this industry don't want to date or marry their clients. On top of that many of them are whacked out paranoid about their privacy and identities. Can you imagine the cover story you'd have to fabricate telling your families about how you met each other, just hoping they don't discover the truth?



Getting deeply involved with a woman in general is a complex enough process. A woman who is a SW magnifies that. You can do it if you want, but expect there to be some less than desirable complication down the road.


It might be slightly less risky it's a former SW who has "retired" and gotten out for good by multiple years, and there is 0% chance of her ever returning.

[GL page]

Don’t get emotionally involved. Also, while there is always a chance she is “crushing” on you, odds are she is not. You are now an annuity to her - that is good for both of you. She wants to keep you around - you’re reliable, she’s comfortable with you and you’re a regular pay day. So she plays a little game and screws with your head a little bit so that think about all her day wondering, “what will the next visit bring?!”

I remember going to some strip clubs in Vegas when I was much younger and I always thought, “this girl is really into me! She really really likes me. I’m different to her!” No. She was just a good stripper and knew what to say and do to get more money from me. This hobby is no different.

Spare yourself problems and don’t get emotionally tied.

[Vanilla Gorilla]

She obviously loves you. Man up and step up to the plate.You must marry her before its too late.

[2on1Lover]

C'mon man, if you really want to know how she feels about you, stop paying for her company. You will find out everything you need to know. Hope you get the answer you want.

[ahab11]

If you have 5K a month disposable income to give her then make her a Sugar Baby and see how that works.

When she has your money will she still make time for you or blow you off with BS excuses while she see's other customers?

If you do not have that kind of money you are out of your league and need to settle for an overweight Dental Assistant with 6 cats.

[Admiral Giggle]

Originally Posted by 2on1Lover

C'mon man, if you really want to know how she feels about you, stop paying for her company. You will find out everything you need to know. Hope you get the answer you want.

This

Don't pay, start to walk out the door. When she confronts about money you look shocked and exclaim that you thought we had something special.

You'll know at that point you're as special as everyone else.

[hunttolive]

Run Forrest run... Do not confuse good sex with feelings.

I have been hobbying on 3 continents for over 25yrs and have learned that no matter how much of a personal connection you make that providers are in it for the money and we are in it to bust a nut. Busting a nut releases all kinds of mood enhancing chemicals into the brain that blurs good decision making. Providers may have a good time and have a real orgasm but they also have an ability to separate pleasure from rational decision making. I have been friendly, not friends, with a few providers but that is all that it ever came to and only once started to develop a romantic notion.

I do know of a few isolated instances where it did work out for both parties but that is a very limited set of success stories. A buddy of mine actually pulled one out and they moved in together but the allure of money and hedonistic lifestyle pulled her away.

My two cents is to have fun, enjoy, but do not get emotionally connected. Remember that it takes 30min to get married and if you have a decent asset base a divorce is a minimum of $30k in attorneys fees even with a prenup.

My two cents.

[mtabsw]

Everyone in the hobby is damaged goods. One near-psycho wreck committing to another one is adding gasoline to a fire.

In the 20 years or so on ASPD and ECCIE I can't begin to count the train wrecks but do not recall any "happily ever after" stories.

I'm probably wasting time and electrons warning you, but at least I tried.

[dietsunkist]

DON'T
Nothing wrong with affection, but never forget that you are paying for her company.

[Cougarlicious]

Its just a Fantasy Not GFE material. At least I make it Very Clear before meet ups

[KittyLamour]

Well I have heard of couples that met in the hobby and fell in love and are still together. Don't fall for the cliché that all providers are damaged goods and train wrecks waiting to happen... even if they are damaged, sometimes when two damaged people find each other they create a bond that will never be broken.

My advice is to take it slow, don't get in over your head until you are sure your feelings are reciprocated. Don't rush things or push for a commitment prematurely. It will take time, but could be well worth it.

You know, I'm sure I'm not the only lady who dreams of somehow finding "Mr Right" who was strong enough to accept us despite being a provider and love us unconditionally. I know this is no fairy tale but it is possible for dreams to still come true.

You guys sound like a bunch of Karens. Don't listen to them. Listen to your heart.

[aim2pleez]

Originally Posted by Admiral Giggle

This

Don't pay, start to walk out the door. When she confronts about money you look shocked and exclaim that you thought we had something special.

You'll know at that point you're as special as everyone else.

Very good experiment...you will definitely know one way or the other and this will certainly solidify your decision.

Besides, let's say that you both fall one another and it's a honeymoon for the first month or so. The lack of trust on both sides would rear its ugly head much sooner than later. You have to go to the root of the problem. The problem is that you met one another in the "hobby". The discussions will be about you wanting to quit and/or you seeing other providers. And, that's a very basic scenario...I haven't even touched on the complicated issues that come with this shit show.

Use this vehicle what it is meant for...or buy you subscriptions to Tender or Match.com. This is definitely not the place for that nonsense.

My best bet is that she playing the game to keep you on the hook due to the fact that she sees you as steady cash flow.

Just my opinion...