Guys have you ever just wanted to quit I thi I do but it is hard

[James_bond 007]

I am ready to quit guys I have had my feel but it seems to be hard to do this. Do you guys have any ideas because I can't do this to myself anymore it seems to be like a drug you can't shake. All I know is I need to stop for good. I know I am talking to the wrong crowd on this but maybe some of you are in the same boat. I don't know I just need help

[guest043013-2]

Logan has written in the past about this. I understand, but have no words of wisdom for you.

[true_whatever]

Originally Posted by James_bond 007

...it seems to be like a drug you can't shake.

I'm in the same boat. My hobbying is currently out-of-control, on several levels.

I have no words of wisdom, just letting you know you're not alone.

Oh...and I don't want to stop.

[IMAPACKIN]

The phrase is sex addict. It's real, and you should get help if you believe it is that serious. Go rent "Autofocus" if you can find it, it's the story of Robert Crane of Hogan's Heroes and his fall due to this addiction.

[ironore]

I think alot more than you think are in your situation. I am guessing different approaches to quitting work for different people, but I think you have to preoccupy yourself with more positive things so you have another outlet for your time, eneergy, and money. Of course, there is the negative motivator of realizing what all you could lose if you don't quit as well. Good luck.

[Maverick972]

I feel you, i am in the same boat....but I dont have an orr.

[Guest082216-1]

Knowing why you really hobby is helpfull.

I have a specific void in my life I know and understand. I am working on a plan to fill that void. When I do, there will be no desire to hobby any more. Not easy but at least I am self-aware enough to know what is driving me to be in the hobby

[knotty man]

try reading "dont call it love" by patrick carnes, Ph.D.. dont know if itll help. but it does give you more understanding into what you are dealing with and why you are dealing with it. there is sooooo much more to sexual addiction than just wanting to get your rocks off. but hell, anyone dealing with it already knows that

[MRMR]

I have tried and tried.
Break away for awhile and back before I know it.
If you figure a way please share.
Good Luck.

[TheWanderer]

Set a goal to take some time off. Take a month or more off and just make up your mind to do other things. Try to do things that don't revolve around hot women or talking about hot women.
It's not going anywhere and will still be here just like before so you've lost nothing.
When or if you come back, maybe you'll have things in a different perspective. I took almost 10 years off and since I came back, It's completely different. I feel like I am able to better keep things under control. It's when you obsess about it that things spin out of control.
Obsession is a big word that can wrap around everything.

[slowmover]

www.sa.org

[James_bond 007]

This has really helped guys I need to take this step and get out of this. It is getting to be out of control thousands of dollars have gone to this and I need to take a stand against it. It is time for me to be free I don't want to be a slave to this addiction plus most of this money probably went to some pimp. I guess if you look at this from the outside it is just crazy. I think girls like safire sweet, Alyssa Nichole, julie cash etc are great but where does it end. I could have bought a lamoghini with all the money I have spent over these years. I don't know I am glad that I am not alone and I guess it has to start with me.

[TexTushHog]

The term "sex addict" and "sexual addiction" are somewhat controversial in that there is arguably no physical addition as there can be with some drugs. However, even those who criticize the term do agree that it can be a compulsive behavioral disorder that shares some of the common traits of addiction. But in either instance, I think that the key is to get help. I would suggest that you seek a referral from your primary physician to a psychiatrist. In all likelihood the psychiatrist will visit with you and either refer you to a good psychologist or treat you in conjunction with a psychologist or counselor. But if you're having difficulty quitting, I think professional help is the way to go. If you have insurance, it may be fully or partially covered. If not, you'll still come out way ahead paying out of your pocket compared to what you're spending on the hobby.

Here is a web site for an organization that list counselors for therapy in this field:

http://www.sash.net/

(Note that they apparently do embrace the addiction paradigm, if that makes a difference to you. There are five therapist in the Dallas area.)

You might also check out this link:

http://www.santecenter.com/about/sta...tml?staff_id=1

I know nothing about any of these organizations or professionals, but simply did a Google search. I don't endorse them as I don't know their reputations, but this might give you a place to start.

[Randall Creed]

I used to think my hobby activity peaked and dipped based on how much civvie action I was getting, but not really. I would see a provider and pass up civvies to do so at times. hobbying does make one lazy at times, but who the hell has time to chase an unsure thing when it's just as easy to make a call or send an email and get lucky.

I'll hobby as long as it is convenient to do it.

[txirishman]

Hate that I feel a level of expertise in this-but I guess sadly I do. And YET--here I am.

There are several area meetings DAILY--just like AA--where someone that feels they have lost control or are powerless to the control "sex" has on them--can meet. The meetings are anonymous--SAA=Sex Addicts Anonymous. The meetings are very casual and friendly with ZERO judgment or pressure. It's uncomfortable as hell BEING there-liken it to passing the next "john" at your ATF's incall in the hallway (to put it into context.)

IF you were an alcoholic-you could find an AA meeting almost any hour, any day. SAA meetings are a bit less available-but you could find a few daily in the metroplex. At the end of your first meeting-they'll ask if you want a "ONE DAY" chip. It's kind of a "moment of truth" that tests your commitment to it. Maybe after a few weeks you find yourself gravitating to a few guys because THEIR story resonates with you--and down the raod, you might be brave and ask one to sponsor you.

In an effort to save my marriage (plus I WANTED the help) I went to a week long counseling session in Hattiesburg MS-sponsored by Patrick Carnes and his group. It was a heartbreaking, insightful, and expensive weekend--but it wasn't until a few years later that I found what my "root issue" was. My marriage failed anyway (As I failed my marriage I suppose).

One of the foundations of SA--and the toughest--is setting your own boundaries. Face it-if you're a self admitted alcoholic, you join AA--and IF you have a drink, you've back slid and lost your sobriety. Not SO clear cut in SAA-as we are all sexual animals to a degree. So-sex with your wife or spouse may be alright-but looking at porn might breach your boundaries. By the same token-if you aren't involved in a sexual relationship, masturbating to internet porn might be fine-but calling chat lines to meet strangers for sex--not so much.

It's a tough moment when you have to be brutally insightful about where you are, what damage you're doing to yourself and others, what you'd rather see of yourself--and THEN it takes the strength and courage and hope to effect real change.

We're all works in progress my friends--we're all here due to some "lack" in another area-myself certainly included. There's help out there-but it takes courage and hope and intelligence and patience to accept and make the most of it.

PM if you have any questions you deem too personal for reply..