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rke324 · 04-13-2013, 07:18 AM

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day he had planned!

He put her on every ride in the park: the Mind Eraser, the Predator, the Viper, the Skycoaster, the Giant Slingshot, every thing there was. Then over to the Waterpark and Grizzly Run, Thunder Rapids and Shipwreck Falls. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a large chocolate shake.

Then it was off to the movies: the latest Disney animated film , a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant ate as in oral sex you dumbass!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong.

gaijin1969 · 04-13-2013, 07:35 AM

Ha!

Lexxxy · 04-13-2013, 07:58 AM

Lmfao love it!
Kind of on and off topic. Last night while Bartending this sweet regular guy was talking about missing his moms cooking and I said "Omfg I miss homemade Mac n cheese!" What does he do? Go home make me a box of Kraft Mac n cheese and comes back with it on China. It was way sweet and cute and nice but he missed the point haha. I was very gracious and took 3 beers off of his tab. I haven't had box Mac n cheese in years Lmfao I ate some to be nice since he put in effort and all haha. If it comes in a box or jar and takes less than an hour to make it isn't home made

Guest121613 · 04-13-2013, 08:58 AM

Operations definations at play lexxxy. LOL. To some guys, peatnut and jelly is their best culinary effort and so making kraft mac and cheese in their home is homemade. To term to make it from scratch, just triggers a memory of their last round of jock itch.

Lexxxy, I think it very sweet u accepted his gift, and very mature. That is something I did not learn till I had children, that if someone brings u something as a gift, it should always be accepted joyfully, (unless its bribe).

And to the OP, it is so fitting of the standard marriage in a comical way. All us married guys wished our wives would just tell us what they want, instead they want to make us guess, and if we guess right, they think we love them, we guess wrong, we must not love them. Very frustrating after time, though I have gotten better at over 20+ years.

gaijin1969 · 04-13-2013, 09:14 AM

Amen lfk.... the kids and I bought my wife a Super Nintendo years ago for Mother's Day and I still hear about it. Hey it was the kids choice! Lol

Lexxxy · 04-13-2013, 09:34 AM

Very true lfk !gaijin my mother is a lawn Nazi it HAS TO BE perfect straight lines with edged sidewalks and flower beds, she won't let anyone mow her lawn but her sooooo...my dad bought her a new riding lawn mower as an anniversary present....then....."um....jk. ...Hmmmmm... Your REAL PRESENT is taking you to the jewelry store to pick out what you want." After the look on her face that even us kids were like "oh shit!" Lmfao we still harass dad like crazy because we so knew the jewelry was a rebound even as kids Lmfao.

Guest091813 · 04-13-2013, 10:01 AM

awww...cute stories....i still play super nintendo..i use the wii to watch netficks and dance dance dance..

jackfengshui · 04-13-2013, 10:05 AM

It's a cute joke, except that even people with bad grammar rarely say, "I'd love to be ate again."

Guest091813 · 04-13-2013, 10:09 AM

jack...how bout..i got ate yesterday and hope i get ate again today...

offshoredrilling · 04-13-2013, 10:12 AM

me think nita likes to be ate

jackfengshui · 04-13-2013, 10:19 AM

At my age, I'd love to be 69 again. LOL

rke324 · 04-13-2013, 11:56 AM

Nita, I'd love to oblige you hun. :P
If only you weren't 1 1/2 hrs. away down the 90. ;(

gaijin1969 · 04-13-2013, 12:20 PM

Funny Lex & Nita! Jack you're over 70? If so your my hero today! :-)

I can't do those dancing games Nita..... like most white guys I need a few drinks to dance without being scored lol besides, I am still waiting for a Guitar Hero/Rock Bank ECCIE party ;-)

Guest091813 · 04-13-2013, 12:35 PM

jack...awww the ol 69..nice...you still got it for your age so your doin better than most!!

rke...getting to be that time when you can take out the moto and ride ride ride yourself on over!!

gaijin...i have to tilt a few back before i can dance...because what i think i look like and how i actually look dancing are 2 entirely diff things!!

Guest121613 · 04-13-2013, 02:52 PM

Great stories! I am a bit odd, in that I like to cook, and probably do the majority of the cooking at home, my wife does baking. One year in my stocking was a potato peeler, she said she looked around a long time to find one to fit my hand better. Ok, on the inside, I was pissed. LOL. (So this why woman get pissed when they get a vaccuum cleaner.)