wrong size boots..........

[DallasRain]

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!”

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.

The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”

[oldbaldfat]

Originally Posted by DallasRain

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about men with big feet. The cowboy grinned and said, “Sure is, little lady! Why don’t you come on out to the bunk house and let me prove it to you!”

The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill. Blushing, he said, “Well, thank ya Ma’am. I’m real flattered. Ain’t nobody ever paid me fer mah services before.

The woman replied, “Don’t be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit.”

FUNNY!!!

[naughtynatale]

Good one Dee

[LemMotlow]

Nice one!

[seyah55]

If I knew I would have his kind of luck, I would buy some new over sized boots.

[DallasRain]

share your jokes..lets keep this going!

[boxxer]

Old bull and young bull were standing on hill overlooking field full of young heifers. young bull said lets RUN down there and breed some of them. Old bull said no, lets walk down and breed them all!! I heard this along time ago, everyone else probably has to, but thought I would share it anyway,just in case.

[Sweet N Little]

If men wrote Dear Abby column ..
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing...your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

[ElHombre]

Originally Posted by Sweet N Little

If men wrote Dear Abby column ..
Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.
A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you, he can only settle for the next best thing...your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should. He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband always has an orgasm and then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.
A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

I for one, see nothing wrong with this article... It's brilliant in it's complexity, yet simple enough to follow and remember !!!!

[Sweet N Little]

LOL El Hombre!! But your a man! Of course you see nothing wrong with it!! LOL!!

[DallasRain]

lol---good ones!!!!!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Celestial Poker joke


Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on the same day. As they are approaching the gates of heaven, God tells them that there is only ONE spot left.

Knowing this, Pamela decides to seduce God by showing her bare breasts.

God looks at them and says, “Very nice.”

“Does that mean I”m in?” says Pamela.

God looks over to his side and sees the Queen of England douching in the corner.

He looks back at Pamela and says, “Sorry, a royal flush always beats a pair.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Funny Rude Joke 1
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Funny Rude Joke 2
Why can’t scientists find a cure for AIDS?
They can’t get the laboratory mice to arse fuck.
Funny Rude Joke 3
Why can’t women read maps?
Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.
Funny Rude Joke 4
Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!
Funny Rude Joke 5
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow blower coming

[Murf76]

Why is rush hour traffic like the 69 sexual postition?? Because in both cases,the asshole is always in front!!!

[DallasRain]

lol--good ones!

A man tells his wife that he's going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it's closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he's in this girl's apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.
"Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!" he exclaimed. "Quick give me some talcum powder!"

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she's furious. "Where the hell have you been!"

He says, "Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this blonde and I slept with her." "Let me see your hands!" she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

"Damn liar, you were out bowling again!"

[Murf76]

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator.It stops and a guy wearing a dark suit gets on.It is very obvious from the flakes on his shoulders,that this guy has a terrible case of dandruff.Two floors later,the elevator stops and the guy gets off.After the door closes,the brunette says,"Damn,somebody should give that guy some "Head and Shoulders"! The blonde says,"Just exactly how do you give shoulders???"

[boxxer]

Three Hillbillies sitting on front porch shoothin the breeze. 1st Hillbilly says" My wife sure is stupid... she bought an air conditioner" 2nd Hillbilly says" whys that stupid?"1st hillbily says "We aint got no electricity!" 2nd hillbilly says " that aint nothing, my wife is so stupid she bought one of those new fangled washing machines" 1st hillbilly says " why is that stupid" 2nd hillbilly says" We aint got no plumbing" 3rd hillbilly says " that aint nutin, my wife is dumber than both yer wives put together! I was going through her purse the other day looking for some chew, and I found 6 condoms in thar" 1st and 2nd hillbillys say" Well whats so dumb about that?" 3rd hillbilly says " SHE AINT GOT NO PECKER''