Ladies : Tell me what you think..

[crashkopf]

Ok.. So I am going to ask the ladies this question.

Well over 30 years ago I was in love with a great gal. She was brilliant, talented, loving, spiritual, artistic, but boring as hell in bed. I was young, dumb, full of cum, and wanted such a wide variety of sexual experiences, many of which I didnt know existed, or was ashamed to admit I longed for. Lets put it this way; I was ( and still kinda am, tho age has tempered my drive ) a horny motherfucker.

Long story short, I was caught dead to rights lying to her regarding another woman. No, it wasn't a fuck bust, but nonetheless a bald face lie which immediately ended the relationship.

I have deeply regretted that ever since. She didn't deserve that, and I should have never, ever, treated her that way. I was too afraid to tell her the Truth face to face, ashamed really. Additionally, I didn't really know myself- heck I was 21 - 22 years old. Upon reflection over these many years, I realize we were sexually incompatible ( I loved porn, she didn't, I loved fucking, she loved making love) but like I said, she didn't deserve the way I treated her ( no hitting or anything, only a bald face lie). I only include this to say I was thinking with my dick, and not with my head / heart.

I have alway inlcuded in my bucket list the desire to apologize for my boorish beahavior, to have some sort of closure, at least with my own burden.

With the advent of the internet and personal networking, I am now very close to being able to contact her, right up to her brother - in - law who indeed would have an immediate way to contact her. She is married with children. Happy.

The Question:

Do I ?

Thank you upfront for your honest, no holds barred, responses.

[Guest071613-2]

Absolutely. Not only will she feel good that you apologized, but you will feel much better for getting it off your heart. As a woman, it is going to be very satisfying to her that it's been bothering you all these years. Awwww, I want to give you a hug.

Do it without hesitation. And keep us posted as to how things went.

[hd]

I'll say I had a, not best friend but a very good friend, when he got caught being AWOL, his girlfriend and I dated, (we knew each other in high school) we ended up marrying and then 35yrs later he calls to say high and see how things are. He is married also but I'm sure just curious about how we are doing. Other than just being a little uncomfortable about his call, it was no big deal, but we have no desire to rekindle an old friendship. We've all moved on and my wife and I have our own life going on. I've had people I wish I could say I'm sorry for things I did, but hey, I'm not "Earl with my list". I'd say forget it and move on. It's all part of life's experiences.
Even though I'm not a female, just my 2 cents worth!

[neco71]

I think this is a really good question and you deserve a pat on the back for trying to take responsibility for your actions (no matter how long ago).

IMHO, it's hard to know how to encourage you to proceed without knowing the personalities involved, what exactly was said, etc, etc. (and, no, I'm not asking for that info).

I think hd hinted at this above but I would ask yourself, "Will this be helpful or hurtful to her at this stage" and then act accordingly. If you do this, you can have the peace of mind that you're acting with good motives and not just for selfish reasons.

Either way, best of luck and hope you do get the closure you seek.

Neco
P.S. You know, I think I'm going to start making fortune cookies or something....

[gregory_m2003]

Seems like a question for Dr. Phil

[pmdelites]

i say do it. whether you actually talk w/ her or not, write down [or type] what it is you want to say.

after you write it downlet it sit, then go back and read it and correct it so it really says what you want to tell her. you can tell her how you feel about what happened, or how sorry you are that it happened, or that you're not doing this to stir up bad feelings, etc. but just be comfortable w/ what you have to say.

then if and when you talk to her, politely just read it so you dont get sidetracked or stumble over your words. the worst that might happen is she just hangs up on you.

and if you dont talk w/ her, you've sent your energy out into the universe and maybe, must maybe she'll feel it.

my thought is if you dont take the time to apologize [whether or not you talk w/ her], the longer it may bug you.

take it easy, but take it.

[Lana Warren]

I say go for it! Believe me, she has never forgotten and she will be forever grateful that you apologized! A lesson to be learned by every man out there!

[tsrv4me]

I had a best friend ..Married many years .....Went to 35th. class reunion with his wife...she met an old boyfriend (that was a deadbeat in school and still was )..They started talking on the phone after and eventually got together ......She divorced my friend and took him for a bundle so the deadbeat would have a better life ..He was still living off of her the last I heard ...so it doesnt always end well .....good luck tho ...T

[Black Sedan]

That's so classic tsrv4me.

I was in a similar situation. The loser/deadbeat is her ex-boyfriend's roommate from law school! Rekindled their friendship with long phone calls (different cities) after she was laid-off and began making plans to hang out her shingle, while taking a break from day-to-day practice. The deadbeat had gone through bankruptcy, failure to pay student loans, years of not filing IRS, heavy drinking, etc, etc.

Except she failed miserably at setting things up so she'd ever get any of my important assets. Which is ironic, given her profession (and practice speciality LOL)... But she makes enough money to squeak by and support a household.

Some ladies are lifelong rescuers. It was interesting to learn about the psychology associated with it. Daddy issues, addiction, co-dependency, et. al.

[GabrielaSweetheart]

Go for it! you have nothing to lose.

[lisa.lisa0302]

I say do it......

She will appreciate it, and plus it feels good getting tough things that are hard to say off your chest. You will feel so much better.

Good luck

Lisa

[Torito]

GabrielaSweetheart

Do not bump threads over 30 days old. This one is almost 5 months.

Torito