Has the hobby that I once knew and loved all but disappeared?

[hotlips_houlihan]

Change is a strange thing to witness. Actually being in the bubble of change makes for an easier transition. Leaving that bubble and then returning is quite different, a bit shocking to be a little more accurate. I moved from Dallas and left the hobby for the most part. I dabbled here and there, but nothing regular. I went back to the real world, with a real job, a real boyfriend, and real life problems. I come back for a visit and wham! Things in Dallas are different. Everything is different.

I thought the amount of Dallas traffic was bad when I left. I now wish for that traffic back. I thought the construction was insane. I want to go back to that insanity level. Back then a few bad apples had infiltrated the hobby now it seems they run the hobby.

I remember, from my own experience, that saying ‘fuck you’ to somebody awarded you a small vacation. Disrespect and name-calling seem to be acceptable now. Discretion used to be what was expected. Now one’s business is all over Twitter and real life occupations are listed on profiles. Many of those I knew in the hobby forefront are gone now…or just sitting back quietly. There used to be a sisterhood and a brotherhood amongst people. Now it is very much to each their own. Ladies who offered BBFS were on some super secret list being passed around by the gentlemen. Now it is being openly advertised as if it were no big deal. Screening was a requirement and a guy was not getting around it. Now it seems to be no big deal to have no references. And do not get me started on LE activity. WTF?

One person’s progression is another person’s regression. Sort of like that whole trash/treasure thing. To me, the hobby has regressed much to the same level that reality TV has completely ruined my watching pleasure. The hobby as I knew it is no more.

“Then” was not that long ago. What has happened? It used to mean something….the intimacy I mean. Now it’s all about completing as many acronyms as possible in as short as time as possible for as little money. Has the hobby changed that much or have I? One cannot live in the past. But there is nothing wrong with wanting “then” back…….

Meg

[TexasCowboy]

Always ask yourself what sets you apart from other women that a man can spend time with...

[hotlips_houlihan]

Originally Posted by TexasCowboy

Always ask yourself what sets you apart from other women that a man can spend time with...

Totally missed the point lol

[Halfbad]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

“Then” was not that long ago. What has happened? It used to mean something….the intimacy I mean. Now it’s all about completing as many acronyms as possible in as short as time as possible for as little money. Has the hobby changed that much or have I? One cannot live in the past. But there is nothing wrong with wanting “then” back…….

Meg

So right, but, there are still some nice folks around, most are a bit more circumspect about what and when they post though.

[matchingmole]

The old aspd days were great times...the internet was still relatively new and there was more respect for others opinions .Pimps, greed and general dishonesty are ruining what used to be fun.

[TexTushHog]

I think the culture of Internet communities just change faster than the real world changes. Not sure why, but I've seen it happen in several formats.

Likewise, I think you tend to notice negative changes more readily the older you get. You have experience, wisdom -- something different -- inside you that is less tolerant of bullshit. Change for the sake of change looses it's novelty.

[TinMan]

The board is adapting to the hobby around it. I'm glad it's being more open about certain subject matters, rather than ignoring them. Human trafficking, for one. If we shine a light on it, then maybe some of these young women will learn they don't have to rely on a pimp for anything.

That's something we didn't talk much about in the old days. Maybe they really were "the good ole days". Or maybe we were sweeping things under the rug. I really don't know.

It is interesting to hear your perspective, though, having been away awhile (welcome back, btw!). Those of us still on the front lines are just trying to cope with the situation as we find it, for better or worse.

[demsrsb]

Speaking for myself, I haven't changed in the 5 years since I enjoyed your company in the Colony. I always liked your spirit and funny side in chat, and your thoughtful and insightful posts and threads.

[doug_dfw]

HH glad to see you back. Our culture has changed dramatically. You feel it the same way I do; not to mention many on this Board. Not the same dignity, patriotism, civility. frankness, caring- it's Me Me Me- remember that song?? That said- there are still some that practise all those attributes we expect on this Board, P411, Ter. It is just harder to figure out who- more trial and error. BUT it's there !!

[SweetMelody]

Hi Hotlips.
Welcome back, if only for a visit. The good guys are still around but understandably don't participate in the "junk" that goes on in the forums. They have, for the most part, been passed to a lower class. I too long for the days when good manners and discretion were commonplace. But that's in all areas these days, not just the hobby world. Young men, in particular, are not taught that ladies should be revered. And girls are not taught to be ladies, or that a foul mouth is not at all attractive, unless in the bedroom. As for the hobby world, I still feel a sense of sisterhood. Rarely have I requested a reference and not gotten a response in a timely manner. I've seen some comments on some of the boards that I thought were shamelessly lacking in tact, but maybe that's just a sign that I'm getting old. I never thought I'd utter the phrase "these kids today".

[Blacksheep07]

Instant access and information usually means we don't, as a whole, spend as much time contemplating our words and actions as carefully as we sometimes should. Written texts and posts can also come off completely wrong as well, since so much of personal communication comes from what's not being said.

That being said, what you mention isn't necessarily endemic of this hobby but society as a whole. I'm generally a sit in silence and watch sort of person on the board simply because I don't necessarily have the propensity for drama most people seem to. I just thought your post was well put though and thought to give you kudos for putting it out there. I usually chat up providers I'm with and share 'war' stories from my profession (because I see and experience some crazy shit) and they often share some of theirs with me. Bedroom talk and generalizations mostly, but I'm always rather amazed at how certain people act and the shit they try and pull on some of y'all. From the incessant texting about all manner of things, to the overt pushiness of some guys, to even the extortive behavior some users have threatened them with over posting a bad review or tossing their name in the mud.

I, for one, appreciate all the providers I've been with immensely, but I tend to be pretty picky about who I play with; I tend to do a ton of research beforehand and make sure that the session will go as smoothly as I am able to make it. I don't know about 'revering' a provider is the proper gerund I'd use, but respecting the person you're meeting up with, for whatever reason is certainly called for. Unfortunately, as our culture becomes more focused on objectification of women (and men) common decency gets quickly trod on in the name of conquest.

[Guest092216]

^^^^^ Well. Said.

[FunInDFW]

Being into the hobby less than two months, it's not what I thought it was going to be. Simply, the lack of respect and the vitriol that stems from it has actually shocked me. I'm all for a good jab that a sharp tongue (fingers, in this case) can provide; but the extent to which things are taken and the lack of civility when it comes to discrepancies is more than disappointing. Or maybe it's just their prevalence. That said, I'm not so naive to think that everything would always be sunshine and roses as this is the internet after all, and the perception of power that anonymity can provide is clearly too much for many; but I still expected there to be more respect between sexes and parties.

edit: When I think of escorts, I think of a higher standard of person on either side of the equation. It often isn't the case, I'm finding.

[Glenn Quagmire]

Eccie is not the hobby. However, general message board behavior on Texas' most popular board has changed over the years and the staff has allowed it.

Welcome to Eccie-mart!

[DarkeyKong]

Originally Posted by hotlips_houlihan

Totally missed the point lol

Don't worry, you're not the first one!