Solo fantasy vs Reality fantasy
This subject has probably been broached here many times. But I'm so torn--and frustrated--that I feel compelled to get some feedback from either gender.
I don't mean to be crass, but when I say solo fantasy, my definition is masturbation by oneself with only one's own naughty thoughts to get the rocket to blast off. Reality fantasy means there is an accomplice aiding and abetting til the end.
I entered the hobby with alot of hesitation because I have a you know who at home. But the fantasies I have just aren't something she is interested in. It's just not her, just like a woman could probably ask me to be a certain way and it's just not me. I respect that. But, that's why I entered the hobby: for fantasy exploration and fulfillment. Not because I wanted variety in my life. In a perfect world, I'd get it in mi casa, but this is a far from perfect world.
With the exception of one intelligent, thoughtful young lady in Austin, there hasn't been any satisfaction for me. And Austin is just too damn inconvenient for me. Another lady I saw, with whom I shared some of my fantasies in a post coital state apparently either misunderstood them or was so turned off by them that she refuses to see me, even though she gave me an "OK" on another review board. Trust me, my fantasies, desires, needs aren't vile or deviant--just not vanilla.
But I digress. As a man who wants a connection with another human being in this realm, am I better off just sticking to the solo fantasy world where my head can go exactly where it wants and needs to go, but feel like something is missing from the experience? I'm not looking for another SO or FB. But I am old enough to be real about who I am, and there is a kind of intimacy that is lacking in my own life because I can't share this other part me with you know who. I find that to be an empty feeling. I want my whole self to be fulfilled, physically and spiritually. I'd like to be able to share it with someone, even if only for an hour or two here and there. No strings, but for those hours, intimate friends. Is that even possible? Should I just stick to the solo act? LOL.
I don't know. This is obviously a semi-rant from a frustrated gent who is getting older without being able to experience that other side. Probably asinine of me to post this here, but WTF, right?
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