The elusive "E" in GFE

[SofaKingFun]

Sometimes something happens or someone does something that causes you to change your way of thinking. Recently, a monger friend from Houston and I were talking, as we frequently do, and our conversation lead to a subject which is seemingly being used more frequently - and more importantly, casually- in the various provider advertisements.

So we began discussing the ambiguous subject of the Girlfriend Experience (GFE) and what "GFE" meant to us. The conversation went from the various BCD activities to the TCB aspects and so on. It's too broad of a subject, so I'll try and keep it short and get to the point other than to say that we agreed that there are different levels of GFE and that frequently, those which claim to be GFE, don't necessarily live up to that claim. Sure, some of the factors may be met, but the "E" relates to the overall experience and that's where the claims fall short.

I realize that the ladies see all different types of men and that they're selling the the GFE illusion. I get that. I also understand that having to put on the GFE face each and every time they open the door is difficult- so certainly, it takes a special kind of person to successfully and consistently live-up to the GFE billing. There are off-days, etc. etc.

One (of the many) thing(s) which was inadvertently overlooked was something that, in retrospect, has a profound effect on the overall GFE (in my eyes anyway). This overlooked aspect was surprisingly and unknowingly brought to my attention the other day by a visiting provider who just recently jumped into the SA hobby sandbox. (This is not an ad and her identity will remain anonymous. No pms). She and I had met during a previous visit and had just an outstanding time and yes, imnho, she met all of the GFE criteria. (excelled in several areas) We had a couple of brief phone conversations and ping-ponged a few casual pms since, so I guess that we've developed somewhat of a more comfortable, professional kinship. Although I was anxious to see her again, I also understood that she leads an extraordinarily busy life- with providing as well as other personal/professional commitments-this ain't her only gig- so I didn't really press her all that hard for another meeting.
(kicks self repeatedly)

Fast forward to week last. It just so happened that the planets were in alignment or whatever, that she popped back into town and the much anticipated re-visit came to fruition. Without going into detail about the encounter, (other than to say that it exceeded any/all expectations), what hit me like a ton of bricks was this overlooked aspect of the GFE mentioned above. And that is simply this: the personal touch. To me, this is one of the often overlooked aspects that greatly sets the various self-proclaimed GFE's apart from one another. It differentiates them and it usually doesn't necessarily take all that much effort yet the dividends can be huge.

In fact, in the instance above, this woman extended a gesture which was so thoughtful and considerate that it really touched me- dare I say, on a personal level. The more that I thought about it in the days following, the more impressed I became with her and her kind gesture. Who knows, maybe it wasn't that big of a deal to her? maybe she did it without really giving it that much thought?? maybe it's just in her nature??? who knows..????

Whatever it was, it caught me off-guard and impressed me -Hella' Lot. She took the time out of her uber-busy day and took some things from our casual conversations and incorporated it into something personal and tailored just for me. Suffice it to say that it was totally unexpected, yet truly appreciated. It was also refreshing because it made me feel that I wasn't just some other random hobbyist, an Uncle Fester or something.

I guess what I'm saying is that sometimes it's the little things, a personal touch, that causes the GFE bar to raise. In this instance all it took was some thought and some consideration for her to immediately shoot up to the Platinum Level of GFE. The bar has definitely been raised.

So to the wonderful and amazing women who offer the true and genuine GFE, I offer my sincere appreciation and thanks.

I'm not sure what the purpose of this diatribe is, other than to ask;
Besides the obvious, what else factors into the "E", in your mind?

[Fast Gunn]

SofaKingFun, that is all very interesting, but I have no earthly idea of what it was she did that hit you like a "ton of bricks" and I doubt anyone else here does either.

You left it so intentionally vague that I doubt anyone else here can really gauge what it was that raised the GFE bar for you.

I have found by my own scientific experimentation that the value of a kind gesture is often measured more by the disposition of the person receiving it than by the substance of the gesture itself.

[Bull149]

Outstanding analysis even with the extremely vague refrence to the event.

IMHO the fact is that what she did for or to you may turn others off. The key, as I understand it is that she picked up on something from a previous session and it was the thoughtfulness that caused you to flip. With that I totally agree. In the many experiences I've had of the years there has been only three who were able to pull that of in the right way. Just goes to show that for each of us ommv (our milage may vary) as receptors not just in the BCD details.

[Mature Companion]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

SofaKingFun, that is all very interesting, but I have no earthly idea of what it was she did that hit you like a "ton of bricks" and I doubt anyone else here does either.

You left it so intentionally vague that I doubt anyone else here can really gauge what it was that raised the GFE bar for you.

This is a re-post of an exact *word for word* post he made on aspd *SA forum* back in mid 09' about a *then* new provider.
However, This time. He leaves her name out. Not sure why?
Many of us who read this very post on aspd already *know* of the provider he speaks of. Just think of a double a battery and you'll know whom he tributes this re-post to.

[RebeccaFair]

WM, no offense meant, but I don't find anything wrong with posting the same thing on several boards...I have personally done so with jokes especially. There are different audiences on each board... although some of the same personages do visit multiple ones. As I was a member on ASPD also, I enjoyed reading alot of the posts on there. However, I missed this one. No need to pick on anyone...

SKF, as I strive to give just such an experience, I appreciate when someone is touched by a similar effort by a fellow sister. It would have been nice if whatever was done was specified...lol.

Hugs and kisses to all...happy hobbying.

[Kit-4-Kat]

If I recall correctly, she, the unnamed provider, held his hand. That's considered very intimate to some although something I do w/ people who are friends & not just lovers. As there was a recent discussion about this action amongst some ladies, it's good to have some male pov to consider.

[j_mack4u]

I'm so naive I thought GFE was good for everything! I'm still trying to figure out what all the abbreviations stand for, wish they had a list somewhere.

[j_mack4u]

BTW ladies, TY for all you do!

[SofaKingFun]

Yes, Wicked MILF, you're correct. I mistakenly posted it here instead of The Time Capsule forum. My bad. Mods, if you can please move it. Thanks

And it IS a word for word nothing changed nor omitted.

[johnnybax]

Originally Posted by j_mack4u

I'm so naive I thought GFE was good for everything! I'm still trying to figure out what all the abbreviations stand for, wish they had a list somewhere.

Anytime you see an acronym you don't understand, do this: Go to google and type: urban dico [acronym]

your search results will have your answer in the first or second spot

[Victoria of Houston]

Originally Posted by Fast Gunn

SofaKingFun, that is all very interesting, but I have no earthly idea of what it was she did that hit you like a "ton of bricks" and I doubt anyone else here does either.

You left it so intentionally vague that I doubt anyone else here can really gauge what it was that raised the GFE bar for you.

I think he just meant that she gave their time together a more "personal touch", perhaps doing a certain act he had specifically mentioned to her that he really liked.

Either way, it is a nice experience in this "hobby" when you do get to spend the time with someone that you really feel you have a connection with, even if it is just for that hour or two.

[Judge Smails]

I sort of get it, even without specifics. There is always a thread running somewhere around the definition of GFE. It sometimes involves the standard list of acronyms with debate about what is/ is not included.

For me, its just a feeling, not easy to describe, but always involves easy talk, laughing, some common interests you can immediately talk about ( first time) and build on for subsequent sessions, a sense of connection.

The BCD stuff is usually good to very good ( notice I didn't say necessarily great, best ever, PSE, one of a kind)

Its interesting to then see how many sessions can still spark this connection, before you run out of jokes/ things in common or to talk about, or she tires of hearing it all.

[npita]

When I was hobbying, I avoided the pitfall of expecting GFE to mean more than bcd activities. Although my personal expectations for a provider I would have wanted to see regularly were more than bcd activities, the term GFE would be useless if it did not have a concrete, meaningful definition. It's probably best to just let GFE refer to a set of minimum bcd activities and leave the intangibles to individual preferences. That at least allows one to write a review without listing specific acts. Most providers I've known or talked to seem to dislike having explicit details mentioned, but do not seem to mind the term GFE, so it's useful if it conveys something meaningful that others may use to make decisions.

[j_mack4u]

Thanks Johnny, helpful info!

[Chica Chaser]

When you think about it, GFE is something that a lady IS...NOT something she DOES. Its all in the attitude.

If she just goes through he motions of the various GFE activities without any passion or commitment to the level of service, then its not a GFE(xperience).