Paranoid Newbie Questions

[BasicGuy]

Forgive if these are already answered. I did some searching but decided to put all my questions in one space.

1. Incall or outcall? What is the safest? I will only hobby when I'm on business trips and I figure getting my own hotel room while I am in town would be safest since i pick the place, but is that always true?

2. If a provider doesnt mention screening requirements in her showcase or ad, how can i tell if she is newbie friendly? Is it bad form to text or PM?

3. I realize nothing about this hobby will be 100% safe, but being married and drug/disease free with a wife who is the same, I cant bring home HPV or anything else. Am i going to piss off a provider if i insist on a cover and no fluid exchange?

4. On the screening process, if i find a provider who wants employment information, is that safe?

5. If i am this paranoid, should i just stick to strip clubs and deal with the very limited, boring sex life I've had for the past 20+ years?

Thanks for the input!

[Crzytxn]

I don't know what you're looking for exactly.... but maybe I can help.
I prefer incall.... going to a lady. Do your research on the ladies you see. Figure out the ones that are safe, and Newbie Friendly. It is never bad form to ask a question....- if it's not provided for you. And as far as activities.... I would only do whatever you are comfortable with. A few ladies participate in bareback activities. Most do not....or don't openly advertise it. Personally I think it's unsafe, even it the civvie world. But that's up to you.
Last thing I will tell you.... desperation sometimes makes us stupid. Try and always think with the head on your shoulders.......not in your pants. And if that little voice tells you to walk......walk. Lastly, there is a service many folks use for screening, called Preferred 411. Many ladies and hobbiests call it a great resource. It has a membership fee...and strict screening requirements. But once you become a member...and get a few oks from different ladies. You can see any of the top tier ladies you choose and can afford.
As for real world information...... This site and this hobby are about remaining anonymous. If you have a wife, and a high profile career. I wouldn't provide my real name and employment information.
Again P411

Crzy

[Rrichard]

I am also married for 20 + years. I have hobbied for about 5 years now. There are a lot of great Dallas providers. I don't mean just great looks either, they are very nice and friendly. Here is my advice. Get a cheap hobby phone from Walmart. Read reviews of providers. That will give you a good idea of what to expect. The vast majority of girls want you to wear protection so you should've safe with the wife. I also get tested and have never had an STD. All my visits have been at the providers location and I have never had an issue. Make sure you are clean and have good breath when you go. Be respectful to the girls and you will have a good time.

[TheRealJohnnyRingo]

There's hundreds of ways you can get caught doing this shit and you ain't smart enough,nor is anybody here to think of half of them. You and only you can determine your risk tolerance. Start with this thought;the more nervous you are the greater the chances you're going to experience a self inflicted wound. Also consider this;this shit's illegal and would probably be much harder to explain than a speeding ticket. And finally;ask yourself this question. What in your life do you cherish that getting caught doing this shit would cause you to lose?

You asked a few questions and in them you already had the answer.That's my opinion .

[mrredcat43]

OP, nothing wrong with being paranoid about it all. I'm an out of towner who visits frequently, when in dfw I try for outcall, easier for me.

Any provider who gives you a hard time regarding a cover, take it as a red flag and go see somebody else.

Either get a burner phone, or download an internet line app to your phone, BUT DELETE EVERYTHING AFTER YOU SEE A PROVIDER!!!! I can not stress that enough.

Honestly, it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Worst case scenario, try to get a stripper to come to your hotel room, good luck.

[London-James]

Hello there! I have some time before dinner so I figured I'd give you some perspective from the provider side of things. If you do not mind! Remember all of this is relative to each individual. We are all experts in our experiences only.

1. Incall or outcall? What is the safest? I will only hobby when I'm on business trips and I figure getting my own hotel room while I am in town would be safest since i pick the place, but is that always true?

Outcall is great but recognize that you are picking the place. Some providers have no issue with where you stay, others will only do outcalls to upscale hotels. The benefit of outcall is that we come to you and you don't have to worry about the commute. The negative is that we come to you and if someone should see something it could be awkward. Also, most providers charge an outcall fee. Incall can be rather private and depending on the location, quite convenient. As a provider, I really enjoy incall because it's a place I am comfortable in and is stocked with everything possible.

2. If a provider doesnt mention screening requirements in her showcase or ad, how can i tell if she is newbie friendly? Is it bad form to text or PM?

Research the provider as much as possible: showcase, advert, and website if she has one. If her screening requirements are not listed, then yes of course - you need to contact her using her preferred method.

3. I realize nothing about this hobby will be 100% safe, but being married and drug/disease free with a wife who is the same, I cant bring home HPV or anything else. Am i going to piss off a provider if i insist on a cover and no fluid exchange?

The majority of us will INSIST on using protection. Whether it is a condom or a female condom is up to the provider.

4. On the screening process, if i find a provider who wants employment information, is that safe?

Again, research the provider - we are all different. You should be more worried if she doesn't have a screening process. In my instance, if you do not have companion references or access to a verification site, I will request employment verification. It is simple: name of employer, your position, a general phone number I can call and then they can transfer me to you (excuse: "Hello1 I'm calling for a Mr. (insert name) to schedule his consultation appointment with our office." or whatever excuse you give me), and a LinkedIn URL if you have it. This is all to verify that you actually work there, you are who you say you are, etc.

5. If i am this paranoid, should i just stick to strip clubs and deal with the very limited, boring sex life I've had for the past 20+ years?

We are all paranoid to an extent. I celebrate my provider anniversary in the late summer/early fall and I still get nervous. It's part of the process. What you need to do is trust your instincts and do your research.

I hope this helps! Good luck and have fun!

LJ, xox

[pyramider]

#5 is the way the OP should go.


Do your research. All of your hobby questions can be answered by a simple Search.

[Analeese]

Join p411...it will mAke this process so much easier for you....you can still use eccie to read provider ads, showcases and reviews to make an educated decision but you'll find p411 to be easy and safer.

Don't just see any provider...stick to reputable well known well reviewed ladies..this will help limit certain risks for yourself and also ensure your experiences are better..

[OneStarLuck07]

On your point #5, I am one of the shyest and paranoid people you could possibly meet in real life and yet, some how I discovered the stones to begin hobbying. I almost chickened out several times on the way to my first visit, turning around a couple of times, but some how still went through with it, and now I am hooked. So if I can do this, anyone can. Sure, I get still ft super antsy when I meet someone new, but I battle through it. Just stick with providers with excellent reputations.

And of course, research, research, research. I lurked in the boards for months before I created a handle and it was still a couple of months before I took the plunge.

Good luck! I'm sure you will make the right decision for you.

[Sir Lancehernot]

Originally Posted by BasicGuy

1. Incall or outcall? What is the safest? I will only hobby when I'm on business trips and I figure getting my own hotel room while I am in town would be safest since i pick the place, but is that always true?

If your only concern is safety, outcall to your hotel is the safest. Whoever controls the turf where the meeting will be held has the upper hand -- if it's at her incall, you could be faced with a pimp, an angry husband or boyfriend, a disgruntled roommate, and lots more. You might feel compelled to go through with a transaction that's against your better judgment because 1) you're already there and 2) thinking with the little head. Those risks are mitigated if the meeting occurs in your hotel room.

Most guys will advise against outcalls to your house.

2. If a provider doesnt mention screening requirements in her showcase or ad, how can i tell if she is newbie friendly? Is it bad form to text or PM?

Depending on your locale, this may not work as well, but, locally, if you find an ECCIE o P411 girl who also advertises on BP, chances are that her screening requirements will not be as stringent if you call and tell her you saw her ad on BP.

3. I realize nothing about this hobby will be 100% safe, but being married and drug/disease free with a wife who is the same, I cant bring home HPV or anything else. Am i going to piss off a provider if i insist on a cover and no fluid exchange?

A lot of guys here think every escort is a disease-ridden junkie who hands over 105% of her fee to her pimp as soon as you leave. By and large, if you choose your companions wisely, such women will be the exception. If you want all activities covered, there are plenty of providers who will accommodate you

4. On the screening process, if i find a provider who wants employment information, is that safe?

Keep in mind that most women don't care about who you are; they care about who you're not. Is it safe to provide that information? That's up to you. How prominent in the company are you, what would your boss think if he found out, and could you plausibly deny allegations arising from divulging such information?

5. If i am this paranoid, should i just stick to strip clubs and deal with the very limited, boring sex life I've had for the past 20+ years?

When it's good, it's either just great physical sex or the next-best thing to having a girlfriend or someone who genuinely likes and cares about you. When it's bad, you'll leave saying, "I can't believe I just spent $XXX for that." If you expect the former, you'll get a lot of the latter. You probably will get a lot of the latter, anyway, from half-assed handjobs to desultory blowjobs to sex that would be better with a blow-up doll. My advice: Unless you have game, find one or two women who do a great job of pretending to like you and pretending to enjoy sex with you, and stick with them.

And if you find someone in Benbrook besides Lily, let me know!

[mag7315]

1. If a hotel, then outcall, else incall.
2. Don't be afraid to ask. If they are not newbie friendly, they will tell you.
3. No.
4. No. A little paranoia is appropriate. Join P411. The possibility of them revealing RW information is far less than an individual provider.
5. This is up to you. I think most of us asked most of the same questions when we started and here we are. I don't get the allure of no-extras strip clubs. Waste of money. I have to warn you, there are a lot of hot, passionate women on Eccie.

[shilo]

Great response London. Listen to London basic guy. Especially point #2. If a provider does not have a screening process I won't see her, red flag. Just my 2 cents worth.

[PetrusMaximus]

I would recommend you create an online/hobby persona that is totally not you.

You know Bruce Wayne?

They don't know he is Batman.

Once you are done creating the persona, you can go ahead and have some fun.

[Crock]

Originally Posted by BasicGuy

4. On the screening process, if i find a provider who wants employment information, is that safe?

Absolutely not. Giving away real world information is NOT required and WILL expose you to potential harm.

Never give your name or your employer.

Exhibit 1: https://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2018545

[JLanister]

So one post says don't see providers that don't require screening. The next one says don't give your real name or employer (which I agree with). Then I read all the newbie friendly provider's ads and the ones that screen say they need your real name and employer information.

This is why I'm totally confused. I can only assume that most of you were able to obtain references before screening became a requirement. Meanwhile my balls are getting fuller...