There was an elderly man who wanted to get his younger girlfriend pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. When the man came back the next day he handed the specimen cup back to the doctor and it was empty. The doctor asked, "Whats the problem?"
:The old man says, "Doc, it was the damnedest thing. I tried with my right hand.....nothing. I tried with my left hand.....nothing. My wife tried with her right and then her left....still nothing. My wife even had her 19 year old girlfriend try with both her hands and her mouth....still nothing.
The doctor then says, "Really your wife let her friend try and help?"
The old fella says, "Yes, we all tried hard but we just couldn't get the lid off the specimen cup!"