Welcome to ECCIE - Sign up today!

Jasser · 07-06-2010, 10:41 AM

I'm 30 now, married with children, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't have "it" anymore. What is "it"? Game.

I started hobbying because it was much easier than dating, while married. Recently, I found a couple ladies that I'm very attracted to, outside the hobby. The problem is I have no idea how to approach them. Hell, I'm not so sure it's even a good idea to approach them.

A few years ago I would have just lied about myself not being married, talked to the lady for a while, and hopefully got lucky. If not, abandone ship!

These days, I just want everything on the table and upfront. I don't want to lie or have to remember what lie I told, and everything else that comes with being deceptive.

The problem is that most women probably won't be too interested in a guy approaching them saying "hey, I'm 30, married with kids, but I'd like to have sex with you"!

For the guys that still get lucky with women, outside the hobby, how do you approach the lady?

Ladies, what are your thoughts on this? How should a guy, that is only interested in sex, approach you for you to bite, knowing that the relationship will not go anywhere?

Guest082216-1 · 07-06-2010, 11:10 AM

WWW.ASHLEYMADISON.COM

Guest071613-2 · 07-06-2010, 11:29 AM

I was at a very nice hotel downtown last week...I was sitting outside the hotel waiting on some friends who were very late. I noticed a very good looking guy walk by, I checked him out, he kept walking, not much thought of him after that. UNTIL he walked up about 20 minutes later and asked if I minded if he sat down next to me (HELL NO I didn't mind, LOL!). I really liked how straightforward his approach was. I am pretty shy in RL social situations so I like when guys are assertive. Anyway, he sits down next to me and starts talking about the football camp he is coaching, he's from Philly, he starts showing me pics of the camp on his phone, him at the new stadium, etc. Nice, light conversation but all I can think about is that I can't believe this guy is giving me the time of day. He's so.....well......NORMAL. So my friends have pissed me off at this point and I decide to go back to my room. He decides it would be a great time for a swim (it's about 2 am) and as we are walking back to the elevators, he is pressuring me to go swimming with him. He's almost begging. After the 10th time saying "no", I'm starting to get irritated with his inability to hear me say "no". I would have totally seen him the next day and I probably would have fucked his brains out and sent him back to Philadelphia with a sore cock (I've always wanted to do that to an Eagles fan

) BUT, he managed to talk himself out of the panties. I told him I would meet him at the pool in 10 minutes and then I went to my room and went to sleep.

His initial approach was awesome, and if he would have just let me go to my room and go to bed, I would have gladly called him the next day and gave him some action he would have never forgotten.... I prefer a straightforward, no bullshit approach.
I guess the moral of the story is, don't talk yourself out of the panties.

petiteassman · 07-06-2010, 11:35 AM

never know what he missed out on.if he ver saw your pics and realized i could have fucked her brains out swimming would have been the last thing on his mind

NeedingMore · 07-06-2010, 11:44 AM

I think Dannie is on to something. I think married with children is not necessarily a turn off for women. I think the confidence factor (with humour) goes a long way.

My problem is that I know I can get with these women, and then I chicken out at the end because I don't know if these women are crazy and will stalk me, or the SO will find out.

I think you just know if a lady is into you. Plus, with the number of cougars/pumas or whatever you want to call them, it's not too hard. The hobby is safe, to a certain extent if take proper precautions.

NeedingMore · 07-06-2010, 11:46 AM

Dannie, would you have cared if he was married?

slowmover · 07-06-2010, 11:49 AM

Dannie IS on to something. The woman decides in the end. As a married man I have not played a lot outside the hobby, but it was always the woman who made the final move.

BTW that kind of pussy often, (but not always), comes with strings attached.

Guest071613-2 · 07-06-2010, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NeedingMore

Dannie, would you have cared if he was married?

Not at all. My interest in him was purely a physical one...and I liked his confidence. I liked that when he sat down, he was VERY close. Something about that kind of confidence without being cocky (cocky or arrogant will make the panties go right back up, too) is extremely attractive. Even if he wasn't as good looking as he was but he approached me the same way, I would have been just as turned on.

Kids and a wife were the furthest thing from my mind. I never even thought about whether he was married or not.

all_me · 07-06-2010, 12:03 PM

How about now?

Now?

Sorry i could not resist.

all_me

Guest062124 · 07-06-2010, 12:21 PM

If a man comes up to me and says, "hey baby, I think I really like you and might want a future with you, wanna f*ck?" I laugh and walk away. If a man walks up to me and says, " I think you are hot, I want to f*ck you." I just might consider it. Only because he was honest in his approach. I have to respect a man that is honest about what he wants and doesn't have to lie to get it.
The marriage factor wouldn't come into question with me, if I considered giving him what he wants..which is a booty-call. No ask, no tell. Then again, I am older ( I hate that word) and more experienced with men and how they behave. My ex-hubby has given me some great lessons lately on how men shouldn't act when trying to get free tail. Anyway, Jasser you are very sexy and handsome, I don't see why you would have a problem as long as you don't play games and only go for the women who you think just want a sex partner and not a relationship.

NeedingMore · 07-06-2010, 12:23 PM

You see, there are some that fixate on the married thing, and some that could care less.

You want the hot ones (like Dannie) that could care less.

Drink some liquid courage of your choice and go for it. If in doubt, try it on a business trip first and see how you like it. There's a nice comfort of doing it in a foreign environment.

This also begs the question to the ladies:

In your real life, do you care if a guy is married? Does it depend on if you think it's a one nighter or if you are looking for more?

Guest060812 · 07-06-2010, 12:30 PM

Hell, I know I have no game. That's why I am here. I used to have game when I was young, but now, well, I guess I either forgot everything I once knew, or maybe the game has changed and I did not keep up.

I suspect most of the guys here are in the same boat as me, although not too sure if anybody will admit it.

NeedingMore · 07-06-2010, 12:38 PM

Only the players have changed, the game remains the same. Just kick off the training wheels you think you need and go for it. The fall isn't going to kill you, and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Reese, you're hot, wanna f*ck?

Jasser · 07-06-2010, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by reese foster

If a man comes up to me and says, "hey baby, I think I really like you and might want a future with you, wanna f*ck?" I laugh and walk away. If a man walks up to me and says, " I think you are hot, I want to f*ck you." I just might consider it. Only because he was honest in his approach. I have to respect a man that is honest about what he wants and doesn't have to lie to get it.
The marriage factor wouldn't come into question with me, if I considered giving him what he wants..which is a booty-call. No ask, no tell. Then again, I am older ( I hate that word) and more experienced with men and how they behave. My ex-hubby has given me some great lessons lately on how men shouldn't act when trying to get free tail. Anyway, Jasser you are very sexy and handsome, I don't see why you would have a problem as long as you don't play games and only go for the women who you think just want a sex partner and not a relationship.

Ah Reese, once again you're too kind! I can honestly say that I've never talked myself out of booty before (Dannie), but I have been told that I'm a bit too forward or honest at times.

I think my issue right now is my "radar" is out. I used to be able to determine who I stood a chance with. These days, I get nothing on the radar, lol. I usually get interference with my own cock-waves.

Hmmmm...I may just go for it and see what happens. The worst thing that could happen is her getting offended, telling me "hell no", and then mentioning it to my wife. Then again, that might be a good thing.

Guest122711 · 07-06-2010, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jasser

"hey, I'm 30, married with kids, but I'd like to have sex with you"!

Actually that does work, but it's much less about what you say than how you say it and how you act. Chances are if you have been staring or glancing over at these lady's for a while and not done anything, try somewhere else, they have already noticed the lack of action on your part.

It's best to ignore her/them for a while, just be yourself confident and fun. They will notice you and want to talk, after a while then you hit her with that line and I'll bet your success rate is probably over 70%.

That being, I assume your at a bar or someplace where the intent for anyone who is or is playing single wants to hook up anyway. Bar = good , church = not so much.

"it" is confidence, ladies love that so when walk in feel like you own the place.