Father Oreilly
One Tuesday morning, Father Oreilly is puttering around the church. A few minutes later, his friend Jack drops by and says to Father Oreilly, “Hey father, it’s a beautiful day, let’s go for a round of golf” Father Oreilly says, “I’d love to but I have confessional duty today and I can’t leave the church”. Jack says, “Father, it a Tuesday morning. Nobody is going to come by for confession today. Let’s go golfing. In the unlikely event somebody comes by for confession, have Joe the janitor fill in for you. I know you have that laminated card in the confessional with each sin matched to the appropriate penance. Just show Joe how to use the card." Father Oreilly thinks for a bit and finally says, “You know Joe, that might work”. “ Give me a few minutes to brief Joe on how to hear sins and use the card. Then we can be off to our round”. Father Oreilly briefs Joe on the procedures and how to use the card. He tells him that nobody comes into the church for confession on Tuesdays anyway and not to be worried.
So, off they go for their round of golf. Sure enough, about five minutes later, this soul enters the church and heads straight for the confession booth. Joe notices and runs to the back of the booth and enters. He’s got that laminated card ready with his pen light flashlight to read the card. Joe opens the curtain and says,” My son, do you have sins to confess?”. The man on the other side of the curtain says, “Yes father I have sinned. I have engaged in anal sex”. Joe lights up his flashlight and scans the laminated card, looking for anal sex. He can’t find anything on the card to do with anal sex. In a panic, Joe peeps out the back door of the confessional and notices Jimmy, the alter-boy polishing statues on the Alter. Joe calls to Jimmy ” psst, hey Jimmy, what does father Orielly give for anal sex?” Jimmy responds, “usually two Cokes and a candy bar.”
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