Discovered GF is a Provider

[BigOil]

I'm pretty devastated. I suspected for months, but finally have proof. She has an amazing cover up "real job" and support network so undoubtedly she'll be rich someday. I just couldn't handle knowing. Oh well. Be safe out there ladies!

[MasterBaiter1996]

Wow, that would be a tough discovery.

[Guest071514-1]

Sorry sweety. From a provider, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt you. The money and attention is addicting. I found myself in a tough situation, and it happens to many in todays economy. Try to talk it out, maybe you can work things out. Good luck!

[wildwooly1]

Damn you must not of learned to share in kindergarten ...lmao
It would be tough I guess to find your not the only man in your ladies life; but no sense going off the deep end because if your on this website it's not like your a saint either.
It would be best to work out a deal with her and maybe she has a friend or two you could ménage a trios or something you may of always fantasized about.
When life gives you lemons...make lemonade !

[pyramider]

Any contact info?

[BigOil]

wildwooly1, I tried to talk to her about it but she denied it. Is taking it to the grave, understandably. So no Menage's were up for negotiation. I'm not judging her for what she's doing. It's her right. It's also my right to get out. I enjoyed our time together though. I'm on this site to hopefully gain some perspective on the culture.

sorry Pyramider. Better I don't divulge, for my benefit...and hers really.

[CJ7]

BO, I dont know if you can find the perspective youre looking for. At the end of the day it boils down to you being able to accept it or not. There are providers with SO's that are really cool with their relationship, and Ive had more than one provider tell me they wouldnt have an SO that wanted them to be in the hobby. I suppose if I were in your situation and had absolute proof your GF was providing and really wanted to work it out, I'd show her the proof and ask her to talk about saving the relationship. If she still wouldnt talk about it, the adios to her. If youre not interested in working it out, have absolute proof, and cant deal with the idea, then adios to her and save yourself the time and anguish.

any road you take good luck Bro.

[whitechocolate]

Just realize you are not alone. Many guys have gfs and wives who provide and the guy is kept out of the loop for fear of losing him. What you dont know cant hurt you is the attitude.

[wildwooly1]

Yep Bigoil ..it does sort of show that by keeping it from you she doesnt want to loose you ..but if your caught and you deny it ..it doesnt do much good..she ought to fess up and maybe then you could work something out.
I know several providers that have husbands and bf's and it works ..but both of you have to be open minded ; but it sounds like you have made your mind up..
If thats the case then its time to cut bait and run,,dont look back !

[canuckvic]

Sorry for your luck however you will not be able to understand or figure things out by just reading some posts on this board. You can read a 1000 words but you will not learn a thing until you walk in his shoes for one step.

[Willen]

Look, you don't need me or anyone else to beat you up. But I do think there's an issue here worth raising.

IF you are devastated because she was dishonest with you, then I understand your reaction. But, if you are in the hobby, and she knew that, and you are holding her to a different standard than the one you allow yourself--well, we part company.

Again, I don't mean to dump on you at a tough time.

[whitechocolate]

If I were you, I would try to workout an open relationship to see if that is workable, but then again, I dont know any of the facts.

[Vitruvian]

Honestly, I find the fact she lied to you from the get-go about it more of an issue than her profession. I can handle just about everything but dishonesty.

[BigOil]

I've been in the hobby. But never while in a relationship.

I loved her and her family enough I would have probably been willing to accept it and work it out. Shit, I probably could have helped her succeed in the biz. She's a 10 and the best woman I'd ever been with. She wanted to marry me. But at the end of the day, the devastation really stems more from the dishonesty than the actual idea of her true profession. I'm a secure guy and I knew she was always coming home to me. Like I said, I can't judge someone for how they make their living. Open relationship would have worked for me I think but she wasn't willing. She said she couldnt share me with anyone. Tis what it tis. She was doing it long before me, and will do it long after.

[whitechocolate]

So you are saying she wants to marry you and give up being a provider and you want to marry her but, because of her lying, you wont. My suggestion is you both need to go see a very openminded therapist who can get at all the facts and motivations and help you both instead of discussing it here.