AS PROMISED -- The two biggest liars in the world!

[Yssup Rider]

The two biggest liars in the world are the people who say they don't masturbate and those who say they've stopped!


Recent board activities, conflicts, chest thumping, breast beating and dick waving indicate that there's SO much JERKING OFF in this forum, that I thought I'd quit beating around the bush (and Cheney) and open a discussion on something near and dear to all of us ... our OWN genitalia!

How many of us have thought about a gorgeous star, supermodel or produce item and rubbed one out, only to realize that maybe nobody knows us as well as we do?

Some of the angst filled postings online reinforce it for me. With all the drama out there, sometimes nothing beats the blues like beating the old meat! As an aficionado of FBSM, I oft prefer the pure sensuality of it ... face down with my eyes closed; the "happy ending" almost anticlimactic.

I'll admit to jerking off in just about every environment I've entered ... from junior high school English to a bathroom in the halls of Congress. In one form or another.

How about you?

What do you guys think about when squeezing your own lemon, grinding your own corn, bopping your own baloney, choking your chicken, feeding the roaches, slapping little Johnny behind the ears, beating the bishop, polishing the dolphin or jerkin the gherkin (I like that one)?

Providers: as many guys as you might see and as hard as you sometimes have to work to make toads like us feel sexy, what erotic vision runs through your head when you don't HAVE to smile, wink, moan, groan and wet the sheet?

Do you let yourself go when it's the moment of truth? Do you scream your own name? Does your hand look up and say: "The Earth Moved?"

I figure we might as well come forth with this topic because at the end of the day, we all know there's going to be a lot more jerking off on ECCIE!

FOLKS?

[saj1000]

I am a self proclaimed Horndog. I would say at least once a day, and, on average, 10 times a week.

If I didn't spank that bad monkey, I wouldn't get any work done!

[Yssup Rider]

Of course, my dick gets headaches from time to time...

And once in a while it NSNC's me too!

[dog soldier 4]

Hell at my age I just want to be sure the Damm thing can still work!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by dog soldier 4

Hell at my age I just want to be sure the Damm thing can still work!!!!!!!!!!!1

That's funny..... The thought of performing a "systems check" prior to engaging in activities had not been thought about till just now....

[pipefitter73]

I've always heard that 90% of men masturbate and the other 10% don't have arms.

[rrabbit6926]

Originally Posted by pipefitter73

I've always heard that 90% of men masturbate and the other 10% don't have arms.

[Yssup Rider]

Well methinks the ladies doth remain quiet on this one ...and we all know they sing the same song in the shower we do! You know, the one that 2% of the population sings when they aren't wanking under the nozzle.

Do YOU know that song?

Didn't think so....

[Rachel Reid]

As often as I can! Why do you think I have carpel tunnel?!

[harkontume]

Masturbation is Sex with someone I Love.

[Guest032213-02]

Give me an empty room and a wireless connection, and some kleenex, and I am down!

[Guest030617]

Every chance i get.......in fact I brb!!

[E2]

rubbed one out in the time it took to take the poll.

[Ivy Chick]

I masturbate every day...sometimes a few times a day!

[Yssup Rider]

Originally Posted by Txn5inThick

Give me an empty room and a wireless connection, and some kleenex, and I am down!

Ahh, SCIENCE! Usta be a Playboy stashed under the bed, wanking to heavily airbrushed photos of perfect female bodies. Didn't need to do anything except make sure the door was locked and your grandma wasn't listening at the door!

I don't know how many replacement keyboards I had to buy while my kids were growing up. Something kept gumming up the works!

YOW!