OK SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME!!!!!!!!

[Bianca Page]

Hello Everyone,

I'm Bianca Page. I moved here from Houston about a year and a half ago. I've been pretty UTR since I've been here, but I started to branch out a bit. I've been in this business a long time in TX and i'm used to a certain protocol when it comes to references. Most men in TX just send references (or P411 request) with their first PM, I check them and BAM the magic happens. However, here in TN you wouldn't believe how many men get offended when I asked them for references. It boggles my mind, so I was wondering " Is asking for references a lucrative part of screening here, or am I missing something?". Is there another way the girls screen here? Seriously, its really annoying to have guys get defensive about it.

If anyone has any advice or the answers please tell me I would love to
know!!!!

XOXOXO & (open mouth kisses)

[Abe Normal]

I for one have never used P-411 or any other site that requests money from me to keep my personal info. I have always gotten by with provider references, and I don't mind at all giving a lady these references.

Tennessee is a much smaller state, and I guess some guys think everyone knows everyone, LOL

Personally, I only get a hall pass 3-4 times per year, so a P-411 account for me would be a waste of money.

Maybe the number of reviews by a gent on here or other sites might help you some, especially if they are seeing mostly reputable providers.

But why they might not want to give any kind of reference is beyond me.

[memdal]

Makes no sense to me why anyone would not give references. I personally like that a lady is doing homework on me because that indicates she has done the same on others. I don’t see a girl without reviews or a personal recommendation from someone I trust, wouldn’t expect it of her in the other direction.

[bluffcityguy]

Originally Posted by Bianca Page

...I've been in this business a long time in TX and i'm used to a certain protocol when it comes to references. Most men in TX just send references (or P411 request) with their first PM, I check them and BAM the magic happens.

Exactly why I invested in P411 years ago. Makes life so much easier (as opposed to choosing my references, warning them that you'll be contacting them, following up to make sure it happens...).

Cheers,

bcg

[tomatommm]

One thing I hate is giving references. So that's why I have P411!

It just feels strange to have some one calling my other brief encounters.

[Guest091315]

Ok, I'm fairly new to this. But I've got to say, it seems really odd that so many hobbyists would have a problem providing references. Maybe they've had bad experiences or something.

Gina has said that P411 is merely one tool that providers may use to screen. I know that for some providers, that's enough, but I can easily see why others would want to check your references just to be sure you're not a dickwad, psycho, or LEO. I personally plan on only using P411 for my "freshman" year and afterwards relying on my references if I want to see someone new.

There was a discussion on another MB about screening a few months ago, and as an observer, it seems to come down to this with some guys: "I'm better than her." The arrogance! Come on now, these gals are just looking out for themselves.

[Sonoman]

I have to agree with Abe on some of his points. I don't tend to look up every dress that stops in town. I also stopped traveling so having P-411 is not as important as then. I once had it but stopped due to no travel. Currently I seem to find a couple of ladies a stay with them when I do play in the hobby. Should I decide to peek under another skirt then its not hard to remember who my reference are. Not sure why they people whom contact you want give references. That kinda dumb in my opinion.

What part of Tennessee are you have trouble with?

Originally Posted by Abe Normal

I for one have never used P-411 or any other site that requests money from me to keep my personal info. I have always gotten by with provider references, and I don't mind at all giving a lady these references.

Tennessee is a much smaller state, and I guess some guys think everyone knows everyone, LOL

Personally, I only get a hall pass 3-4 times per year, so a P-411 account for me would be a waste of money.

Maybe the number of reviews by a gent on here or other sites might help you some, especially if they are seeing mostly reputable providers.

But why they might not want to give any kind of reference is beyond me.

[Abbey_Jones]

Ok, I guess I'll be the Yankee bitch who airs the family's dirty laundry, b/c I've had way too many quality clients tell me horror stories. And I can only speak for my neck of the woods.

There are those douche bags or ignorant newbies that just don't get it and refuse to play the game by the rules. Most of us don't see them.

However... (And I blame much of this on Karl Dean running good ppl out of town some years back - but that was before my time here.) There are way too many providers here who give clients a hard time or refuse to be a reference b/c they want to make it harder for them to see someone else. Some providers have blackmailed or outed clients, so they've made it scary for some guys to give personal info. And a lot of providers don't respond to PM's, emails or texts in a timely manner, so some fellas don't see the point in trying to use them as a reference.

All of my gents are classy guys and I'll gladly give them a reference anytime. I've got about 50 public reviews, so you are welcome to start your mailing list there girlfriend!

Nashville's a great place though, and a lot of fun! So give TN a chance. And if you're free and in the area, the first drinks on me!

[Melissa Nash]

it's not just your experience Bianca. I have been based in Nashville since I began this journey and in all of my ads, P411 profile and Date Check profile I include my screening policy and ask that screening info including references be sent in the first email to me. It rarely happens that way. My most recent ad I actually stated that I am no longer available for a 20 emails back and forth type relationship before the guy actually books. It's like pulling teeth trying to get screening info. I don't get it. If I have one piece of screening info in each email from the same guy it just slows down the process. It's a very streamlined, easy and fast process when it's done as I ask.
a simple

"hello my name is ______. I would like to see you on _____ at ____time. I am ___yrs old and live in ________. Here are my references 1. _________ her email is ____________
2. ______________her email is _____________. My phone number is ____________. Please do not call me without first asking my permission by email.

It's just that simple. If you don't have references just ask the lady if there is any other way she can screen you. Some of us offer a discrete work verification and some don't. I personally have many ways I can access information about company a gentleman works for to verify him especially if it's a profession occupation.


_

[Melissa Nash]

Oh and for the gentlemen who may feel awkward about the ladies talking to other ladies for the references, we usually do not chit chat about the specifics of your previous encounters. It's a very brief conversations that simply asks if you are a safe date or not. I don't want to know what you look like, if you have the stamina of a bull etc.
I want to know if you are someone I should worry about trying to harm me in anyway.
IF and only if I have had a bad experience such as physical harm occurred or super bad hygiene or even if he's a major jerk, I will pass that info along to the lady asking for my reference so she may make her own decision whether to meet him or not.
I have very few names on my DO NOT SEE list and I notify them to cease contacting me. One gentleman still puts me down as his references every time lol. In that instance, I do divulge more specific information if a lady asks for my reference on him. Just because I won't see someone doesn't mean the next lady will feel the same.
Never be afraid to provide a few references.
I wish it was a situation where everyone can be trusted but that's unrealistic for both ladies and gentlemen.

[Sonoman]

On top of Abbey Jones and under Melissa Nash. If I turn over I'll be in the middle.
I'll sleep well tonight.

You 2 ladies pretty much laid it all out in a simple series of steps. It ceases to amaze me the number of people whom refuse to follow a few simple requirements.

[DudeX]

So is just the P411 thing all that most ladies require, or do you need that AND references?

[Guest091315]

Originally Posted by DudeX

So is just the P411 thing all that most ladies require, or do you need that AND references?

It's not a stupid question. Every provider has her own methods for screening, but in a word, yes, some require references in addition to being a P411 member. The key is, as the ladies have said, to carefully read her screening requirements on her website or ad, and to send all of it in one email the first time you contact her.

What Bianca is talking about are guys who for whatever reason don't think they should have to provide references in order to see her. It's like, shit, if she asks for refs, and you don't have them or don't want to tell her, then move on brutha!
To get offended or pissy about it, now that's stupid.

[Melissa Nash]

DudeX, P411 and Date Check are set up so that your references are listed on your profile so when a member contacts a lady who is also a member, the lady can view your list of references and if she chooses can then contact the ladies that are listed on your profile for further verification. I personally see P411 members with 1 or more references so new members still have to have 1 reference under their belt, so to speak lol.

[DudeX]

PBJ, Thank you. Agreed.
Melissa, Good one. LOL. I've got one under my belt, so maybe there's a chance...