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aWickedDon · 08-24-2014, 03:24 AM

Im more of a dominant type personality in the bedroom...always have been. Never had any interest in being dominated to any degree. But I recently had an experience where I let a female partner who is mostly submissive take a more dominant role and have been thinking about it every since...

It wasnt the dominate act itself that was satisfying per se but watching her move into a more dominant role was SUCH a damn turn on. I googled topping from the bottom and switching and it seems common place in BDSM circles. Something id like to look into and explore more of.

Does anyone have any experience or storys about this type of thing? Seems like it would only work with longer term relationships where either a dominant or submissive role has been established. Has anyone here ever heard of these terms or type of play?

Ms. Athena · 08-24-2014, 08:55 AM

Im one that doesnt have to control but wont be controlled....I adore a challenge. So a strong man that gives me his power to please him, Yet makes sure to turn it around and take me to those levels as well is ALWAYS welCum........We all need a break, just to relax and enjoy the pleasure. If your always having to be the ONE to do all the work, to think ahead of the others so you can push them..(Yes I do get off on this), but it is also nice to relax and enjoy as well.......

Hot to Trot Daphne · 08-24-2014, 05:22 PM

I'm a switch, but not for everyone. A certain amount of trust has to be established first.

aWickedDon · 08-24-2014, 07:29 PM

I read more about the subject and "bratty sub" comes up alot. This may explain why I like rebellious girls, lol... (see my avatar). The exchange of power in the relationship as Ms. A described it was just the beginning of what made it sexy. Not wanting to take a break from the dominant role really but giving power and taking it back was extremely hot. Something ill have to look into more but it definitely takes alot of time and trust and probably not suited for 1 hour here or 1 hour there appointments.

Guest031115 · 08-25-2014, 08:05 AM

I have that kind of dynamic with a long term friend who I have been seeing regularly for over 18 months. I am very submissive but with him I love to switch. We have built up a huge level of trust though. I have another friend who enjoys me controlling him but he isn't sure enough for me to take complete control. He will not allow bondage of an kind or sensory deprivation which I am working towards him being comfortable with.

One of the biggest surprises for me switching is topping brings out my inner child. I giggle and laugh at the sounds of smacking and the look of pain/pleasure on his face!!

Zhivago52 · 08-25-2014, 10:19 AM

Natural Dominant here that enjoys playing switch every now and then. Nice to let someone else be in total control every now and then.

MOCHAakaMOCHA · 08-27-2014, 02:29 PM

Lol...exactly what Zhivago52 said.

houston_switch · 08-27-2014, 08:10 PM

I am a switch, usually i like to receive, but lately i have enjoyed giving a spanking to my playmates as well... their limits are respected, but I find it a huge turn on.

Sometimes I have been in a session with a playmate who will advertise, role-play or domination as part of her menu and when i get there, she will not have the slightest idea how to spank a guy... so topping from the bottom is sometimes a necessity.

Cpalmson · 08-27-2014, 10:23 PM

I like to play both-- even in the same session. It seems like with regular providers, I'm always taking the lead role which is kinda frustrating. There are times when I want the woman to take the initiative and control the session.

Island · 09-24-2014, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhivago52

Natural Dominant here that enjoys playing switch every now and then. Nice to let someone else be in total control every now and then.

Right on the nose for me too lol. I've been in the bdsm lifestyle in r/l since i was at a young age, so I went through the sub stages and learning and found myself to turn out a Domme, but with the certain people or out of the blue I will switch instantly. It is rare, but it happens.

Halfbad · 09-24-2014, 07:37 AM

While I'm quite sure the SO and I are complete amateurs compared to many on the forum we find we don't even think in terms of "switching" so we are pretty vanilla, concentrating on the sensual aspects.

Depending on our mood we seem to be equally comfortable in either role. We each have our favorites . . . though listening to her "dirty talk" while pegging me turns us BOTH on. We both enjoy restraint, blindfolds and using our flogger, but don't leave welts . . . just a nice pink glow

We realize its commercial porn but we like much of the Nina Hartley sensual domination "style". We're actually trying to work up the nerve to seek out being sensually dominated as a couple . . . its gonna be a bit of a leap in faith for sure but for now, we just keep on doing what seems "fun" at the moment.

Maybe we are "french vanilla" instead of plain vanilla???

Island · 09-24-2014, 08:00 AM

Halfbad - I've found that when I had an SO a long time ago, it was similar to that, just that I bottomed a bit more, but one of us usually dominated at first and then we'd switch up lol.

I would definitely suggest if you and your wife are looking to eventually experience even just sensual Domme/Dom then there is still that trust factor. I would def not schedule an appt with someone, I would meet for lunch, get to know them a bit. You have to have trust no matter what or it won't be enjoyable to either of you I don't think. Now if you're looking outside the hobby and it's a close friend you trust, just set the ground rules, or as I said above, someone new outside the hobby, spend some time with them.

Halfbad · 09-24-2014, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Island

Halfbad - I've found that when I had an SO a long time ago, it was similar to that, just that I bottomed a bit more, but one of us usually dominated at first and then we'd switch up lol.

I would definitely suggest if you and your wife are looking to eventually experience even just sensual Domme/Dom then there is still that trust factor. I would def not schedule an appt with someone, I would meet for lunch, get to know them a bit. You have to have trust no matter what or it won't be enjoyable to either of you I don't think. Now if you're looking outside the hobby and it's a close friend you trust, just set the ground rules, or as I said above, someone new outside the hobby, spend some time with them.

Island, thanks for such a sweet reply. Rest assured, our safety, especially that of my wife is of paramount importance and the process you recommend is almost certainly what we will do! Thanks for the great advice!!!!!

And your pics . . . OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

mm-good · 09-26-2014, 06:37 PM

I like to S/sWitch it up...usually its one or the other in a scene/session. Many times if we switch during it gets more like a full on Rough Play session :0 - which is also really run !

@Halfbad - sounds like vey hot fun! Good advice from @ Island for sure. You may even consider a person to monitor for you or go to a dungeon that has a dungeon monitor. Just something to explore.....

RobinArdeur · 09-29-2014, 09:51 AM

I love being a switch - I get to have my cake, and eat it, too

I would disagree that it can only work in longer-term relationships where a role has been established, though getting to know your partner and establishing trust is important for all kinky interactions. I have had wonderful, fluid encounters with new switch friends, and I have ongoing relationships where we both switch back and forth; sometimes in the middle of our time together.

Submission/switching in can be tricky - it's definitely not given to just anyone who asks, and being able to state your boundaries and limits is all-important. Both parties need to have a level of skill and understanding of what they're doing in order to stay safe.