Costa del Sol, Part 3
From 2022, about Scandolo in Malaga, written in present tense
Scandolo in Malaga
I got to New Scandalo around 11:30 PM. One of the Nigerian bouncers directed me to some kind of machine like what you use to pay for parking in a mall. You insert 50 EUR, and it's supposed to spit back out 35 EUR and a ticket for one drink. The Nigerian fucked up so I ended up with two drink tickets and 20 EUR. He called his boss who was going through some administrative rigamorole to get me back my 15 EUR until I said fuck it, I'll just get two drinks. Problem solved. I'd already been tanking up on liquor before I got there, to avoid paying 15 EUR for drinks, so had a pretty good buzz, especially after slamming down a few more gin and tonics in the club.
A couple of Croatians introduced themselves and I got rid of them without a lot of hassle. Next up was Wendi, fresh off the boat from Medellin. She had just been in Malaga for 5 days and this was her first trip, anywhere. She was excited because she'd never seen the beach or a sea before -- she'd never been to Cartagena, Santa Marta, San Andreas, nowhere. She's in her mid to late twenties and has nicely done store bought breasts, but is not among the hottest women in Scandalo.
Aside: This place has serious talent. I'm a connoisseur of hooker bars, and I can't necessarily say I've ever been in one that had as many hot women as Scandalo on a Saturday night. Brixx in Singapore and La Dolce Vita in Cartagena, Colombia maybe compare. Now I haven't been to the FKK's or Globe or the Scandalo in Sao Paulo (bucket list items), but this place is world class.
There's a saying, it's better to let the woman pick you, and that's what happened with Wendi. We talked about Colombian history and politics over a couple of drinks before heading to the room. She told me it was $150 for 40 minutes or $300 for one hour. My momma didn't raise no fool so I took the 40 minute option.
We get to the cashier and Wendi pays the $35 house fee out of the $150. We had a great time in the room. They called after 30 minutes, and we ended up vacating the room just before 40 minutes had passed so she wouldn't have to pay another $35. Then we retreated to some kind of quieter smoking bar in the Scandalo complex. We talked for a good while longer, with me nursing my last gin and tonic, before we traded WhatsApp info and I headed out. She told me she could spend the day with me sometime, but I'd have to pay the house $300. The reasoning she said is the customer meets the lady at Scandalo's and therefore the establishment deserves a cut. If they see her out on the town with a customer and she didn't pay the $300, then she's fucked. Fair enough, although I'm not sure I'll be forking over the $300.
The Nigerians kindly helped me get a taxi to get back to my hotel, and I literally stumbled back to my room, raising the concern of the people at reception after I fell flat on my face. But I didn't care. I'm in Malaga, I've got a great buzz, and I just got laid! Time to knock down a couple of Aleve (OTC pain killers) and hit the sack.
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