Deposits????

[77459]

This is quite the turn off.
Is this the norm around these parts and is it safe to do so?
My spidey senses say no, but I'm horny dammit. LoL

[Dweezle22]

[sentinel021]

It's definitely getting more common in a lot of different areas from my experience with travel around the US and punting. Not that I care for it either by any means, but I can also see it from their perspective with cancellations.

[An_Original_UNAME]

It is not normal in ABQ, but it is becoming more normal over time.


Mostly because, with the ongoing cumulative economic uncertainty, business is generally down. Which means prices go up which means demand goes down again and so forth. So no shows are potentially leaving providers out the entire cost of a hotel night or even a trip.


As for whether it is safe? Same rules apply. Research the name/phone/email and see if they are established or if it is one person's picture with a completely different number. Providers with websites are also a good indicator. Same with reviews on PD and the like. Just like cops, someone who just wants to scam out a deposit aren't going to put that much effort in.


A few other red flags for deposits specifically:


1. If it is too small or too high, it isn't a great sign. If someone thinks ten bucks is going to mean you won't no show... they probably don't even know what goes in where. Or they are just collecting donations before dashing. Obviously depends on what you are buying, but 100 bucks or 10-20% is generally "normal" since that, again, tends to correspond to most of a hotel room.
2. If they want a deposit before they send you the address to come on over for a same day booking? That is generally a pretty dark orange flag. Again, think through the logistics on that. And while there are definitely providers who will do same day bookings for hotels... that is not a smart way to operate and is generally the kind of lesson you "learn" after doing this for a bit.
3. Probably more yellow, and somewhat controversial, but I won't contact anyone doing "pre-booking" until two or three days before they are scheduled to be in town. I get the logic of wanting a guaranteed profit from a trip, but it just leaves things wide open for "Oh, sorry baby. Not enough people booked so I had to cancel. I'll hold onto your deposit and let you know next time I am coming out your way...". Never gotten scammed that way (and pretty sure a gorgeous provider bailed on ABQ for not having enough pre-bookings a few weeks back...), but not gonna risk it.




And as a bonus: Think through the method of deposit. A lot of providers love to use venmo... and are really bad at setting up their privacy on that correctly. So you get their legal name and the legal names of most of their clients for the past few weeks who also don't know how to turn off public transactions. Yeah... But the other method, which I like, is the request for an electronic gift card for hotels.com or whatever. If only because it makes it clear what it is for AND scammers aren't going to bother getting gift cards when they can get straight cash instead.


But yeah. Done a decent number of deposits over the years. Also walked away from more than a few providers who "didn't seem right". Like everything: you need to evaluate it while there is still blood in your brain.

[Bootleg62]

No no no. There are PLENTY of great providers who don’t require deposits.

[beyondthere]

I say NO 95% of the time. There are a few exceptions. A very well reviewed lady with an outstanding history of showing up and following through with appointments. Plus, gives a good experience. Outside of that NO! There is a big trend right now on a lot of sites of ladies asking for deposits. There is no history trail of them. No reviews, they are not active or have profiles on any of the main hobby boards, etc.

I don't care what kind of excuse/reasoning they give you. I had too many guys not come through, I have to pay for the cost of a hotel, my time is valuable and I have to make sure they are serious, blah, blah blah.

A lot of them or whatever GUY is on the other side telling you this would be better off being a used car salesman. Just as many gullible customers there, as there are here. Use your big head guys and quit thinking with the little head. If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck ....... it's probably a duck.

In regard to the economics stated above. I disagree totally. I have been in this hobby game for almost 20 years now. Ladies that travel generally reach out through a board like this to get a feel if a trip will be worthwhile. Many come the first time and basicly break even hoping that good reviews will make the second visit more profitable. Plus it's a good way to see other parts of the country and maybe make some money or at least enough to pay for a trip to explore and enjoy new things.

The smart ones will banter and chat up the board to increase interest and make some connections before they come. This rarely happens anymore. Some because of what can or cannot be said now with the fosta/sesta stuff. The other reason is I think they just don't want to put in the effort and time to market themselves.

The landscape has changed over the last 20 years. Most think not for the better. I personally am about ready to bow out myself. Doesn't seem to be near as fun and exciting anymore and the most ladies are pricing themselves out of my budget. Which is fine and I hope it works for them and they are successful.

[winn dixie]

If you want boom boom times. You gotta give up your real life info and work info. And yes paying deposits or in full is a must these days

[TheHolySong]

@beyond it changed so much that I basically don't even see regular providers anymore. Paying a deposit is pretty dumb in a world where there are no consequences for scamming. By that I mean a client can get scammed and nothing legal comes of it and you can't get your money back.

To OP if she requires a deposit just nope out big dog. As much as we want it to be a thing but majority of these providers aren't your friend and they aren't as caring as their little intro implies and it's best to protect yourself. Some will vouch for a provider and their deposits and even with that I won't see them, I won't support a payment model where I'm at a disadvantage soely.

People act different in person versus online/over the phone, a chick would need to be super ballsy to scam you in person or have to had set you up.

[winn dixie]

Their body their rules. Pay the full amount upfront and give all info requested. Don't fight it.

[beyondthere]

Originally Posted by winn dixie

Their body their rules. Pay the full amount upfront and give all info requested. Don't fight it.

Lol, cute. I see what you did there

[Bootleg62]

My wallet my my rules. No deposits EVER

[Expresso Jim]

Or just move on which I choose to do.

Originally Posted by winn dixie

Their body their rules. Pay the full amount upfront and give all info requested. Don't fight it.

[stiffey]

I had a provider in the Bay Area, CA ask for a small deposit for outcall with a bit of a commute. She must have gotten another call because she cancelled, but she did refund the money which really surprised me. There's a couple newer providers on STG that are asking for $20 due to so many no shows, I might give it a shot one of these days. I would never give a big deposit, probably some dude posting pics he took off the internet.

[Lampwick]

I did a deposit once and I felt like such an idiot. Totally ripped me off. Never again.

[Kvothe]

If you are finding your girls on STG or similar low end sites or you are looking for qv or hh or car dates then never do a deposit.


On the other hand if you are dealing with women who have good reviews (perhaps here or on TER) and their own websites and solid reputations then there is no absolute rule on deposits. Look at where they advertise. Check their reference requirements. No references requested is a major red flag. "I am available right now" is a red flag. There are very good providers who will require a deposit, especially from a new client. At the upper end of the profession there are no hard rules. Do you due diligence and use judgement.