Bid Daddy

[Guest053011]

I'm starting a thread on this rather then hijack.

Gentlemen are obviously not attune to the discussions in the Provider Only forums. It's very common for there to be huge arguments about guys making "Daddy" jokes. Especially in a sexual context.

Some women don't mind, some women find it deeply insulting and disturbing.

Do keep in mind that the statistics on women abused by their father's are pretty alarmingly high. You have no idea if the woman next to you at work, a friend in your circle, your provider, or someone reading a forum has gone though abuse at the hands of a father figure. Such jokes are best left between good friends who know each other well.

All women who have suffered at the hands of a parent suffer post traumatic stress disorder. I'm not talking about strict or unfriendly parents, I'm talking about real abuse. It doesn't take much to trigger someone with PTSD, and the effect can last for days.

I was stating in another thread that I myself don't mind the "Daddy" jokes. I in fact called a man Daddy for nearly three months after a waiter asked "Shall I get a glass of wine for your daughter?". I knew he wouldn't mind, as his sense of humor was as dark and twisted as my own. However, because i know my homour is more then bit off the wall, I try to be conscientious of people around me.

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I'm obviously not privvy to the context of the discussion on the lady rooms.

There are other meanings to "Daddy" or "Big Daddy" than the literal Father/Daughter one. In fact I think the orgin of the whole thing is more along the lines of "Baby Daddy" (or father of my child) than one of incest. In many families, including my own, it is not unusual for parents to refer to each other as "Mom(my)" or "Dad(dy)" even though the relationship is of a married couple.

But I have to say the whole thing, even in fantasy, is more than a little creepy to me.

More than once I've had partners (within 5 years of my age) exclaim things like, "Give it to me Daddy," during sex and what ever the context was a little creepy.

I agree the context makes a big difference, but when sometimes that doesn't matter either. Obviously withing a family where jokes like that are made, we can hope that there is no such abuse going on. And in parents I can see how that's common, when you're talking to the kids you say "ask Mom" so it becomes second nature to refer to your wife/husband as Mom/Dad.

[Ansley]

Great post Lauren.

I'm sure not going to knock another person's fantasy. What I find weird is probably another person's vanilla. One thing I have learned is we are all different around here.

I am quite a bit older than the average provider. Do you really want me fantasizing that you are in your mid 70's?

[atlcomedy]

To build on my thoughts above, quoted in Lauren's post, even if it is not creepy in the father/daughter way...and meant in the respectful familial way I suggested if I'm not in a committed relationship with you & trying to have give you a baby....I don't want to be your "Baby Daddy."

[Guest042611]

When I've played with this variety of dirty talk, "daddy" always just meant the man was in a dominant/ownership role and I was playing his submissive/sex slave, not his daughter. I met a guy once who wanted to literally play with an incest fantasy, and I refused. It didn't mean that he was a sick person or anything, it just made me personally uncomfortable.

[xperiment]

Originally Posted by Natalie

When I've played with this variety of dirty talk, "daddy" always just meant the man was in a dominant/ownership role and I was playing his submissive/sex slave, not his daughter.

Agreed that it usually a dominant/control thing here. Not like BDSM thing but more who takes care of you, who knows you, who do you answer to, etc.

Lauren, I unfortunately know how frightenly bad and volume of abused kids. Never really thought of the impact of people however hearing it and having some form or mental relapse due to a "joke". Luckily I really dont do really bad jokes unless I am aware of my company....I hope. Thanks for bringing this perspective and consideration to light.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by Natalie

When I've played with this variety of dirty talk, "daddy" always just meant the man was in a dominant/ownership role and I was playing his submissive/sex slave, not his daughter. I met a guy once who wanted to literally play with an incest fantasy, and I refused. It didn't mean that he was a sick person or anything, it just made me personally uncomfortable.

Thats a good way to get a spanking young lady.

[John Bull]

From the "square" perspective: It seems to be pretty well established that many providers are the victims of child sexual abuse - mostly by fathers, stepfathers or uncles. I can certainly understand those who object to having to listen to clients who want to play "daddy".

[ElisabethWhispers]

I started a topic about this subject in the Dallas co-ed forum that received a lot of interesting responses. Here's the link:

http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=28420

Hugs,
Elisabeth

[texasgoldengirl]

JohnBull,

"It seems to be pretty well established that many providers are the victims of child sexual abuse"

Who established this? Most of this bull comes from people who would like prostitution to go away and feel that by painting every women involved as a helpless victim they will further their cause.

This doesn't mean child sexual abuse isn't widespread. It is. Because it is, ANY profession that has a high number of female workers will also have a correspondingly high number of abuse victims. I wish someone would do simliar surveys of teachers, waitressess, hair dresssers, etc. because I'm very, very sure the numbers would be the same. No one sees these professions in the same light as prostitution and therefore never ask the same questions of those workers.

The numbers of male child sexual abuse victims are rising too, apparently as more men feel that they can be open about their abuse -- not that abuse is rising for males. Moral of the story: adults routinely harm children.

re: the Daddy thing

I take the whole Daddy thing to be well-explained by Marilyn Monroe in "Gentleman Prefer Blondes." That sweet little Lorelei Lee was nobody's victim!

XX
Amanda

[John Bull]

Amanda,
I expected some flack over my statement but it will stand because the literature is full of examples and the daily newspaper is also a pretty good reference.
It's also pretty well established I think, that many ladies who've had this experience are in denial about it. And understandably so.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by John Bull

Amanda,
I expected some flack over my statement but it will stand because the literature is full of examples and the daily newspaper is also a pretty good reference.

Well, of course the daily newspapers are a good reference for this! The general media salivates over anything that shows a connection between abuse and going into the escort world because it means that "normal, well loved" children will never do so. It simply makes it easier to make women who choose to be escorts not part of real America. The point Amanda is making is they never do surveys of waitresses or other women dominated professions because there is no "profit" to their way of thinking (either the academics or the media) in showing a correlation.

[atlcomedy]

At the risk of trying to stay on topic, the issue isn't are more escorts victims of abuse than the population at large or some other subgroup of the population.

The fact is some have and even more know people that have.

Beyond that, even if you haven't been abused, do you want to be told to call your lover "Daddy"

[Bella_HHD]

Originally Posted by texasgoldengirl

JohnBull,

"It seems to be pretty well established that many providers are the victims of child sexual abuse"

Who established this? Most of this bull comes from people who would like prostitution to go away and feel that by painting every women involved as a helpless victim they will further their cause.

This doesn't mean child sexual abuse isn't widespread. It is. Because it is, ANY profession that has a high number of female workers will also have a correspondingly high number of abuse victims. I wish someone would do simliar surveys of teachers, waitressess, hair dresssers, etc. because I'm very, very sure the numbers would be the same. No one sees these professions in the same light as prostitution and therefore never ask the same questions of those workers.

The numbers of male child sexual abuse victims are rising too, apparently as more men feel that they can be open about their abuse -- not that abuse is rising for males. Moral of the story: adults routinely harm children.

re: the Daddy thing

I take the whole Daddy thing to be well-explained by Marilyn Monroe in "Gentleman Prefer Blondes." That sweet little Lorelei Lee was nobody's victim!

XX
Amanda

Hear, hear!

Up until six or so years ago, I didn't know one single escort; I DID know a friggin' LOT of abused women who WEREN'T escorts.

I find today, "knowing" the ladies of this profession that I do, that the number of "civvie" victims is at LEAST equal.

When I was pregnant (a hundred years ago) there were studies in the media and on the best seller lists and in the doctors' offices about the dangers of this that and the other thing. My mother and plenty of YOUR mothers didn't worry about this that or the other thing and gave birth to perfectly normal (well, relatively) babies.

Grain of salt, people.

That said, I call my husband "BigDaddy" like the patriarch from "Cool Hand Luke"; never in bed, though.

Weird.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

At the risk of trying to stay on topic,

Shame on you.

[nevergaveitathought]

are visitors to providers more prone to having been abused in some manner as children?

i have thoughts on that