Regular Clients Part Deux

[L.A.]

Last December I posted a thread about regular clients.
http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...88&postcount=1

Basic points of that thread were were:

Some of the benefits of being considered a regular as they pertain to me:
1. Screening is done
2. Multiple contact methods makes it easy to reach each other.
3. Comfort level...she knows exactly what I like!
4. Preferential scheduling. Maybe it's wrong and maybe not but it's hard to blame a provider for this.
5. Locked in discounted rates.


Today my issue is as a regular client you are taken for granted. Right now I'm butthurt and yes I need tissue but I'm going to vent anyway.

I know in my own life that if I had a guaranteed monthly source of income of around 275 coming in that it would be noticeable to lose that.
So I've been seeing basically the same provider for almost a year. I love our sessions and typically everything is what I'm looking for. There have been a few bumps in the road but nothing crazy. Mainly oversleeping but she's young and likes to go out and I like early weekend appointments so I've come to expect that and can deal with it.

I was going to go into some specifics of a few things that have happened all very recently that have really bothered me but I'll just be a little more general.
In no way shape or form is it cool to cut my session short on time. Roommates should not be scheduling appointments back to back.
This was a first and I can't even describe how "hobby" upset I am. I never would have expected it from her and today I felt like just another wallet coming in. Get him to finish and get him out!

I am in the hobby for a couple of reasons. It's rare but when I leave a session disappointed I have to question what the hell am I even doing this for if I'm not even enjoying it and I leave a session feeling worse than before. I get that there is a risk of a bad session with somebody I've never seen before but not with an ATF...that should NEVER happen.

I really don't want to stop seeing her and maybe I'm risking it by posting all of this. After today it doesn't seem like I'm valued as a client anyway. She rushed her regular client of about a year out the door so her roommate could take an appointment. Not cool.

Ok...so the moral of my story is when you have a good thing going (both providers and clients) don't take it for granted! Each session could be the last.

[FunInDFW]

Have you let these feelings be known to the provider before posting this thread? You might or might not have discussed it with them; but I would think that maybe she would want the opportunity to apologize and/or make it up to you. That is assuming she reciprocates your feeling of 'a good thing going.'

Not trying to antagonize or instigate, just asking.

[OldGrump]

At least it was her roommate with the follow up appointment and not her rushing you out and calling "next".

She lacked communication skills and planning - not something the younger generation has fine tuned. So pressed between seeing a regular and her roomie's needs, she made an insensitive choice and tried to satisfy both.

Mention it to her, forgive her lapse in judgment and have fun. Remember, hobby divorces are easy to get but if she's been an ATF for a year, you may prefer to keep things the way they are.

[Alyssa Marie]

I'm not trying to be rude, but...
It seems your communication skills lack just like you think some of her recent business lacks.

Did you ever consider discussing this with her? No one else knows what is really going on with the two of you.. If it's a normal day to day hobby issue advice is awesome, but this isn't a normal day to day hobby issue.

Good luck, but I would think altering this post to almost nada and opening communication with her would be more productive.

[L.A.]

Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

I'm not trying to be rude, but...
It seems your communication skills lack just like you think some of her recent business lacks.

Did you ever consider discussing this with her? No one else knows what is really going on with the two of you.. If it's a normal day to day hobby issue advice is awesome, but this isn't a normal day to day hobby issue.

Good luck, but I would think altering this post to almost nada and opening communication with her would be more productive.

Where do you come up with this?

How can you derive my communication skills lack and her business lacks from my post?

How do you know what I did or did not discuss with her?

My point is don't take regular clients for granted.
If you do then they probably won't be regular clients anymore.

[Jessika Sweetz]

I appreciate any friend that comes back and sees me! Thanks for the thread!

[gladius82]

If she is one of your favorites do both of you a favor and talk about it. We as hobbyists are respectful of the providers feelings and if she is a good provider will recognized your desires as well and accommodate them as best she can.
She may have decided to share a room to save a little money and simply made a mistake this time. Let her know and if you can work it out......great if not then you know she is not as good as you thought and you may need to find someone that will be more sensitive to your desires.

[Guests021916]

The only thing I can say is these girls are not business wizards. They screw up scheduling and communicating constantly. They forget we don't want to be reminded we are just another number in line. They get money hungry or just plain forget. Then they try to work out of it "move em out". They are often overwhelmed with calls and they don't remember who is regular.
I get the butt hurt part. I have had a pretty good dose of it lately. The advice "to tell her"
is probably not going to do much good. What do you want an "I'm sorry" will that make up a half day off work lost or cost spent driving to sit in a parking lot? Nope,, the punishment didn't fit the infraction. Drop her and see someone else-- she will scarcely notice. The ass holes that are in the hobby are much better equipped they don't care. " F" em and leave em. Then the girls wonder where the good guys are.....

[Alyssa Marie]

Originally Posted by L.A.

Where do you come up with this?

How can you derive my communication skills lack and her business lacks from my post?

How do you know what I did or did not discuss with her?

My point is don't take regular clients for granted.
If you do then they probably won't be regular clients anymore.

You are the one who said her way of doing business is lacking... You just said that she shortened your time. That's lacking, yes? Or am I missing something?

And communication obviously lacks as your detailed frustration shows that the two of you didn't communicate about what is bothering you and come up with a solution. It seems like a simple thing to resolve.

"I don't appreciate our time being cut short. Is there a reason that you think this is ok?"
Followed by her answer.
Followed by your decision to continue seeing her or not.

Anyway, that's all I got. Good luck.

[Alyssa Marie]

Originally Posted by diddleman

The only thing I can say is these girls are not business wizards. They screw up scheduling and communicating constantly. They forget we don't want to be reminded we are just another number in line. They get money hungry or just plain forget. Then they try to work out of it "move em out". They are often overwhelmed with calls and they don't remember who is regular.
I get the butt hurt part. I have had a pretty good dose of it lately. The advice "to tell her"
is probably not going to do much good. What do you want an "I'm sorry" will that make up a half day off work lost or cost spent driving to sit in a parking lot? Nope,, the punishment didn't fit the infraction. Drop her and see someone else-- she will scarcely notice. The ass holes that are in the hobby are much better equipped they don't care. " F" em and leave em. Then the girls wonder where the good guys are.....

Not all girls pull things like this.
And don't forget some men do too.

It's always easier to see your side, or the side that you want to see.

We get last minute cancelations... Late guys.. Guys that overstay. We get the same thing that you do. It's unfortunate.. And frustrating. For both sides.

I wish there was a perfect world.

Bottom line with repeats.. If either of you aren't happy, talk about it. If you can't talk about something so simple as your happiness in your arrangement.. Well, find someone else that you can.

Have a great weekend.

[L.A.]

Originally Posted by diddleman

The only thing I can say is these girls are not business wizards. They screw up scheduling and communicating constantly. They forget we don't want to be reminded we are just another number in line. They get money hungry or just plain forget. Then they try to work out of it "move em out". They are often overwhelmed with calls and they don't remember who is regular.
I get the butt hurt part. I have had a pretty good dose of it lately. The advice "to tell her"
is probably not going to do much good. What do you want an "I'm sorry" will that make up a half day off work lost or cost spent driving to sit in a parking lot? Nope,, the punishment didn't fit the infraction. Drop her and see someone else-- she will scarcely notice. The ass holes that are in the hobby are much better equipped they don't care. " F" em and leave em. Then the girls wonder where the good guys are.....

I'm not quite so cynical. She's somewhat low volume and doesn't advertise here too much. She's always been good to me with scheduling and working me in whenever I call. I've have never felt rushed or even that I was just another client for the day. I'm not saying I wasn't...just saying didn't feel like it. Probably why today bothered me so much.

Whatever happened happened and I can deal with it....but today just made me think.
I get rolling the dice with somebody you haven't seen before but when it's somebody you've seen 14 times it just gives a different feeling. Today I just didn't feel like an appreciated loyal regular customer. I'll get over it.

But my PSA remains the same...treat regular customers right!

[Tsmokies]

I'm sorry LA that you and your regular hit a few bumps along the way. Hopefully you guys can work it out time n time again.
Butt if I had a regular at a reduced rate I think I will/do understand that if she gets a "real offer" that she would be kind enough to let me know.
She has to take care of herself first and she/they know Ill still be next if time permits. I only want the best for my regulars butt I mite be a butthead on occasion.
Butt I always take my beating like a good boy.
It's all about the fun and win/win

[L.A.]

Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

You are the one who said her way of doing business is lacking... You just said that she shortened your time. That's lacking, yes? Or am I missing something?

And communication obviously lacks as your detailed frustration shows that the two of you didn't communicate about what is bothering you and come up with a solution. It seems like a simple thing to resolve.

"I don't appreciate our time being cut short. Is there a reason that you think this is ok?"
Followed by her answer.
Followed by your decision to continue seeing her or not.

Anyway, that's all I got. Good luck.

When you say that I said "her way of doing business is lacking" you're putting words in my mouth and I really would appreciate it if you didn't do that. You are making inferences that aren't true and you have no clue what we talked about or didn't talk about.
The entire situation could be resolved and I could still feel the need to express my opinion on regular providers and clients and how that relationship should be.

[Alyssa Marie]

Originally Posted by L.A.

When you say that I said "her way of doing business is lacking" you're putting words in my mouth and I really would appreciate it if you didn't do that. You are making inferences that aren't true and you have no clue what we talked about or didn't talk about.
The entire situation could be resolved and I could still feel the need to express my opinion on regular providers and clients and how that relationship should be.

Sure, but you took it to a personal, non vague, level when you involved the scenario.. Roommate, etc.

And I apologize for putting words in your mouth. Can you please tell me how you would describe a providers business ethics with what you wrote in your two paragraphs,

"In no way shape or form is it cool to cut my session short on time. Roommates should not be scheduling appointments back to back.
This was a first and I can't even describe how "hobby" upset I am. I never would have expected it from her and today I felt like just another wallet coming in. Get him to finish and get him out!

I am in the hobby for a couple of reasons. It's rare but when I leave a session disappointed I have to question what the hell am I even doing this for if I'm not even enjoying it and I leave a session feeling worse than before. I get that there is a risk of a bad session with somebody I've never seen before but not with an ATF...that should NEVER happen."

I think this seems more like you are offended from WHO did it and not WHAT they did. Oh well, up to you what you want to do. I'm off to the fork and cork festival. Enjoy your weekend.

[L.A.]

Originally Posted by Alyssa Marie

Sure, but you took it to a personal, non vague, level when you involved the scenario.. Roommate, etc.

And I apologize for putting words in your mouth. Can you please tell me how you would describe a providers business ethics with what you wrote in your two paragraphs,

"In no way shape or form is it cool to cut my session short on time. Roommates should not be scheduling appointments back to back.
This was a first and I can't even describe how "hobby" upset I am. I never would have expected it from her and today I felt like just another wallet coming in. Get him to finish and get him out!

I am in the hobby for a couple of reasons. It's rare but when I leave a session disappointed I have to question what the hell am I even doing this for if I'm not even enjoying it and I leave a session feeling worse than before. I get that there is a risk of a bad session with somebody I've never seen before but not with an ATF...that should NEVER happen."

I think this seems more like you are offended from WHO did it and not WHAT they did. Oh well, up to you what you want to do. I'm off to the fork and cork festival. Enjoy your weekend.

I don't even know what point you're trying to make

I'm telling what happened today and how it made me feel....I don't know how you got anything about provider ethics.

Like the first thing you posted was that my communication skills lack and I think her business lacks. How you inferred that to me is a mystery. You know nothing of what was or was not communicated but you say my communication with her lacked but there's no way you could know that.

Any anytime somebody starts off with "I don't mean to be rude" you can be pretty sure the rest of what they have to say will be just that.

Whatever...I'm already in a bad mood and you're not helping.