Is sharing the contents of a review with the Provider you are reviewing divulging BCD information?

[Whispers]

It's being talked about in other threads where the topic is something else....

Seems like it needs to be talked about......

I'll surprise a few here with my opinion......

If a Hobbyist sends a copy of his review to the Provider he is Reviewing I do not believe he is divulging any information to her. They both shared the time together BCD so she already knows....

I'll admit to having done it on numerous occasions over the years.....

Sometimes I take a little pride in what I wrote....

Where a problem comes into play in my opinion is in 3 specific situations.....

1) He sends it to her with some negative issues being presented to negotiate some sort of make good and in the end compromises his review or stirs up a shit storm.....

2) He sends it to her after embellishing the tale with the attitude... Look at what I am doing for you!... you better take care of me!

3) He sends it to her for her approval and then allows her rewrites to be incorporated at which time it is no longer his review but their story.....

If there is no edits or rewrites AFTER sending it to her..... and no favor being sought......

I simply do not see the harm to the board or free flow of information....

Sharing any other kind of ROS or PRIVATE or Locker Room info though is way outside the boundaries.....

[Natalie Reign]

I've had gentlemen send me the content of their reviews in the past, from ASPD to TER. It hasn't happened here, although I've had two reviews where the ROS was visible to me for some reason, and I clicked RTM both times to let the mods know. I generally like it when boards that allow me to see the full content of my reviews because I think it helps me improve my service. But here on ECCIE, unless a gentleman were to provide it to me directly, I don't want to see the ROS.

I don't see a problem with the review writer sharing the ROS with the provider if he chooses... unless he's doing it with an ulterior motive. But, I can also see from the hobbyist's perspective that shared ROS - by anyone - has the potential to cloud the review waters.

Can you trust a reviewer to be totally honest if he knew that the provider would read his comments? Maybe not. But I have a feeling there are often some embellishments one way or another. In any case, having the ROS exposed may do a disservice to the gents who rely on the free flow of information in the locker room and ROS sections. It's certainly a fine line.

Just curious - Does the Private Comment feature work within reviews here like it did on ASPD? I would imagine that would serve as one more layer of security for the gents.

[ztonk]

As long as it is the hobbyist sharing the content with the provider he's reviewing, I don't see an issue with it. I have done it in the past as well (ASPD's rule was that the review became the property of the board after it was posted, so sharing the content before it was posted was the loophole.)

I share it primarily to ensure that I'm not outing some personal information about the lady that she doesn't want made public (for example, "she loved to have her neck bitten" or "she has two beautiful half-sleeves" or "she has the cutest little piercing on her left labia of a Russian poet")

[flinde]

I dont see a problem with it either. After all, it is the reviewers product, even if he also forwards his work as part of the ROS in a review.

[MarleyMonroe]

I totally agree... almost posted that as well in the other thread. I mean its not some big secret lol. They were both present!

[ANONONE]

No, but it is usually a bad idea.

As you pointed out it can stir drama in even the most balanced people and can lead the men into the insane world of white knight lunacy.

On the pro side. . .I have let some women I reviewed read those reviews and some of them actually took the time to distill the info into providing me a better session the next time, because they saw the experience from my perspective and had a deeper knowledge of what really gets me off. One drastically improved her blow job skills--or at least used the techniques I like best which is what is really important.

The rest of you might not like it when she takes her tongue and glides it along your. . .

[Damon Bradley]

It may not be a big deal to send your review to the provider you are reviewing, except...

Look what happened in this case. The provider turned it around on the reviewer. We all know who I'm talking about here. She even posted things said in the review in her thread, which means other non premium members saw things they weren't supposed to.

What if we all started sending our reviews to the providers we review. Said providers could swap and trade, could send reviews to other providers, and other non premium members. I'm going to the extreme here, and I'm in an airport and a little sleepy, but you get the idea.

I personally don't care what others are doing here. I just know that I wouldn't want to have gotten myself into the situation that we saw in coed yesterday evening, and I don't plan to share information that is supposed to be kept private.

[Natalie Reign]

Originally Posted by Damon Bradley

What if we all started sending our reviews to the providers we review. Said providers could swap and trade, could send reviews to other providers, and other non premium members. I'm going to the extreme here, and I'm in an airport and a little sleepy, but you get the idea.

Very good point. The drama that ensued yesterday in CoEd was enough for me. As a provider, I can see how it would be tempting to defend yourself against a negative review, especially if they don't happen to you often. But I do think it's best to just let the remaining reviews and your reputation with the men speak for themselves rather than start a he-said/she-said mess.

[Guest052711]

I think its better for the community as a whole when the woman can see her reviews. She knows what she does well and should continue. She knows what doesn't go well and she should stop. Honest feedback about how things go would make the experience better for both sides. Even a bad review, if its honest, would encourage the lady to stop the behavior that made it so.

Also, because exaggeration is often one of the key features in any good review it would lessen misinformation about activities on the okay and no lists. Fewer guys would embellish if they knew the lady would see.

In the unspoken example, she could have responded like she did whether she knew what happened or not. She could see it was a bad review, it wouldn't take much guessing to figure out where in that instance it would have gone wrong.

[Budman]

Maddie,
I don't think it is a good idea for the providers to see the ROS for several reasons. The main reason is many hobbyist are scared to write anything negative if they think the provider will know about it. You can see this in the descriptions many hobbyist give. If the ROS becomes open to everyone then many reviews will be 100% BS. I know some providers get the info that is supposed to be private and on occasion they bring it to the coed area. When this happens they are usually blasted for having this info. If all providers are able to see the ROS this would create a boat load of drama and controversy. Expecting providers to read a review objectively and not take it personal is asking a lot. She knows if her place is a pig sty or her phone is going off all thru a session without having to see it in black and white. Having every provider start a thread defending herself from a negative comment in a review would not be a good thing.

Originally Posted by MaddietheCoed

I think its better for the community as a whole when the woman can see her reviews. She knows what she does well and should continue. She knows what doesn't go well and she should stop. Honest feedback about how things go would make the experience better for both sides. Even a bad review, if its honest, would encourage the lady to stop the behavior that made it so.

Also, because exaggeration is often one of the key features in any good review it would lessen misinformation about activities on the okay and no lists. Fewer guys would embellish if they knew the lady would see.

In the unspoken example, she could have responded like she did whether she knew what happened or not. She could see it was a bad review, it wouldn't take much guessing to figure out where in that instance it would have gone wrong.

[Rand Al'Thor]

Originally Posted by Damon Bradley

It may not be a big deal to send your review to the provider you are reviewing, except...

Look what happened in this case. The provider turned it around on the reviewer. We all know who I'm talking about here. She even posted things said in the review in her thread, which means other non premium members saw things they weren't supposed to.

It was her choice to break ROS at that point and share the info. She chose to quote ROS information, and she chose to violate policy.

What if we all started sending our reviews to the providers we review. Said providers could swap and trade, could send reviews to other providers, and other non premium members. I'm going to the extreme here, and I'm in an airport and a little sleepy, but you get the idea.

You're right, providers could start an alternate site to house shared reviews in a database for their own reference, but to what purpose? Aside from the provider being reviewed, I don't really see a reason other providers would be interested in seeing the ROS information.

I personally don't care what others are doing here. I just know that I wouldn't want to have gotten myself into the situation that we saw in coed yesterday evening, and I don't plan to share information that is supposed to be kept private.

The main problem I saw was the provider's decision to share personal information about a client that would make it possible to identify him to outsiders. I'm not sure that sharing the ROS portion of the review is that cause of the rebuttal, I kind of get the feeling that she would have responded regardless of ROS info.

[Guest052711]

As is, I highly doubt guys post reviews with the belief that women won't see them.

Women posting co-ed threads about the reviews is an entirely separate issue from them reading the reviews. I don't want to see extensive threads with the girls trying to justify it as much as the next person.

To have a truly competitive market, it would be necessary for both sides to have all available, correct information. Granted, no one wants to hear the whining that would ensue from both the men and women.

Regardless of economics, when he sent the review to her he was allowed to. For all she knows, he might have posted something entirely different. She could have responded the way she did no matter what he had told her.

For a guy to send a review to a woman before its posted, whether for pride, privacy, or permission, is only his business. At that point, it belongs to no one else and except in rare circumstances when women respond, no harm is done.

Originally Posted by Budman

Maddie,
I don't think it is a good idea for the providers to see the ROS for several reasons. The main reason is many hobbyist are scared to write anything negative if they think the provider will know about it. You can see this in the descriptions many hobbyist give. If the ROS becomes open to everyone then many reviews will be 100% BS. I know some providers get the info that is supposed to be private and on occasion they bring it to the coed area. When this happens they are usually blasted for having this info. If all providers are able to see the ROS this would create a boat load of drama and controversy. Expecting providers to read a review objectively and not take it personal is asking a lot. She knows if her place is a pig sty or her phone is going off all thru a session without having to see it in black and white. Having every provider start a thread defending herself from a negative comment in a review would not be a good thing.

[MaryMary]

Maybe there should be a forum dedicated to hobbyists providing constructive comments on how we as providers can improve our already fabulous services!

I don't really have any interest in reading the BCD of my reviews because getting too much inside the head of a client puts me too much in my head during a session, thinking 'what will he possibly say about this' or 'I wonder if he really likes this or is just saying so at the moment.' I'd rather just enjoy myself and get in tune with what is turning them on!

I thoroughly enjoy the clients that are more openly communicative about their likes, desires, fantasies and also are not afraid to speak up if something could be better! Helpful suggestions always are welcomed guys!

[sixxbach]

Originally Posted by Damon Bradley

It may not be a big deal to send your review to the provider you are reviewing, except...

Look what happened in this case. The provider turned it around on the reviewer. We all know who I'm talking about here. She even posted things said in the review in her thread, which means other non premium members saw things they weren't supposed to.

Totally right Damon....


I personally don't care what others are doing here. I just know that I wouldn't want to have gotten myself into the situation that we saw in coed yesterday evening, and I don't plan to share information that is supposed to be kept private.

It's best that way

Originally Posted by MaddietheCoed

I think its better for the community as a whole when the woman can see her reviews. She knows what she does well and should continue. She knows what doesn't go well and she should stop. Honest feedback about how things go would make the experience better for both sides. Even a bad review, if its honest, would encourage the lady to stop the behavior that made it so.

There are too many men who don't want to say anything negative and will still put a yes when everything else in a review says otherwise. I would like to think that when I'm in a session the lady would be able to know that I had a great time through my body language, facial expressions, etc. I know when I had my negative experience, I was ready to hit the door.

Also, because exaggeration is often one of the key features in any good review it would lessen misinformation about activities on the okay and no lists. Fewer guys would embellish if they knew the lady would see.

On the other hand, fewer guys would mention the things that another hobbyist will encounter to not upset her.

In the unspoken example, she could have responded like she did whether she knew what happened or not. She could see it was a bad review, it wouldn't take much guessing to figure out where in that instance it would have gone wrong.

I am all for expression but maybe in most cases its best to not dispute a review. Do companies dispute negative reviews from consumers? No. Carina received a NO recommendation. Did she start a thread in co-ed? No, she did the opposite, she did her business as if nothing happened and apparently rocked the socks off of other guys. The best way to handle a negative review IMHO. A negative review thread will die a death like a glowing positive review.

[Budman]

Originally Posted by MaddietheCoed

As is, I highly doubt guys post reviews with the belief that women won't see them.
Maybe, but what they don't want is to be blasted in coed and have to defend their review. Many hobbyist will refrain from making any negative comment if they will have to get into a pissing match w/ the provider. You see it all the time in the description portion of a review. Many times I've seen a provider described as a petite spinner only to find out she is anything but petite. I know the typical response is we all have differing opinions but when I read she is 5'2" and 100lbs I don't like finding out she is 5'2" and 130lbs. Many times it is a matter of not wanting to hurt anyones feelings so certain things are put in the ROS. If this becomes public reading you can bet your ass the coed section will become riddled w/ threads whining about how so & so is full of shit. Another thing that will happen is more of the negative info will only be posted in the locker room.

Women posting co-ed threads about the reviews is an entirely separate issue from them reading the reviews. I don't want to see extensive threads with the girls trying to justify it as much as the next person.
That is exactly what you will get if they have free access to the ROS. The way it is now even if they do see it they most likely won't post a thread in coed because that would be divulging the fact that they have info they shouldn't.

To have a truly competitive market, it would be necessary for both sides to have all available, correct information. Granted, no one wants to hear the whining that would ensue from both the men and women.
I don't believe a competitive market has anything to do w/ this. Any provider should be able to evaluate her business in a way to maximize her profit. This is true in any business. You can easily determine if you have priced yourself out of the market. You can look at the services you provide and decide if they are up to par w/ the expectations of the client. If you consistently get "No Recommendations" then you need to look at the reasons why. Is it poor service, poor TCB, poor incall, prices out of line w/ others, ect?

Regardless of economics, when he sent the review to her he was allowed to. For all she knows, he might have posted something entirely different. She could have responded the way she did no matter what he had told her.

For a guy to send a review to a woman before its posted, whether for pride, privacy, or permission, is only his business. At that point, it belongs to no one else and except in rare circumstances when women respond, no harm is done.

I agree w/ you that the review was his to do with as he pleased. If he wanted to send it to her that was his perogative. He should have seen this coming. IMO, sending it to her was not a good idea.