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Duthgar1976 · 04-08-2016, 11:20 PM

I know you people are tired of me but I don't know where else to go.

So what are you supposed to do when the people you most love hate you. I try to do the right things but it's never the "right" thing. I can't go anywhere because of my disability. I couldn't afford to live in a shack on my own everyday I wonder what I will do wrong today. I want go far away and cry because I'm not allowed to be who I am. I'm always wrong I'm belittled for my beliefs. Anytime I try to explain or have a different opinion I'm interrupted and told why I'm wrong. I can't have a say about something because it's wrong. I'm a disappointment because I'm not who I'm supposed to be, whoever that is. If I prayed to the right God I wouldn't have mental problems.

I am unsure one day to the next of life. I don't want to kill myself but I don't want to be alive. I care too much about the animals in my care to kill myself and leave them to fend for themselves after I have promised them I wouldn't try and kill myself again. Yes I see a shrink yes I take medications but that don't help obviously.

I come here because I don't want to bring down or worry my friends about myself. I don't know how to interact with people anymore. I'm sorry for this but I had to talk to something even if it is a hooker board.

ithyphallicus · 04-08-2016, 11:38 PM

Dude, see a professional! You're ruminating, running a negative tape through your head over and over. Get help from someone qualified to help you. You all not get what you need here.

Duthgar1976 · 04-08-2016, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ithyphallicus

Dude, see a professional! You're ruminating, running a negative tape through your head over and over. Get help from someone qualified to help you. You all not get what you need here.

I do guess you didn't read to that part. The negative tape is my life and that I'm my father's greatest failure

bored@home · 04-09-2016, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duthgar1976

I do guess you didn't read to that part. The negative tape is my life and that I'm my father's greatest failure

So the one person that responded semi kindly to another one of your woe is me threads, you use to soapbox more of your plight? How about a thank you for taking the time to listen to me grovel? All this self loathing is getting old.

You read as a ungrateful self entitled brat. Daddy don't like me, the worlds against me, i want to run away...boohoo. Enough!

Your friends are the shoulder you should be crying on, they are the best equipped to give you the backhand or beat down you seem to need.

Piss and moan about how bad you have it... just from this post you have 4 walls, a roof, parents, friends, pets, and medical. Go 6 blocks in any direction and you should find at least one person who would be grateful for a fraction of that.
Plus...this "disability" means you get this luxury with out the grind and hustle, fuck you.

You don't own the market on depression and despair. Its time to grow up or go out and catch the express.

motor · 04-09-2016, 09:00 AM

Duth, if you are on meds, and see a doctor....CALL THE DOCTOR AND TELL THEM YOU ARE HAVING ISSUES, ...come on man, you know that they are there to help

carcannon · 04-09-2016, 12:09 PM

What disability do you have?

TexTushHog · 04-09-2016, 12:42 PM

Show the paragraphs yiu wrote to your shrink. If he doesn't get high behind doing something, change shrinks. This is your depression talking, not you.

motor · 04-09-2016, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

Show the paragraphs yiu wrote to your shrink. If he doesn't get high behind doing something, change shrinks. This is your depression talking, not you.

+1

Y0yoY0 · 04-09-2016, 02:58 PM

'I don't want to dump all my bullshit onto my friends and family, so I come here.'

Gee, thanks! Welcome LOL

Not everyone is going to agree with everything you say. No one but the owners/mods can tell you what to do, though. If you are not hurting anyone, you are free to do whatever you like. HOWEVER, this is supposed to be a FUN place. If all you do is bitch and moan, people will get sick of it. Some may just ignore you, but others might start taking shots for their own amusement, which may well be what is happening to you. I don't honestly know, because in general, I just try to pass all the bullshit by.

What you post, and, in large part, how you feel... is TOTALLY up to you. Start paying attention to that and keep making mistakes in life until you find your way....that's what everyone else has to do. See, you are not that different after all, right?

Sorry to hear about the problems you are having, but as others have said, you do have a lot to be thankful for. Try to make the best of it.

Good luck.

Chung Tran · 04-09-2016, 10:18 PM

I'm probably damning you with faint praise, but it's sort of refreshing to see someone here who is not an over-the-top cocksure, 3-orgasm- producing- per- session love-man..

Lust4xxxLife · 04-10-2016, 04:39 AM

Dude, I don't know why you haven't offed yourself. The pain will end. Do you like living a miserable life? Do you think you can turn your life around? Really?

Kendall4U · 04-10-2016, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lust4xxxLife

Dude, I don't know why you haven't offed yourself. The pain will end. Do you like living a miserable life? Do you think you can turn your life around? Really?

You are a total dick.....

funster · 04-10-2016, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

You are a total dick.....

Agreed.

funster · 04-10-2016, 05:37 PM

Duthgar1976,

I'm right there with you buddy. I am having some overwhelming struggles in my life too. Heck, I bet there are more people reading this that are struggling than are willing to acknowledge it.

You are not alone. You have value and worth! Other people, even family, do not get to determine your value - only you do. Killing yourself is not the answer; but, that is what everyone says, so it seems routine and without thought to hear that - but it is true. Why? Choosing life would mean that you've chosen to give others an opportunity to see how wonderful you really are!

There is a battle raging within you and the battle is actually being fought over you. I don't know what your disability is and I don't care. You are human and you have intrinsic value as such.

You can't control what other people say or think. Did you know that most insults that come from people are really born out of their own fears and insecurities? They are just as messed up as you and me - everyone is. They just don't know how to build you up so they tear you down - and that is their fault, not yours!

Keep fighting. Focus on the good things about yourself and ruminate on those things. I'll bet you have a big heart and a lot of love to give! You can do this man!

You are worth it!

Lust4xxxLife · 04-11-2016, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kendall4U

You are a total dick.....

Ok, I'll bite – why? What did I post that you disagree with? Why should someone live through the pain of a fucked up life, with no realistic chance of things getting any better, versus just hitting the off button and ending the ongoing pain?

People die all the time. What is the big deal? Jimmie Van Zant just died at 59. Do you think he's sad? No, he doesn't exist any more. Whatever he was is gone.

I ask myself this same question all the time. If my life becomes more pain than it's worth, I will be checking out of this place. Why not?

Don't attack me, tell me your thoughts. I'm seriously interested.

L4L