Retrosexual

[Guest053011]

Social Networking has spawned a trend of "retrosexuals":

A person who reaches into their own past to reconnect with an old flame, and then starts the romantid relationship again.

I don't like the idea of this becoming a trend. Imagine being flooded with people from past relationships hoping to rekindle? Spam is bad enough, spam from your past is a nightmare.

Must we really coin a phrase, label every human action? It's choking the human condition.

[atlcomedy]

Oops, sorry I thought this was a thread about WTF

[LynetteMarie]

Originally Posted by Lauren Summerhill

Must we really coin a phrase, label every human action? It's choking the human condition.

Agreed...I just learned about "gender nonconformists" from my east coast friends earlier this week. With my dress code and do-it-myself home improvements these days, I just may pressure myself into labeling myself as one very soon.

Seriously, yeah, too many labels. Can't we just "be?"

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by LynetteMarie

Agreed...I just learned about "gender nonconformists" from my east coast friends earlier this week. With my dress code and do-it-myself home improvements these days, just may pressure myself into labeling myself as one very soon.

Seriously, yeah, too many labels. Can't we just "be?"

Now that's sexy!

[terbul]

An early 70’s perspective.

Albert Hammond wrote it, and I like his version better but I can’t find it.


[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--EqbOuIQSk"]YouTube- The Association-Names, Tags, Numbers, Labels[/ame]

[guest051510-1]

I think the phenomenon of people trying to hook up with "old flames" stems from them trying to reclaim their youth. However, once back with the ex, we realize what about them made us leave (or them leave) in the first place. We kid ourselves into thinking we've grown and changed and are not the same person we once were so this time will be different - well, this is true to a point, but often we've grown even further away from what brought us together in the first place. It's romantic to think on the past with rose colored glasses. We gloss over the negative and it all seems so perfect. We just think we were to young and dumb to appreciate it at the time.



[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BB0DU4DoPP4"]YouTube- Nickelback - Photograph[/nomedia]

[guest051510-1]

terbul,
I thought I knew a lot of music, but this was the first time I've heard that one. It reminds me of the topic of this lecture:
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hJWC5IDyP8"]YouTube- Boonaa Mohammed - My Theory[/ame]

No need for labels.

Remember YOU are unique...


...just like EVERYONE else.

[charlestudor2005]

Originally Posted by Nicolette Bordeauxva

I think the phenomenon of people trying to hook up with "old flames" stems from them trying to reclaim their youth. However, once back with the ex, we realize what about them made us leave (or them leave) in the first place. We kid ourselves into thinking we've grown and changed and are not the same person we once were so this time will be different - well, this is true to a point, but often we've grown even further away from what brought us together in the first place. It's romantic to think on the past with rose colored glasses. We gloss over the negative and it all seems so perfect. We just think we were to young and dumb to appreciate it at the time.

I agree in part; disagree in part. There are lots of cases where men and ladies have, after a full life, raising kids, and the death of a spouse, re-connected with a former love, have gotten married, and are thoroughly enjoying the new life and spouse. I say, more power to them; it may keep them young. I still dream of the "one that got away." From a distance, I've followed her career, I know the city in which she lives (I think), and many years ago, I called her out of the blue. It freaked her out and I never did it again. I know that we have both changed over the years and would now not probably click like we did in our early 20s (we are now in our 60s). On my part, it's not so much reclaiming youth (I'm happy with my age and where I am) as it is wondering what my life would have been like had we stayed together. And yes, I still feel that we were soul mates at the time. But in order to stay soul mates, people have to stay together; grow together.

NB, for the most part I think you're right. But there are exceptions to every rule (including this one, lol).

[atlcomedy]

I'd commented on the other board that I've reconnected with a number of former lovers via Facebook and basically got called a "man-whore."

In about half the cases I initiated the contact; in about half they did.

The intent though really isn't to renew a romance.

[discreetgent]

So much about relationships is timing. For me I have on a few occasions met the one that got away at social events of mutual friends and who know what might happen today. Similarly the main relationship I was in would never have happened if we had met 10 years earlier, we likely would have loathed one another.

[pjorourke]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

Oops, sorry I thought this was a thread about WTF

[Leah Ireland]

[QUOTE=Nicolette Bordeauxva;111806]I think the phenomenon of people trying to hook up with "old flames" stems from them trying to reclaim their youth. However, once back with the ex, we realize what about them made us leave (or them leave) in the first place. We kid ourselves into thinking we've grown and changed and are not the same person we once were so this time will be different - well, this is true to a point, but often we've grown even further away from what brought us together in the first place. It's romantic to think on the past with rose colored glasses. We gloss over the negative and it all seems so perfect. We just think we were to young and dumb to appreciate it at the time."

I agree with most of this except the young and dumb part. When things are over, they're over.

But I think people are becoming more and more isolated with the quasi ways of relating these days, like the internet and compulsive phone talking, so my feeling is that maybe people are hankering after a time when more true connection was going on.

[Marcus Aurelius]

I'm online too much but I hate the phone. Keep it short and sweet.

[Sydneyb]

I was recently contacted via facebook by an old love - my first love. We met in my early 20's/his mid 20s and it lasted 5 years, on and off. I loved, loved, loved that boy. For some reason, it was a struggle - I could never please him and felt very frustrated - and frankly, inadequate. I eventually left and hadn't spoken to him in more than 10 years when he contacted me.

While he lives on the other side of the country, he has an office within an hour of where I currently live and asked me to lunch. When we met he told me he was married now and wanted to both apologize for his behaviour when we were together and thank me for helping him become a better man and husband.

He explained that he was young and he was scared. I had a child and he knew that his life would have been very different than he had planned (he ended up being very successful and retiring by 45 - ironically, he and his wife were unable to have children; something he regrets). He explained that his poor behaviour was about him and his fears and it was never about us.

While some women would resent being the practice that made him a better man for someone else, I was happy to have been part of that good man's life. Having him apologize meant a lot to me. I for one, am very pleased to have had the opportunity to see a man that I loved deeply grow to be the man I knew he could be. There aren't many that I would want to come back into my life after that period of time, but this experience showed me that there are exceptions to that. So, thanks facebook!

[charlestudor2005]

Sydneyb--Really glad it worked out for you.