One twisted Useless threAD.......

[Guest030617]

So i have decided to bring my little happy self on down to Austin on Feb the 24th thru Feb 28!!
I've gotten a feel for most of you men and womens serous side....now for the fun side!!
Ok....lets start the AD within the threAD...
Now that i have your ATTENTION...good or bad, i don't care...just look at the post count....its Advertising, i will start with my Awesome Body!!

PHOTO:
my ass



my boobs



my beautiful face



almost forgot the pictures are 100% me....although i might have gained 50 or soo lbs since taken them, changed my name a couple of times, had a few surgerys, and changed skin color....but they are still me!

Location
the corner of....



So here is the twist now that you have seen how good i look....if you choose to enter this contest you will recieve 30 mins free!!
Rules: I make them up as i go.....don't like it....don't play!!!
You only get two entries and the contest ends when I say it does or when I arrive in Austin. Who can enter? Shit kickers, business men, hot mamas, your pet turtle, or even your goat…
How do I win? come up with the best post in this threAD! The 'like' button is your friend in this threAD! It can be something funny, a picture you took or that you googled, the name of your pet turtle, the best place to get margaritas, best bar or the best place to go in Austin that I would never find unless you amazed me with your knowledge of the hill country. Will the judging be fair? No it will be funny…is there a chance I will have too many margaritas and pick a post number out of a hat if there are too many good posts? Yes.
Would I remove someone from the contest for being an asshat? Yes. but i Might I let them back in if they admit it? Yes I like me some asshats sometimes. I like them More if they know their asshats.

Do you have to be funny to win? YES, your post just has to catch my whimsy or interest, or make me laugh my ass off…go back and read the rules…again and stop being an asshat. What if you post more than twice? That’s fine too but you better have a big belt buckle and your pubs better be shaved!!
For those of you that are still confused here is an example:

Hi BDS the best BBQ in Austin is at The Salt Lick, but the best adult toy store is right between my legs…and the best margarita is the one I’m going to bring you,,, don’t go to Katz's Diner on 8th street because it’s on 6th street and also the food sucks and might give you diarrhea. Now the people watching after the bars close is outstanding, so you should go… just don’t eat unless its right before the maid comes. There is a taco truck outside, you should eat there, i take my goat there on Tuesdays....they have a goat eat free day on Tuesdays.

See simple…it can be more than one thing or only one thing or anything else. You can plead with me but no whining I hate whining, you will get no free time!
Still Confused.....Perfeck!
Fucked up grammir and punktation gets you 5 dollars off!!
Disclamier: Again....so no-one gets any of their panties in any kind of knot.....

Just so there is no mistaking....
This is in fact a threAD...
This is in fact a useless threAD...
This is in fact false advertising at its best....except the contest
Again this is in fact a threAD you probably should of never opened...
Finally this is in fact a threAD that says "Laugh with me, laugh at me, laugh for me, i don't give a dayum just LAUGH....these forums need it!!!
If you take any thing offensive in my threAD....please feel free to let me know...as i will NOT give a fukk!!

Don't worry just be lucky I'm here to visit.....i will go away after you, pass me another margarita and pay me to do my job......

..........Leave

[sixxbach]

Katz is gone btw......

Wow you are sometthing else! In the best possible way!

Sixx

[derek303]

I'm sorry I will be traveling as I wanted to meet you. I can't wait for the reviews.

[lil_michelle]

You made me spew my diet coke!

[Guest053013-01]

Damn, I thought I photoshopped you better than that after our last shoot!

[rCoder]

The Austin Adorables have just announced that Whispers has been voted Gentleman of the Year! The award banquets will be held at each Austin area strip club in alphabetical order starting this Friday night.

Second place went to Sixxbach! His trophies are located at the street corner nearest you available 24 hours a day.

In other news, the Attack Pack is holding a run off election for Provider of the Year. Please vote by this Thursday for one of the candidates: Wicked Milf, Taylor Maiden or Ivory. Limit one vote per ECCIE point earned in the past quarter.

[Yssup Rider]

LMMFAO!

[Whispers]

I'm going to get witty later but I do want to take a moment to make a few observations about your body.....


Your ass


I now know you to be the AntiChrist..... Everyone should beware and immediately cross you off their lists...... The crack of your ass combined with the way your ass meets your thighs forms a perfect inverted crucifix.... Where others are probably drooling over the perfect set of lips that the back of your left knee displays and the additional vagina at the back of your right knee..... I see you for the demon you are..... Obviously a Shape Shifter as well due to the other pictures.... I do watch Supernatural regularly!

my boobs



I had to blow it up to realize those are not wrinkles but hair on your boobs.... 666 on display as well....

my beautiful face




at least you have all of your teeth... or at least all of someone's teeth..... Outside of the other imperfections...... Many men can deal with butterfaces.....

But exposed now as a spawn of hell?..... I think they need to reconsider...


If nothing else.... the Adams Apple should dissuade them....

I'm going to need to rethink all of our conversations in lieu of this new information and will return with a post in a while.....

Needless to say... Many of these other guys will fall prey to the attention you are lavishing them.... But a few of us can now see you as you are....

I've notified your Luncheon "date" of a 300% surcharge ang the need for bench seating for you...... and will be stopping at the grocery store for a few cartons of salt to draw a circle around my my table with....

[Codybeast]

Why do I get the feeling you will be booked solid based upon personality alone? Everything else will be simply an added bonus.
Question? Did you grow up the only girl in a large family of brothers? You are very easily able to relate to the male sense of humor and mindset.

[guest040711-1]

[RALPHEY BOY]

I got food poisoning from Katz's in 1998,. never went back...only ate there once

[NipLover]

Babydollsnow, I hear you can do some awesome tricks. Is this one?

[Rcoop361]

Originally Posted by babydollsnow

So i have decided to bring my little happy self on down to Austin on Feb the 24th thru Feb 28!!
I've gotten a feel for most of you men and womens serous side....now for the fun side!!
Ok....lets start the AD within the threAD...
Now that i have your ATTENTION...good or bad, i don't care...just look at the post count....its Advertising, i will start with my Awesome Body!!

PHOTO:
my ass



my boobs



my beautiful face



almost forgot the pictures are 100% me....although i might have gained 50 or soo lbs since taken them, changed my name a couple of times, had a few surgerys, and changed skin color....but they are still me!

Location
the corner of....



So here is the twist now that you have seen how good i look....if you choose to enter this contest you will recieve 30 mins free!!
Rules: I make them up as i go.....don't like it....don't play!!!
You only get two entries and the contest ends when I say it does or when I arrive in Austin. Who can enter? Shit kickers, business men, hot mamas, your pet turtle, or even your goat…
How do I win? come up with the best post in this threAD! The 'like' button is your friend in this threAD! It can be something funny, a picture you took or that you googled, the name of your pet turtle, the best place to get margaritas, best bar or the best place to go in Austin that I would never find unless you amazed me with your knowledge of the hill country. Will the judging be fair? No it will be funny…is there a chance I will have too many margaritas and pick a post number out of a hat if there are too many good posts? Yes.
Would I remove someone from the contest for being an asshat? Yes. but i Might I let them back in if they admit it? Yes I like me some asshats sometimes. I like them More if they know their asshats.

Do you have to be funny to win? YES, your post just has to catch my whimsy or interest, or make me laugh my ass off…go back and read the rules…again and stop being an asshat. What if you post more than twice? That’s fine too but you better have a big belt buckle and your pubs better be shaved!!
For those of you that are still confused here is an example:

Hi BDS the best BBQ in Austin is at The Salt Lick, but the best adult toy store is right between my legs…and the best margarita is the one I’m going to bring you,,, don’t go to Katz's Diner on 8th street because it’s on 6th street and also the food sucks and might give you diarrhea. Now the people watching after the bars close is outstanding, so you should go… just don’t eat unless its right before the maid comes. There is a taco truck outside, you should eat there, i take my goat there on Tuesdays....they have a goat eat free day on Tuesdays.

See simple…it can be more than one thing or only one thing or anything else. You can plead with me but no whining I hate whining, you will get no free time!
Still Confused.....Perfeck!
Fucked up grammir and punktation gets you 5 dollars off!!
Disclamier: Again....so no-one gets any of their panties in any kind of knot.....

Just so there is no mistaking....
This is in fact a threAD...
This is in fact a useless threAD...
This is in fact false advertising at its best....except the contest
Again this is in fact a threAD you probably should of never opened...
Finally this is in fact a threAD that says "Laugh with me, laugh at me, laugh for me, i don't give a dayum just LAUGH....these forums need it!!!
If you take any thing offensive in my threAD....please feel free to let me know...as i will NOT give a fukk!!

Don't worry just be lucky I'm here to visit.....i will go away after you, pass me another margarita and pay me to do my job......

..........Leave

WOW, Definitely time to get my eyes checked or remove my beer glasses, and start my twelve steps program as this is NOT WHAT I REMEMBER during our sessions, LOL

[Tetas]

Shit, I may have to come to Austin, you guys aren't putting much effort into this...I'm hung like a tuna can, if whipping that out don't make her laugh, my lack of endurance will!

[atxbrad]

Officially admitting that I am an asshat <lame attempt at bonus points>
asshat-6628.jpg

My goat is currently on hiatus so not available for comment.

I would recommend Torchys Tacos..........but dont expect me to take you there cuz they dont have margaritas. I would much perfer to take you to a margrita bar, get you drunk, and fuck eachothers brains out, then go on about my business.

Because after all..........Im just lucky to have you visit.

I alsmost (intentionally misspelled) forgot the smiley face