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Bebe Le Strange · 03-11-2011, 03:31 PM

I lost my sister today. She was in critical condition for the past 3 1/2 weeks and on life support. They took her off her medication and respirator today at 11am in St. Luke's Hospital. I watched with my family her tiny body struggle to breathe, and then finally her heart stopped. This was a result of severe depression and long term drug addiction. She had overdosed over 6 separate times while living with my parents over the course of a year. She lived with my parents who are upper middle class people. She has a 7 year old son who also lives with them.

I am so broken up about this and have so much anger right now toward my parents who were "enablers" to her drug addiction. While living with my parents she was constantly reminded of what a bad mother she was. No one was really allowed to speak about what was going on in that house, and it infuriated me. They chalked it up to a lack of will power, and expected her to fix herself. She could not. She was severely depressed, and toward the end was treated like crap by most of my family. I did not speak or look at my mother today when we watched her pass away. The sad part is my parents had so many opportunities to get her involuntarily committed and get her some serious help and they did not. They were given detailed instructions by a police officer during last Christmas as to how to go before a Judge with their documentation and get the order to have her committed. They did not do it. They deluded themselves with denial and thinking she "seems" to be getting better. Only to have another overdose occur. I constantly asked my mother what they were doing for her and was told "we are handling it". Well, this is how they handled it. This was the result. I know longer have a sister. Her son no longer has a mother.

There is so much more I could say on this. I don't know how else to describe what I am going through right now. She was a good person. She was a fragile soul. She had so much adversity in her life. I will never forgive myself for not doing more as a sister.

Guest053011 · 03-11-2011, 04:33 PM

No words can ease the pain of a wound so deep and raw.

I don't know anything about your parents, and I could be wrong about everything I say...

I imagine they didn't want to enable even if that's what they did, just didn't know how else to handle the situation. I imagine their hearts broke everyday they watched this unfold. Try to find it in you to be merciful to them, even if you can't forgive them. You lost a sister, but they also lost a daughter.

Only she could control her destiny. No one can force any of us to do anything.

The "would haves" and "should haves" don't matter, because they could still have ended the same way, there is no guarantee anything would have worked.

Though the sorrow will never dissipate, I hope you find peace with this.

hotroddr · 03-11-2011, 04:49 PM

I am sorry for your loss and hope you find it in your heart to reach out to your nephew and your parents.

lil_michelle · 03-11-2011, 04:58 PM

just sent you a PM

Rakhir · 03-11-2011, 04:58 PM

Please accept my condolences. God bless!

Dartswinger · 03-11-2011, 05:11 PM

My heart really goes out to you. I've had a number of friends die due to drugs and depression. I'm 59 years old and it just gets harder to deal with it. I've prayed to God to save quite a few people I know and they still died. Strangely I've come to feel that He must answer my prayers in ways that I may just be beginning to understand. Every persons death affects someone. For the people that you love it brings pain. For some people who hate the person that you love I think that they feel something too. I think that they become filled with rage that eats them up from the inside out. So there you are filled with sadness. You have got to know though that these haters will never be free and will die someday incredibley miserable in their hate because God took your loved one home with Him so they can live forever in His promised land. The haters get to die in misery and live forever in the torture that God reserves just for them. It's called Hell. So when you think of your Sister know that she sits at the right hand of God never to be touch again by those who hated her as she lives free in Heaven forever. Please keep this in your heart and mind and know that someday God will take you to your Sister in heaven where you and she will experience eternal happiness. You will find happiness on this earth again while you live your life till God take you home too.

NinaBrooke · 03-11-2011, 05:12 PM

Oh my god. That is so so so so so sad. My deepest and most heartfelt condolences. I send PM . I am so so so sorry for what you have to go thru. Nothing can ease that pain. I want to hug you and hold you now.

Iaintliein · 03-11-2011, 05:39 PM

I'm very sorry for your loss. . . more words would only be more words.

Sweet N Little · 03-11-2011, 05:48 PM

My thoughts and prayers are with you during your time of loss.

discreetgent · 03-11-2011, 10:20 PM

Oh no. So sorry to read of it.

Tiffani Jameson · 03-11-2011, 10:31 PM

My condolences to you, Bebe. I pray you find peace as well.

TexTushHog · 03-11-2011, 11:42 PM

My condolences.

I obviously know nothing about the particulars, but depression (and probably chemical dependency) is horribly misunderstood by most people. They do and say the damnedest things and think that they are helping. If my experience with depression is any guide, I suspect your parents reaction was based more in ignorance than on indifference. That may not make it any easier to take, but it makes it easier to understand.

Guest052912 · 03-12-2011, 12:30 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, I know all to well what this kind of tragedy can do to a family. I have lost 2 family members in 3yrs due to drug overdose. My dad has been in the hospital every month since October clinging to life because of his addictions. I know your angry and you want somebody to blame but it is not your parents. I'm sure they did the best they could. What most people do not understand is you can not make somebody change unless they are ready. They have to hit their bottom before they can pull out of it. Sometimes it doesn't happen until it is too late. I really hope your heart finds peace to move on. Being angry is not going to bring your sister back. You need the comfort and love of your family, your nephew also needs to feel safe and love. You can't heal and move forward if your still looking back to all the what if's. I will pray for you, your family and your sister.

Doove · 03-12-2011, 02:14 AM

Some things deserve to be said twice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Audrina Monroe

I am so sorry for your loss, I know all to well what this kind of tragedy can do to a family. I have lost 2 family members in 3yrs due to drug overdose. My dad has been in the hospital every month since October clinging to life because of his addictions. I know your angry and you want somebody to blame but it is not your parents. I'm sure they did the best they could. What most people do not understand is you can not make somebody change unless they are ready. They have to hit their bottom before they can pull out of it. Sometimes it doesn't happen until it is too late. I really hope your heart finds peace to move on. Being angry is not going to bring your sister back. You need the comfort and love of your family, your nephew also needs to feel safe and love. You can't heal and move forward if your still looking back to all the what if's. I will pray for you, your family and your sister.

Marcus Aurelius · 03-12-2011, 02:23 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. My condolences to you.