My Chopsticks Quandary

[ElisabethWhispers]

I have a "situation" and damn, it may be serious. I was told last week that I didn't hold my chopsticks in the proper old Japanese fashion. Not sure if I worded that right.

I've been thinking about this. I taught myself how to use chopsticks decades ago and I thought that I was fairly adroit with the whole process. Now? I feel badly about this problem. What if I'm an embarrassment to my date?

What if I go to some very nice restaurant and I'm kicked out because of this malady? You think that I'm teasing and joking around and perhaps I am a little bit but it's bothering me enough that I'm willing to suffer the consequences of being told what I should do and I'm becoming emotional and writing run-on sentences and screwing up sentence structures.

Should I relearn how to hold my chopsticks? Crap. I don't wish to insult anyone with my table manners.

I haven't been told of my problem in years past. It seems as if I do not hold my forth finger still when eating food. My date showed me how to hold the chopsticks in an appropriate manner and then he told me that I was just fine. I believe the term is, "He tossed me a bone". Seriously, though, I don't wish to offend anyone.

Any suggestions, jokes, observations, offer of lessons, etc. would be appreciated!!!

Hugs,
Elisabeth

[awl4knot]

This is too much to bear. A Republican resurgence and now more opportunities for social humiliation. It's bad enough having to worry about the curl of your pinky when drinking tea at the Dorchester, but now there are chopstick police to criticize our homegrown, clumsy efforts to embrace Asian cuisine. Next people will telling us not to use spoons when eating spaghetti.

Maybe you could illustrate the proper technique?

[ElisabethWhispers]

Originally Posted by awl4knot

This is too much to bear. ...

Maybe you could illustrate the proper technique?

I honestly don't remember what he showed me. It was one of those situations where he mentioned it and my mind went blank. He showed me and we discussed it. Then I asked about my chopstick decorum yesterday.

I didn't wish to go back to a restaurant where using chopsticks was the norm. That is when he made light of it.

Then? I knew that this was an issue that needed to be addressed or asked about to those of you who TRULY know of these things.

So I apologize. I cannot teach or illustrate what I do not know.

But thanks for your comments!

So true! (This really does bother me on some level, btw!) The little violin playing continues ...

Elisabeth

[sky_wire]

Try Google. It will direct you to several youtube videos.

[runswithscissors]

Elisabeth, Elisabeth....what are we to do with you? Are you about to start an international incident?

The only place in the world I really minded my manners was at a conference in Tokyo this Spring. Anywhere else in the world, I say, just get your food on!

Let me put it in terms that is easy for all us foreigners.......

Close your eyes; take your hand and insert your ring finger and pinky inside of you.....( Ladies I am referring to.....)

Take your other two fingers and caress your clit, keeping the two fingers together; work the two sets of fingers independently; the trick with chopsticks is to keep the lower two fingers together, not pinky in the air, and still; the top two fingers are the grasping fingers....

It should be fun to practice!

Or, if your partner is being smug and " throwing you a bone" to humor you, try practicing your chopstick routine on his bare nipples....

You will either have a lot of fun or you will be an expert with chopsticks or possibly both!

[ElisabethWhispers]

Oh. My. Goodness. Chopstick sex. Can we REALLY discuss sex in this forum? That's such a rarity!!!

And with using chopsticks? On nipples? Oh gosh ... this might go really well with my new bondage massage gig that I'm starting.

[Chainsaw Anthropologist]

I tend to believe that if you are able to transfer food items with your chopsticks from point A to point B without creating an absolute mess or poking yourself in the eye you're doing OK. Have you ever encountered the real professionals who bring their personal chopsticks along with them when they eat out?

As an aside, I personally waffle back and forth between the more efficient European method of eating and the Emily Post "American style". In Europe rather than transferring the fork back to your dominant hand after cutting your entree and placing your knife nicely on the plate, you keep your knife in your dominant hand and eat from the fork in your off hand.

[charlestudor2005]

EW--Don't listen to them. You're not really adroit at using chopsticks until you eat with just one.

[Carrie Hillcrest]

Originally Posted by Chainsaw Anthropologist

I tend to believe that if you are able to transfer food items with your chopsticks from point A to point B without creating an absolute mess or poking yourself in the eye you're doing OK.

This.

Just don't put the chopsticks up your nose or in/behind your ear, and I'm sure no one is going to get huffy and ask you to leave the table.

[oden]

Think crimping your hand instead of manipulating your fingers to do the vulcan live long and prosper sign and you will do fine and you can eat more without getting finger cramps!

[awl4knot]

I remember this from my distant childhood:

"I eat my peas with honey,
I"ve done it all my life,
It makes the peas taste funny,
But it keeps them on the knife."

If you can eat peas with chopsticks you are more than adept.

Awl4knot

[Sydneyb]

EW - Come back to Houston -- We never got to my girlfriends Sushi place. I promise its the best sushi in Houston -- I never even LIKED it until I had carefuly constructed - and selected - Sushi at her place. You're gonna love it.
And when I drop a piece, I will continue to look you in the eye, smile while you tell your story (or continue with mine) and pick up that piece of Sashimi with my bare damn fingers and pop it in my mouth. And you should too; but only with your sweet smile and with pleasure. You deserve to enjoy - how it gets done are just details no one should be concerned with, aside from the one indulging.

[burkalini]

Is this really a thread that's worth anything. Elizabeth love some your comments on other things but on this ( no disrespect mean't) Get a life

[Sydneyb]

Geez - don't take things so literally! I think EW was making a softer commentary on the fears of a woman - or people in general - in committing a social paux pas.

In business of any sort, its important to present yourself with varying degrees of sophistication. In the business she is in, there is so often a value placed on the RIGHT of presentation and in exchange the humanity of 'I just don't know what to DO dammit' is missed.

I think EW was being soft and human - and warning potential clients that she might not always get it right. Call it truth in advertising or call it marketing something different; clumsy has its appeal to a certain client base - I used to depend on it!

In either case, I can promise you - resonating on a lower vibration than your expectations isn't necessarily a bad thing. I like it. Makes me want to give her a hug. Or remind her its okay to eat - and live - with vigor!

[catnipdipper]

Find a quiet table in the back and politely ask for a fork and give em a wink.