Get to Know Your Provider

[James1588]

Variety is a good thing. I think we all know that. But there are, I think, some real advantages in doing most of your demimonde business with just a few providers. And the advantage I'm thinking of now is that you get to know her, better and better, the more times you see her.

This past Friday, I saw my in-state regular. This is the woman I've seen the most often ... seven or eight times over the past year and a few months. (As you can see, I don't "hobby" very often.) This business is all about the sex, right? Maybe not all, but a lot of it is certainly about the sex. I'm sure you can eventually get tired of someone, given enough repetition. But the other side of that coin is that she knows me very well, and knows where all my buttons are and how to push them, and that's not a bad thing, not at all. And, while I don't know her nearly as well, I have learned to push one or two of her buttons, and that's also a good thing.

Back to last Friday ... we were at her home, and she was entertaining me in an upstairs bedroom, as is often the case. I had put her consideration in a greeting card and had put that, along with a small gift I'd bought for her, in a gift bag which I set down on the dresser of this bedroom. While doing so, I noticed three books on the dresser, and they were the three titles in the C.S. Lewis "space trilogy" (Out of the Silent Planet, Perelandra, and That Hideous Strength). I read and enjoyed those, way back in the day, so I wanted to mention them to her. But she was momentarily out of the room, powdering her nose or whatever, so I went ahead and brushed my teeth and grabbed a quick shower, after which the scandalous sexfest was pretty much on. Eventually, we came up for air, and during the usual recovery and cuddling phase, I remembered the books. Yes, she said, I've read them a bunch of times; first read them at an early age, and subsequent re-readings kind of peel back the layers and you get more and more out of the same books. It was the same way with Tolkien, she said, whom she first read as a fourth- or fifth-grader. Again, her experience had paralleled mine quite closely. So we start getting excited about something else -- books -- and playing "have you read this, and that, and the other." And it was fun. She's read Tolstoy, and Dostoevsky ... she's read most of what I have, and quite a bit that I haven't. And this is a woman who didn't finish college, and isn't burdened by the usual credentials ... she just reads. I don't know that a literature-fest would ever quite replace the gratification of the flesh, but if you book a couple of hours, there's time for both.

Point being: I thought I knew this woman pretty well, and in some ways I did. But you keep seeing someone, and you end up seeing more and more facets of her life experience, her interests, her character ... I mean, there's nothing more complex than a human being, and that applies as much to sex workers as to anyone else, and maybe a little more so. As she gets to know you better, she trusts you more, and shares more of her life with you. Yes, variety is fun. But I'm convinced that if you don't invest the time (and thus the funds) in getting to know your provider, you're cheating yourself out of much value.

[pyramider]

I know the ladies very well. They point and laugh at my 1.3" of dangling death.

[watchoutthegameisrigged]

There is indeed something to be said for both parties getting to know each other a bit better. It seems to carry over into other activities as well. I generally find repeat visits superior to initial visits. But maybe that is because I liked a lady enough to repeat.

[Ed Highlight]

Books?? You mean, like, the kind you read???

[pyramider]

Are there photos? Of taint?

[pumpkineater]

James, thanks for sharing and opening up this discussion.

You raise some very valid points about the benefits of getting to know your provider if you are a repeat client. I agree with you that repeat visits allow her to better know you and your "buttons" for maximum sexual satisfaction.

I am not sure if multiple visits will help you to get to know her true self better, and if that would be a benefit or a liability in going forward. I value discretion and would like to keep the relationship on a sexual level at all times, but that building of IOC through other shared interests may in time pay off for you and other gents. Good luck!

[5T3V3]

I think it is in some peoples personality to hobby monogamously so to speak. I have hobbied for near 20 years, and can count on both hands the number of providers I have used, well almost - I don't really count test drives . I, like you, like the deeper connection of seeing a regular lady. There is no worry about LE and less concerns about personal safety. Screening is no longer an issue, your discussions tend to build on each other from session to session; rather than, covering the same ground over and over with different people much like dating one person verses speed dating. There are many pluses. I have taken them on vacation with me, and on award trips. We have shared the occasional common interest outside the hobby (be careful here). Meetings are far more social and far less transactional.

But there are still issues, personal privacy does become a greater issue, because the longer you see each other the more you tend to know about real world things and the more connected you tend to be via social media and the like, so if something goes bad there is more damage that can be done. (never happened to me, but a fair warning nevertheless.) And then there is the "pretty woman" syndrome, occasionally you have to let a great provider go, because they are getting too close or there is a "real" emotional attachment brewing, I have had a few of those talks which can be hard for both of us. They are real women with real feelings and sometimes they can get hurt if they find out you saw another provider. Oh they will work through it and eventually understand it was business and not personal, but that never happens if you are bouncing from flower to flower. And, if things do go Chernobyl ... having limited reverences can make restocking the shelves more difficult depending upon how paranoid the new talent is at any given time. (seems to run in cycles from very cautious to not cautious at all) And she will have a few provider friends that she will get in the divorce that won't like you much, or won't see you out of professional courtesy. Not a biggy in Houston, but in smaller markets like Lubbock or Amarillo and it could be very serious. All in all, it works best for me to be a low volume consumer and keep my game focused on a few select and over the top special ladies and most will last 2 to 4 years.

Take your pick bounce flower to flower or build a little nest or as Star Lord would say "a bit of both!" But, each has it's own set of drawbacks and its own unique benefits. If you are the type that likes a "true" GFE provider, then I highly recommend finding one really, really good one and investing in her as long as you both keep it on a professional level and avoid grey areas as much as possible, I think you are in for a real treat.