I'm closer to this than I like to think, Dammit !
Can anyone other than me relate?!
Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him...
"You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"
She paused for a minute, tracing her fingers in the ashes, then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"
Again, she paused for a few minutes; and, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it, too, with the insurance money!"
Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, "Remember that blowjob I promised you?"
"Well … here it comes."