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06-20-2012, 10:43 AM
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#1
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Account Disabled
User ID: 140241
Join Date: Jun 19, 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 84
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Simple Truths
SIMPLE TRUTH 1
Partners help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.
SIMPLE TRUTH 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and saying "congrats".
But, none of them come and touch the man's penis and say "Good job".
Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated.
No Underwear - Makes Sense to Me
A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch in the rocking chair wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down.
'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance without answering.
'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, 'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole’s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.
THERE YOU HAVE IT...and remember, life is good.
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Quote
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06-20-2012, 05:33 PM
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#2
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Account Disabled
Join Date: May 9, 2012
Location: Dallas
Posts: 453
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Those 5 rules would make a great signature
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Quote
![Like](/images/like.png) | 1 user liked this post
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06-20-2012, 06:27 PM
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#3
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Account Disabled
Join Date: Jan 20, 2011
Location: kansas
Posts: 28,773
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I'm sitting here on the porch,and it's not working.But I can hear sirens.
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Quote
![Like](/images/like.png) | 1 user liked this post
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06-21-2012, 10:24 PM
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#4
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Let's Have A Great Year!
User ID: 1650
Join Date: Jul 28, 2009
Location: Indianapolis & Touring
Posts: 10,589
My ECCIE Reviews
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If sitting on the porch won't work, I know what will.
Thanks for the smiles this evening!!
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Quote
![Like](/images/like.png) | 1 user liked this post
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06-22-2012, 07:45 PM
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#5
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El Hombre de la Mancha
Join Date: Dec 30, 2009
Location: State of Confusion
Posts: 46,370
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#4 just depends on where you live ...
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Quote
![Like](/images/like.png) | 1 user liked this post
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