Cancelations

[buttmann]

I just had to send a pm canceling a date due to work requirements.... Again.
I've had to do this way too many times and I don't want a reputation as a flake, my job frequently requires me to travel far and wide on very short notice, the lady I just sent the cancelation pm to was one I really really wanted to see, but the career that allows me to afford hobbying has to take priority even when it's time demands keep me from hobbying.
I guess I'm curious what the ladies opinions are, if I have to cancel a previously scheduled date, i always call, text, pm etc giving as much notice as possible, yet it still happens far too frequently, does this scenario get on your nerves?
The lady I have to cancel with usually knows within 5 minutes of me knowing, I can't give any more notice than that, I just don't want to be put on a dns list because 'he always cancels'
I love you ladies one and all, me, big jim and the twins REALLY want to see you, but career has to come before all but family

[DestinyInKC]

Cancellations suck, but they never made me put the person on my DNS list. I have WAY more respect and understanding for someone who takes the time to cancel than someone who just decides not to show up. The more notice the better, however sometimes there is no way around cancelling at the last minute.

[buttmann]

Thanks for the input, for real. I get pretty irritated when I get a ncns, so I'm very adamant about not BEING a ncns. I'll continue to give as much notice as possible when I do have to cancel but I need to have a chat with my boss (who hobbies also, with a WAY bigger wallet than mine lol), the man needs to understand he's cutting into my playtime and all work and no play makes Buttmann a dull boy!

[PleasantSurprise]

I would own up to inconveniencing her in a form other than just words. While being very polite does always earn brownie points, it doesn't erase the inconvenience.

If the shoe were on the other foot, and the provider was the one who had cancelled once, and then again, and then again, she would be expected to make up for canceling a date, eventually canceling would catch up to her. Life happens to all of us. Canceling sucks, no matter how much notice is given. May it be a provider expecting the money or moving things around in her personal life to fit you in, or may it be a client who has blocked out a window of time which for some is very hard to do.

It is very respectful and you are a kind man for giving the provider as much notice as you are able. Informing her within 5 minutes of you knowing, that is impressive.

I would go one step further to keep yourself off any potential DNS lists for providers you are really eager to see, but also other providers too. Providers talk here on Eccie in the provider only areas as well as on other info sharing sites where providers discuss the clients who pissed them off, even in the smallest way.

I haven't had any cancellations, but I do think I would remember if a person cancelled on me more than once, and down the road I might be less inclined to bend over backwards at being available at the time best for the client. If I had two clients wanting to schedule the same time, I would probably go with the one most likely follow through. If I had several people calling, texting, emailing me, my first instinct would be to respond to those who have always followed through, and then I would get around to responding to those that are known for canceling. Priorities would be in favor of those who either follow through, or at least own up to inconveniencing me in a form other than just words.

I would recommend offering to pay a cancellation fee. Something like……

I am sorry to do this, but I can't make our date tomorrow night. If I have inconvenienced you, I would like to give you an additional $$ next time I see you, if you are willing to reschedule our date.

The provider may take you up on your $ offer, which is great, you always want to be on good terms. Or she may decline your $ offer.

Either way, I would always offer something to the person I am inconveniencing, or ask them what you can do to eliminate any harsh feelings. Just know by asking what you can do to make it right, you might not like the answer, and this is definitely not the time to negotiate. Only ask if you think you will be able to fulfill her request.

Oh, and the reason behind canceling, whether it's the truth or if you have put a lot of thought into making it up.... I wouldn't go there. The reason isn't going to change the outcome by much. The person hearing the reason may think it sounds bogus anyway. Cut to the chase: I can't make it, where do we go from here.

[NoahScape]

It's not an NCNS unless the provider causes it!

Or, that used to be the rule, anyway.

Maybe all the providers that tried to create that rule are gone now, due to lack of popularity.

[buttmann]

Pleasant Surprise, thanks for your input, gives me something to think about

[Redwolf]

butt, how much time before the scheduled date are you canceling in these cases? Minutes before? Hours before? Days before?

This, to me, makes a big difference.

[Allie_Kat]

If a guy cancels with me more than 3 times before we've even met, I cross him off. For whatever reason, to me that seems like flaky behavior. I don't want to get an incall and then have someone NC/NS or cancel with me after I have already acquired the location.

[malwoody]

I gotta ask one question BM...is there ever a time when you are off duty?

[JD Barleycorn]

I had this kind of stuff happen to me a few years ago. I was on call and going to see a lady when I got the call from work. I had to call her and cancel, turn around, and just before I got to work they called and said that they got it figured out. Crappy day. I always call if I have to cancel.

[Guest102513-1]

First off buttmann...welcome to Eccie. After a slight bumpy start, your contributions have been interesting, IMO.

Not sure how much lead time you give the ladies....and I know you can appreciate this. But their time is their product. In addition to the amount of time they spend with you...well at least for the good ones...they also have the time spent screening ya and the actual prep time prior to seeing you. Plus the unkown "opportunity cost" they occur by not scheduling anyone else for your initial agreed upon time.

As Redwolf asked (and I'm thinking this is a critical question)....how much lead time do you give them on cancellation. I would think if it is not much and becomes a pattern, you are going to have some unintentional future schedulingl problems. Especially if it is a first time visit.

I am not a fan of pre-paying or loaning. However if it is a last minute cancelation, perhaps getting them a C-note might show some goodwill. But not even really sure about that, as well as to the mechanics of getting them the C-Note...ladies can perhaps chime in on that note (as at least it shows some good faith on your part.

Some ladies might write you off after first cancelation....I would think the majority would if you have two cancelations in a roll.

Perhaps with time, once you have established yourself as a good solid client, more ladies might be willing to work with you

[Guest011214]

what a coincidence...i just wrote a post about this

taking some time off it because of it

[mexmex50]

Is 2 or3 hours enough time to cancel ?

[buttmann]

The last time I had to cancel which brought about this thread I sent the pm Thursday for what should have been a Saturday date, i literally sent the pm the moment I was off the phone with my boss, while I felt bad I feel that was adequate notice, that's about the usual notice if I have to cancel, I seldom have to travel with less than a few days notice from my boss.
However I did have to cancel a date some time ago that was only hours short of meeting time, and it was a multi hour date, beyond my control, but still very much not fair to the lady I was to see, I offered numerous times to send some flow her way because I knew I messed up her schedule badly, the lady in question is graciousness personified and politely declined my offer saying she understood, the next time I saw her, we had a great time and I tipped her heavily over her rate, being the gracious lady she was, she offered to give it back, my turn to decline. It was the right thing to do and we are friends to this day.
No MW, I'm never truly off duty, so I think the advice I'm most likely to follow here is to let the ladies know in advance what my work demands can be and if they still wish to see me awesome and I'll do my best to be there, if they choose not to, no hard feelings and I would understand