Forum Boards, Thing of the past?

[Charlotte Carrington]

Forum Boards, Thing of the past?

Looking at most forum boards (I am a member of about 20 of them) I am noticing a trend on how they are run and used.

Seems like most owners are cracking down on the drama, and most Hobbyist are shying away from having an opinion for fear of getting bashed or hated on.

I know the ladies are shying away from them as well. It will do damage to your career if You get into a discussion with someone and it goes bad.

Do you think they are on the decline as well? What would be the new WAVE of the future?

[JDNorthface]

Originally Posted by Charlotte Carrington

...

Do you think they are on the decline as well? What would be the new WAVE of the future?

I don't believe they are on the decline. I do believe they are evolving, but every medium of social interaction does.

Regarding the new wave, I've asked that question here before. The thread garnered almost no response. Most probably don't have a vision for the future of social interaction between ladies and clients. Once it was the parlor of the brothel, private and secluded. Now that interaction, thanks to the wonders of digital introduction, is moving to the local starbucks.

As for now, I still think forums are a useful way to flesh out someone's personality before further activities.

Good post.

[Cpalmson]

I don't see a decline. People will use forums as they see fit. Personally, I don't give a shit about how or what I say. I will speak my mind. Besides, a person's board persona doesn't translate into the person's real personality. For someone to be judged by what they say in a forum is foolish. Real personality comes through on 1 to 1 communication. That is where you can tell someone's true character (unless of course they are completely pathological).

[guest043013-2]

There are evolving and people are learning how to use and abuse them.

Abusers see no problem with hiding behind the anonymity of a board handle and attacking others.

People who utilize them in a positive way use them as a means to connect with someone they might like to interact with, but smart ones make contact in private. Much as we did not share our dirty underwear in public, we do not share our dirty thoughts in a public forum.

Abusers make a lot of show, and help people on both sides of the financial equation know who to avoid, who to not trust.

It is quite eye opening to a poor little boy from the south like me to see such written warfare occuring in public forums, and a lady who let's herself get caught in the crosshairs generally will suffer. Whether it is a feeling from guys that there may be some truth to allegations about the lady or just the drama itself, all of these point to possible lack of discretion on the part of the lady. One way the fallout can occur is that a gal maybe a lovely lady and her rants against a bad hobbyist totally justified, but the next guy will worry that he may innocently violate some rules with the lady and find himself at the mercy of her rants. (Of course, the genders can be swapped, the thought process the same.) With all of the fish in the sea, it is just safer to swim with the dolphins and keep the sharks at bay.

[Guest030824]

My problem is that a serious thread deteriorates into bunch of half ass jokes. Several threads that I have joined become a place where a drive by just has to poke fun at those that want a serious discussion. ECCIE is the worst site for this as another site has an over 60 forum that is more serious. I don't think the over 60 forum has a mod as it is so well mannered. I will get blasted for this by some one I know.

[JDNorthface]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

... Besides, a person's board persona doesn't translate into the person's real personality....

No kidding. And those are my favorites, the ones who pretend to be animals, commercial characters, etc. and never get out of character.

[Tiffani Jameson]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I don't see a decline. People will use forums as they see fit. Personally, I don't give a shit about how or what I say. I will speak my mind. Besides, a person's board persona doesn't translate into the person's real personality. For someone to be judged by what they say in a forum is foolish. Real personality comes through on 1 to 1 communication. That is where you can tell someone's true character (unless of course they are completely pathological).

Let me get this straight:

So what you're saying is speaking your mind and not giving a shit about what you say and how you say is NOT a part of your real personality?

The ideals and viewpoints you have in your real life don't mirror the viewpoints you've expressed here, and this person is a lie?

And doesn't it seem more pathological to create a separate personality online just to be antagonistic, or honest about your feelings?

We all have the manners to meet someone in public, and make a great impression. And I have my favorite board villains as well. Whether I believe some part of themselves aren't alive in some of their postings, is left to be said.

Don't get me wrong, CP. I like you, and have never had any qualms about anything you've said, and I'm mostly speaking in general. But if you were a complete meany on the boards, I would have a hard time believing that you're REALLY (I mean a REAL, died in the wool) a nice person. We all harbor negative thoughts of some kind, and even they don't make you a bad person. In your real life, you may be shy and soft-spoken with a stuttering problem, and everyone could think you're the sweetest person on earth. But in a situation online when you could be nice, and you do the opposite, I can't help but believe someone is not only looking for a little attention but using the board as an outlet to say the negative things on their mind, and an opportunity the be one of the cool kids.

I, personally have never said anything on the board that I wouldn't say to someone's face. I'm pretty sure a couple of fist fights would ensue if I wasn't a woman, but I've been known to hold my own.
I don't comment on subjects where I can't be nice. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, and I'm not always right (I have my off moments ). Just like in my real life, I'm a no-nonsense person, and I'm not always good about conceding the point in a no-win, can't-fix-stupid situation but I'm working on it. (Some of you have probably seen through my writings and understand why I'm still single.).

Originally Posted by tigercat

Abusers see no problem with hiding behind the anonymity of a board handle and attacking others.

People who utilize them in a positive way use them as a means to connect with someone they might like to interact with, but smart ones make contact in private. Much as we did not share our dirty underwear in public, we do not share our dirty thoughts in a public forum.

Abusers make a lot of show, and help people on both sides of the financial equation know who to avoid, who to not trust.

It is quite eye opening to a poor little boy from the south like me to see such written warfare occuring in public forums, and a lady who let's herself get caught in the crosshairs generally will suffer. Whether it is a feeling from guys that there may be some truth to allegations about the lady or just the drama itself, all of these point to possible lack of discretion on the part of the lady. One way the fallout can occur is that a gal maybe a lovely lady and her rants against a bad hobbyist totally justified, but the next guy will worry that he may innocently violate some rules with the lady and find himself at the mercy of her rants. (Of course, the genders can be swapped, the thought process the same.) With all of the fish in the sea, it is just safer to swim with the dolphins and keep the sharks at bay.

I'm in agreeance with Tigercat with this one. This was eye-opening and intimidating for me too when I discovered the boards. It kept me away for a long time. If anything, I've tried to find the happy medium between being a post whore and staying out of the drama.

As far as the OP's question about the new wave in social media, it would have to be a LOT more private than this.

[Charlotte Carrington]

I find that most boards people want to make fun of the topic instead of posting their true feelings.. Everyone has an opinion, and we know what else most people have.

Funny thing is when I ran this same thread across the other boards, the DRAMA sites seem to think there is nothing wrong with the boards at all. They were happy with where they were.. in the midst of a cat fight, a hating storm, a volatile accusation.

Perception and perhaps weathering the storms and been there done that is what got us to the point of being where we are today. Just as adult act like adults, there will always be adults that never graduated from the "Mean Girls" and Obnoxious Jocks" that irritated us in high school.

I do consider a good debate more worthy of my time and acting like a Gentleman or a Lady is more appropriate for the type of clientele that I see.

[Lil Oral Annie]

Originally Posted by Cpalmson

I don't see a decline. People will use forums as they see fit. Personally, I don't give a shit about how or what I say. I will speak my mind. Besides, a person's board persona doesn't translate into the person's real personality. For someone to be judged by what they say in a forum is foolish. Real personality comes through on 1 to 1 communication. That is where you can tell someone's true character (unless of course they are completely pathological).

Cpalmson, I am liking you more and more.

I do think forums will be around as long as people use them. They've been around since the 80's, so that says a lot about them. The busy ones like this one will probably be around a very long time. There are other boards out there that just don't last... it's all about the number of members, people using it, and popularity/topic of the board.

[JDNorthface]

Originally Posted by Charlotte Carrington

...

I do consider a good debate more worthy of my time and acting like a Gentleman or a Lady is more appropriate for the type of clientele that I see.

Fortunately, spirited debate and civilized behavior aren't mutually exclusive. They are, however, on the endangered species list.

Great post.

[Charlotte Carrington]

Originally Posted by JDNorthface

Fortunately, spirited debate and civilized behavior aren't mutually exclusive. They are, however, on the endangered species list.

Great post.

Agreed Darling..

[sensualsanaa]

Very good question. In my opinion a forum is just another type of online social interaction. I don't think that it's a thing of the past per say, but they are evolving. 9 times out of 10 if I search for something on google, a forum post will populate in my results. I will say that even across this board, the type of response you'll get depends on where you post. Forums fill a very unique void in the cyberworld by allowing real people to share their real opinions. Of course you have the trolls, but with good there is always bad. I have noticed though that there are some people that I feel live vicariously through internet interactions and as stated before, use the internet to create a false persona allowing them to play a villain they would never be in real life. That's not something too relative to this board, or forums in particular it's universal over all mediums of online social interaction. By removing the face to face aspect of communication, politeness and general respect for others kind of deteriorates. A lot of people will hold their tongue in a face to face debate for fear of making a scene or stirring the pot, but when you're online you can say whatever you want however you want and it's as simple as deleting one profile and making another to put the BS behind you. I mean, you dont have to worry about a drink being thrown in your face if you tell a girl she's worthless online. All in all I think forums can be a great place to share information or communicate about a common hobby, but like with everything where there is up there must be a down.

[alluringava]

I don't think they're on the decline, but then, it depends on which boards you're talking about. There definitely DOES seem to be a lack of spirited debate on certain boards, and just a lack of intelligent, thought-provoking posts on some of them, particularly my local board where I live. It's dominated by a few mean-spirited people and no one really posts there for my local city anymore. It's sad. So that's why I come here to Eccie and a few other boards where it IS well-moderated, but there's still lively conversation and good questions/conversations going on

[Cpalmson]

Originally Posted by Tiffani Jameson

Let me get this straight:

So what you're saying is speaking your mind and not giving a shit about what you say and how you say is NOT a part of your real personality?

The ideals and viewpoints you have in your real life don't mirror the viewpoints you've expressed here, and this person is a lie?

And doesn't it seem more pathological to create a separate personality online just to be antagonistic, or honest about your feelings?

We all have the manners to meet someone in public, and make a great impression. And I have my favorite board villains as well. Whether I believe some part of themselves aren't alive in some of their postings, is left to be said.

Don't get me wrong, CP. I like you, and have never had any qualms about anything you've said, and I'm mostly speaking in general. But if you were a complete meany on the boards, I would have a hard time believing that you're REALLY (I mean a REAL, died in the wool) a nice person. We all harbor negative thoughts of some kind, and even they don't make you a bad person. In your real life, you may be shy and soft-spoken with a stuttering problem, and everyone could think you're the sweetest person on earth. But in a situation online when you could be nice, and you do the opposite, I can't help but believe someone is not only looking for a little attention but using the board as an outlet to say the negative things on their mind, and an opportunity the be one of the cool kids.

All I'm saying is that someone's board persona can be different than their true personality. Some people feel empowered to hide behind a board persona and say outlandish things. These are things that are completely out of line with their real personality. For example, someone may brag about this or that-- come across as very sociable or out-going. In fact this person is more quiet and reserved in person or in one to one communication. In the general sense, they put on a mask for the board community. While in 1 to 1 communication, they take their mask off b/c of the more intimate form of communication. Why? For several reasons. In a 1 on 1 situation, I think most people can sniff out the BS-- especially if there is a long history of communication. Additionally, 1 on 1 usually means their is some sort of relationship based on a certain level of trust/respect. Finally, in a one on one communication, there is much more intent for some type of interaction/give and take which most likely leads to some form a interpersonal transaction. That is what I meant about a truly pathological person. Usually, when two people are interpersonal with each other, they are true to their own personality. Only a pathological person would abuse an interpersonal transaction-- getting what he/she wants with no regard to the other person. Did I make myself clear? Hope so

As for myself, I try to be true to my real personality. There are times I might go over the top and use hyperbole while taking advantage of "hiding behind the keyboard". However, that is a rarity for me. I try to remain true to my personality. When it comes to real life personality and a personality on an escort board, I think we'd all agree that there has to be some type of muting our real life identity. While I try to remain true to my real personality in the forums, I'm also cognizant not to reveal too much information about myself. The more info one puts out, the easier it is for others with malicious intent to connect the dots. So, yeah, my forum/board persona is not necessarily the complete me, but underlying values are the same. Make sense?

[Guest030824]

cpalmson
You have spoken the truth as I see it. I find there is nothing I can add.