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roaringfork · 03-12-2016, 03:28 AM

My good buddy Nikki(not her real pseudonym) basically burned her bridges to the civilian segment of the economy when she mistakenly chose a cop as her first customer. For the past two decades she's been working the streets for a veritable Rainbow Coalition of brutal managers. Now she's in her fifties, her corns are killing her, and she just can't stand to look another smelly dick in the eye. The one bright spot in the picture would seem to be the fact that over the years she's managed to stash a little more than a hundred grand. What's the best use she could make of that money, if she wants to someday die at a ripe old age, and in a nice comfortable bed?

Randall Creed · 03-12-2016, 04:43 AM

But the maximum amount in the bank that she can put in without suspicion. Then, get a BS job, to 'legitimize' her slowly putting the rest in there. If she's American, somebody SHOLD hire her to do something. Get a job at Walmart or a fast food joint. Just have a real job.

wonk · 03-12-2016, 06:11 AM

So she has a record, that'll exclude her from a lot of licensed vocations, right?

Maybe research which trades you can learn if you have a record. Health aides, therapists, nursing / dental assistants, etc.

Heck why not go legit and get an RMT?

pmdelites · 03-12-2016, 12:19 PM

everbank.com is paying 1.6% on online savings accts for 6 months. lots of online banks paying 1% or so.

Bobster36 · 03-12-2016, 12:26 PM

can we pass a forbidden topic test?

RetiredHooktard · 03-12-2016, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wonk

So she has a record, that'll exclude her from a lot of licensed vocations, right?

Maybe research which trades you can learn if you have a record. Health aides, therapists, nursing / dental assistants, etc.

Heck why not go legit and get an RMT?

RMT is a licensed profession. The technical rule is that you have to be 5 years past conviction to be "considered". But mind you, they can still decline the application for licensing "at their discretion".

roaringfork · 03-13-2016, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobster36

can we pass a forbidden topic test?

No issues there. I think she's mainly concerned about the sensitive nature of the offense and of the work she's been doing for so many years, or the yawning void in her resume. Rather than just trading old Tyrone for an Arby's manager (and I frankly don't know which would be worse to work for), Nikki is of course looking ideally for the investment that would blow the game wide open (but then again, aren't we all).

Besides hearing it mentioned one time by a stripper who was training to be a schoolteacher, I actually saw this whole drawback to the profession (i.e., the troublesome shadow in one's personal and employment history) mentioned in an Internet posting called Javina's Prostitution FAQ. The author didn't go so far as to offer any solution, even though the problem obviously does get solved somehow, by those thousands of ladies who don't manage to save, oh, about a million dollars in the course of their career.

Well, from the deafening silence on the distaff side I suppose we may infer that I've stumbled here upon either one of the Top Trade Secrets or Ultimate Unpleasant Topics. (Or am I just the last poor schmuck who thinks you have to faithfully complete all the fields on that Arby's application....)

billw1032 · 03-13-2016, 01:05 PM

I would say the first thing she needs to do is get a RW job. Any job, to establish work history. Of course, if she has trouble standing on her feet all day that rules out some things like waitress. Maybe Walmart makes some accommodation for checkers. She needs work history more than she needs to look for the ideal job. She will need a certain number of quarters of work credit to qualify for Social Security when the time comes.

Most jobs are going to require a background check I would think, so she needs to find out how far back a background check goes. Maybe she should also get some legal advice on whether she can do something to clean up her record. Don't get fleeced by some high-priced lawyer who doesn't really help, but maybe check with some legal aid office or group.

Once she gets some work history she can network and try to move up to better jobs. Try to make friends with people at companies where they have jobs that can use her skills, whatever they may be. Networking is probably the best way to get into a better job. Most women can probably explain away a significant gap on the resume by saying they had a SO and took care of the house during that time. When she is established, begin slowly moving a portion of her savings into conservative investments. Don't buy into any get-rich-quick schemes, and beware of shady investment advisors who will take advantage and deplete her funds.

That's the best I can do. It's a pretty generic story, but I think if she takes it one step at a time and sticks with it that it can work.

texasmarine · 03-13-2016, 04:20 PM

Look into a deferred annuity for the bulk of her funds. That lets her put a sizable amount into an investment vehicle and defer from having to take any RMD from it for a few years. It will also allow her to select how the funds are invested...safe,moderate,aggre sive.

TM

dmcleod · 03-13-2016, 08:04 PM

Fwiw Warren Buffett is almost certain to win his bet with the hedge fund managers that an index fund would beat all their fancy hedge funds. http://www.cnbc.com/2016/02/16/warre...-fund-bet.html

LoveNHorny · 03-14-2016, 12:52 PM

OP,
Every Tom/Harry will give you his/her investment advice. I'll ratchet back a notch and give you the best advice you can give her, and it's concerning her mindset. She has to adopt the mindset that it's not her money....let it set in....it belongs to her future self. And the last thing she wants to do is take it from her older self. Don't Get Into The Money for anything, even emergencies.

In agreement with what others have already said, I offer the following things:
1. Go buy a cheap-cheap car, under her means, some old civic that won't breakdown. Keep full-coverage insurance on it and make perfect payments on it every month until it's paid off. This will jumpstart her credit. Maybe get some other advice on credit repair/building.
2. Pay for a lawyer to take a look at her record to see if anything can be done to repair it, in any responsible way. Find someone experienced and fair, hopefully a reference.
3. Keep a low-max credit card. Use it little, and pay it every month for credit building.
4. Go get that joe-job. The one she doesn't necessarily want, but needs to have stability.
5. Go invest the money somewhere - something low-risk, slow yield - and Leave The Money Alone! And don't let anyone know about it, and no man/husband/whatever.
6. Have a plan for health care, preferably offered from the employer.
7. Consider entering into therapy to work out any lingering issues, and to best transition to civvie life, so she doesn't screw it up if she can't handle the change.

But more than anything, she has to be committed to restraint, and living under her means, cheaply. If she can maintain this discipline, then she will have the nest-egg waiting for her when she gets old and needs it.

Later on,
LnH

Studio X · 03-14-2016, 04:00 PM

If I'm reading the post correctly her stash is in cash. This is very problematic, I know from experience, getting the cash to work for you. My advise would be to start a company that makes widgets to get the money back into the system. That's all I comfortable commenting on but happy to PM with here.