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Lana Warren · 06-25-2010, 07:22 PM

Well, had a "first" for me today and I'm really not sure how to take it!

This morning, I had a date arranged with an elderly gentleman who had called me numerous times in the past few days wanting to see me asap! After screening him, we set our date for this morning! He called me several times for directions and seemed very anxious to see me and I was thrilled! He called me right as he was pulling into the drive and I noticed that he seemed a little different than earlier on the phone! Once inside, he proceeded to tell me how guilty he felt on the way over and decided to back out on our date! See, he's been married for over 40 years and only hobbies once or twice a year! As he was nearing my place, he said he started to feel guilty on what he was about to do and just couldn't go through with it! To be totally honest, I was shocked! Believe me, I first thought that maybe he didn't like what he saw........was I too old or to fat? He assured me that it wasn't me at all! But the more I talked with him, I realized how sincere he was! I told him that I totally understood and that it was nice to have met him, but before he left, he did leave me a small donation in which I appreciated! After he left, I felt kinda empty......not sure why! Question to all, ever feel guilty?

Precision45 · 06-25-2010, 07:34 PM

Most of us do to some extent, especially when we have SO's, he just let his guard down more than most of us. Plenty of thoughts going through his head and you can't blame him for feeling guilty. He's probably the dedicated husband type in a marriage devoid of any physical contact and he's desperately looking for that affection he can't get in his real life. It's a terrible feeling, trust me.

sky_wire · 06-25-2010, 07:43 PM

Nobody likes rejection. Your feelings are perfectly normal.

However, next time show more cleavage. Your gorgeous pair of man magnets will cause his rock hard cock to quash his “guilt.”

fawn · 06-25-2010, 08:06 PM

Lana, this has happened to Max and I, we had a double scheduled and when he walked in he said he was having chest pains ....and he said I am sorry but I can't go through with this and he compensated us and left...sorry mine wasnt guilt related....

Girl It is a little hard for a 70 something year old to get rock hard.....

Sorry Lana, I couldn't resist...

but you know I love you....sista

cookie man · 06-25-2010, 09:00 PM

Lana you are very attractive and seem like a great choice for the gentlemen. I've had a few of my friends who have wanted to see a provider and back out at the last minute. I feel sorry for them. They want more out of their relationship and out of desperation schedule with a provider. Then they can't go through with it. In a small way I am proud of them for their devotion to their wives, but still feel their pain of no intimacy in their marriages.
Although I feel sorry for you in monies and time lost, I also feel for the client and his delima. The answer...don't call a provider unless you are prepared to go through with it.

Fiero · 06-25-2010, 09:08 PM

Perfectly normal feeling on his part and not something you should take as any reflection on you at all. I just think most guys feel it someplace else other than the driveway when they arrive...he sounds very sincere to me. Being men I think it's more common for us to feel guilty after seeing someone and we sort of keep it to ourselves.

st929 · 06-26-2010, 07:49 AM

I understand both of your feelings. Rejection regardless of the cause sucks. As to his feelings I get that way every time I go see a provider, which is why I mostly stick with massage providers. I do not get emotional touching from my spouse due to her mental illness, but I need that touch. It is a battle that starts from the time I decide to seek relief and make the phone call, through the drive and the beginning of the session. In one session the massage provider went past the L1 which she never does and I felt wonderful but will never ask her for that again because I know it wasnt her norm but its exactly those type of "accidents" that i need. Ok I need to hush and go back to my cave.

michaeljohnson1970 · 06-26-2010, 08:25 AM

It can happen to anyone Lana. So many things run through my head when I'm meeting a new provider or person. I'm sometimes nervous and anxious or sometimes at ease. It just depends on the situation. Sometimes a little guilt even kicks in when I think about the SO.
On the other hand, I have met a couple of girls that I haven't been attracted to or had no chemistry with and I let them know upfront before anything started. I'm always diplomatic about not hurting anyone's feelings and I've compensated them for the time.

TheGiftedOne · 06-26-2010, 08:40 AM

New guys to the hobby often go through this. Every gal in this biz will hit a first time client with a conscience. It is no reflection on you at all.

OFF · 06-26-2010, 08:57 AM

I will put a little bit of a twist on it by saying I rarely see the younger ladies because I feel like I am seeing one of my daughter's friends.

My fantasy has to include a sense of possibility that a friendship or relationship could occur and I can't make that mentally work with a really young provider.

Besides when they start telling me their problems, then I start counseling them and then they say, "I sound like their Dad".

That pretty much does it! Then, I feel like I am taking advantage of them.

OFF :-)

mmcqtx · 06-26-2010, 09:00 AM

Just tell him to bring the wife along and everyone can have a good time with no guilt.

Toolman54 · 06-26-2010, 09:58 AM

Lana:
Sounds to me like you handled this with compassion and that it's not your fault at all. For some guys, it's mind over matter: The Big Head has to be committed/involved or The Little Head has no interest ... no matter how hot/attractive the provider might be. It sounds like this gentlemen had second thoughts based on HIM, not YOU.
If you two had been in contact through Eccie PMs, I would send him a thank you note saying you understand; I'm sure he would appreciate it.

Fiero · 06-26-2010, 10:15 AM

Lots of good replies here...the only place I disagree some is that I don't feel you were rejected. Deciding you can't go through with something you really want to do doesn't mean you rejected the person/activity you chose not to experience. I love ice cream...on the few occasions I've decided I'm not going to feel good about myself if I have some and chosen not to...had nothing to do with my desire for ice cream. I agree that you handled it very compassionately both at the time and in your post here.

tsrv4me · 06-26-2010, 10:32 AM

Lana.... you wouldnt hurt any one intentionally I am sure ...I can see that happening to certain males ...I happen to be in that older catagory .maybe one of the oldest on this board ......but I do enjoy seeing several of you providers.Everyone has been terrific ( with exception of one )....who will remain nameless ..and Lana you know it is NOT you ....have a great dinner tonite .LOL ...T

Randy4Candy · 06-26-2010, 11:51 AM

Our minds are pretty powerful things. It didn't seem to me that you still felt that you were the cause of him not going through with the session, so that's all good. A certain amount of guilt about what one considers to be the "right" things isn't necessarily a bad thing. Most of us go ahead and do selfish things and deal with the pangs of remorse as best we can.