Introspective discussion about ourselves from within the hobby

[Guest041811-2]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

These points have come up - fairly often - on this board and on the ASPD HDH board beforehand. You will find quite a divergence among the denizens here. Effectively these two questions (really just mirrors of each other) boil down to "is it all about the money?" "is there anything beyond the money?".\

Rather than, "Is it all about the money?", I'm more interested in hearing the answer to "Why spend the money?" "Efficiency" and "convenience" are commonly used one-word answers. But what does that really mean? Why is P4P more convenient or efficient than "real-world" relationships?

I also frequently hear "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave after!" Is this widely held as true? Or is saying this just a reaffirmation of the fragile male ego after he has done something so socially unnacceptable as engage in P4P?

Just curious.

[charlestudor2005]

See below.

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

Rather than, "Is it all about the money?", I'm more interested in hearing the answer to "Why spend the money?" "Efficiency" and "convenience" are commonly used one-word answers. But what does that really mean? Why is P4P more convenient or efficient than "real-world" relationships?

I think "efficiency" and "convenience" are merely codewords for "time" (and other such things). IOW, a "real-world" relationship requires the investment of time...in some cases, lots of time. Why go that route if all you are interested in is a relaxing hour (or multi) with a sure thing? The real-world relationship isn't always a sure thing. As a matter of fact, it is normally NOT a sure thing.

I also frequently hear "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave after!" Is this widely held as true? Or is saying this just a reaffirmation of the fragile male ego after he has done something so socially unnacceptable as engage in P4P?

No, for me it is about the sex. A side benefit is being left alone until I make the next call.

Just curious.

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

Rather than, "Is it all about the money?", I'm more interested in hearing the answer to "Why spend the money?" "Efficiency" and "convenience" are commonly used one-word answers. But what does that really mean? Why is P4P more convenient or efficient than "real-world" relationships?

I also frequently hear "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave after!" Is this widely held as true? Or is saying this just a reaffirmation of the fragile male ego after he has done something so socially unnacceptable as engage in P4P?

Just curious.

I don't mean this in a condesending way, but convenience/efficiency? Pretty simple.

Pick up the phone, a little later a beautiful woman is on your doorstep. You ravish her for a couple of hours & she leaves.

Contrast that with the alternatives for even the most eligible of men: singles bars, Match.com, Church mixers, loitering in the park with your adorable puppy....followed by wining and dining....only to get her in the sack

Add to that, regardless of what many women say, they want more than a roll in the hay. There is a lot of wisdom in Charlie Sheen's words.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

Why is P4P more convenient or efficient than "real-world" relationships?

I also frequently hear "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave after!" Is this widely held as true? Or is saying this just a reaffirmation of the fragile male ego after he has done something so socially unnacceptable as engage in P4P?

The idea is that in P4P once a session is over there are no expectations on either side for anything else. There is no need to care for the other person's emotional needs or day-to-day needs like there is in a SO type of relationship. Whether that always translates to the reality of P4P is a question that has been debated often, but that is the theory of it.

[Guest041811-2]

Originally Posted by atlcomedy

I don't mean this in a condesending way, but convenience/efficiency? Pretty simple.

Pick up the phone, a little later a beautiful woman is on your doorstep. You ravish her for a couple of hours & she leaves.

Contrast that with the alternatives for even the most eligible of men: singles bars, Match.com, Church mixers, loitering in the park with your adorable puppy....followed by wining and dining....only to get her in the sack

Add to that, regardless of what many women say, they want more than a roll in the hay. There is a lot of wisdom in Charlie Sheen's words.

So it brings us back to the age old debate: Which would you rather spend, money or time? After thoroughly reading this thread, the fun of the chase (spending time) doesn't compare to the guarantee of a sure thing (spending money) for a lot of guys. Interesting!

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

So it brings us back to the age old debate: Which would you rather spend, money or time? After thoroughly reading this thread, the fun of the chase (spending time) doesn't compare to the guarantee of a sure thing (spending money) for a lot of guys. Interesting!

Which is a good thing for you, right? lol

[atlcomedy]

Originally Posted by KaraLynnKelley

So it brings us back to the age old debate: Which would you rather spend, money or time? After thoroughly reading this thread, the fun of the chase (spending time) doesn't compare to the guarantee of a sure thing (spending money) for a lot of guys. Interesting!

Reality is some people have more money than time.

Don't discount the thrill of the hunt/chase. Guys love it. For some it just isn't practical because they aren't available. Some of my married friends (when we are on the road) love to work the bar scene. They get off on knowing "they still got it."

And until you've been there, you can't appreciate the truth in the Charlie Sheen/paying them to leave/"after" part. It is time consuming and if you are a good guy and do care about other people's feelings leading them on to sleep with them isn't right. p4p fixes that.

[Guest041811-2]

Originally Posted by discreetgent

Which is a good thing for you, right? lol

And that's exactly what I meant by "interesting!"

[LAVixian]

I for one love p4p.... we can all have our fun and get the hell outta dodge! the fun of the chase is overrated anyways

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by boredinbingo

I'd be willing to accept that I might be over thinking it, but I think there are probably a lot more of us out there that underthink it. And I think that's a lot more dangerous.

If you read any of the political threads on here, you will see that there is very little risk that many people overthink their positions on this board. Underthinking seems to be the order of the day for most.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by TexTushHog

If you read any of the political threads on here, you will see that there is very little risk that many people overthink their positions on this board. Underthinking seems to be the order of the day for most.

You can't be serious.

[Rudyard K]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

You can't be serious.

No, I think, sadly, he is. And it explains the growing division in this country. Since the silent majority is now starting to rear its head, the liberal elite has to label them as baffoons. If you're not agree with his obvious wisdom...you must be a fool.

[discreetgent]

Originally Posted by Rudyard K

No, I think, sadly, he is. And it explains the growing division in this country. Since the silent majority is now starting to rear its head, the liberal elite has to label them as baffoons. If you're not agree with his obvious wisdom...you must be a fool.

Oh come now RK. Considering your thoughtful (if politically misguided posts ) I hope you don't really believe that the growing divisions in the country is solely the responsibility of one side or the other. There are "elites" on both sides of the political fence and both have done their share of damage to the body politic.

[Marcus Aurelius]

The only product of an elitist is an idea. And the only gauge of it's importance or worth is the accolades of other elitists.

[Guest053011]

And God forbid two opposing elitist groups have a war of ideas. It can last for generations and trample the best interest of the common man.

It's amazing what people will do to each other.