Quote:
Originally Posted by Ansley
It's not like there is a text book for this profession. She came here to a like minded community asking for advice. How is it unprofessional to seek a solution that works for both parties involved? Our world is very special,personal and intimate. An open mind and compassion are needed here, not an armchair psychologist.
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As far as i am concerned SHE did not come here asking for advice, her GF did? Which already shows how much she cannot handle the situation if this needs to be posted on an internet board. ANd her GF does so. So it must be an awful situation for the escort. Because usually i don`t think about my clients so much that a girlfriend needs to seek advice for me. Or is it her herself tlaking about herself in the third person. Asking for advice is a good thing. But if i am not ready to hear the answers then i probably should not ask.
I gave my answer. That client is not compassionate. He seems to be a jerk. Probably an abuser, if he still talks racist and does not mind offending people. I mean hell yeah, a racist IS an abuser. People who live in hierarchies of "better bigger faster more" (and of course think they themselves play in league A as opposed to league B and league C where they put other people into - classify in my book as ABUSERS) so finding consensual agreements with potential abusers is not possible. She will be a nervous wreck trying to bend over for that guy or talk to him. Guys like that need to be played with in the same way they play others. He is asking for being offended in my book - no - not asking, but begging on his knees for it. She does not have the qualities that cater to such guys. She gives in. So drop him. He is not good for her. He already started abusing her. Bigtime. And he knows. They all do.
Take a step back and see what suits you. Suiting a client and yourself is a tough street. Even in real relationships its a challenge, and there is mostly NO money involved. As long as a guy pays he qualifies as client. And it seems to me he does not search for a mutually consensual agreement, since SHE (correct me if i am wrong) told him repeatedly already she is offended? He does not listen? Then there is loves labours lost.
She must do something to make herself feel good. Since this guy is not her lover its fairly easy. Its much harder to drop a guy you love or who loves you for various and similar reasons.
WIth a client there are some things that make your life fairly easy. That is why i LOVE LOVE LOVE that job myself.
I love my clients and its an enterprise to travel with most of them . I just came home from 2 days in bratislava and had the time of my life. AND the guy paid me!
So - since i have already two boyfriends that trouble me some time (right now i have two and its hard to make them get arranged to each other in a primary and secondary relationship - so yes - i know a deal about compassion or not - some might not believe that :-)......)
But in a paid arrangement you should NEVER NEVER NEVER sell your soul.
so, my - compassionate advice: if a client brings you hardships - drop him. He starts trampling on your feet in the long run. A client should be fun! And he should be having fun as well. If he wants to offend, that falls in the SM department of psychological brainfuck which costs a few $$$$$$ extra in my book and is not catered upon in my services.
I already have a private life with the occasional brainfuck. And they don`t even pay me.. what a pooor poor me. yikes. so you see, i am stupid :-) and capable of calling myself that any day. How i love to kick my own ass :-). But i NEVER let a client EVER kick my ass! EVER. My friends - anytime.
So - i don`t need clients to complicate my life. Nor do they need me to complicate theirs. So - sometimes the best advice is to be honest - talk to the client HONESTLY without playing games. See how he reacts. If he doesn`t change, drop him. Even if you like him. Even if he pays good. Sometimes its not possible to cater to all people involved without making someone feel bad or abused. so no matter how you call it: mistress dom, shady agreements, abusive Geisha-dom - it comes down to the same: a guy who pays is a client. you can`t cater to his needs? He does not budge? Drop him. He will budge if you matter to him. If you don`t - well its a big big world and we are big big girls, other escorts probably cater to him in no time and are not offended. Searching solutions is a two way street.
my experience: the one who pays does not want to budge.
because if he wanted to - he would not pay. And she would be his GF.
Most people pay because they want something easy. And not constantly "offended" company. (That is what wives are for...;-)...) If he is a racist, either bring arguments that make him stop, or start insulting and offending him yourself. Or - drop him. I would do the last.
So - i am sometimes rude, because we are in a rude world and clients constantly try to step over our limits and try to sneak into our private lives. So an escort has to develop some kind of tough skin to be able to handle that. If she is offended, she should listen to her inner voice which already YELLS TO HER "STOP STOP STOP" i am overstepping my personal boundaries"
and not do that.
Escorts who constantly overstep boundaries to cater to clients do not do themselves a great job in the long run. Better loose a few $$$ and be happy then the other way round. This job is hard enough with all these intimacies. Strangers touching your body and such. So i really don`t need a client to fuck my brain too. Not worth it.
As i said - our private lives are complicated enough. Escorting is there to be plain and simple. If a guy gives you a headache, he most certainly is not worth it.
Truth is it is difficult to explain such a hybrid arrangement to others who have not been in one.
because you know they don`t talk so much. Its easier for me to move my hands stereotypically in a few directions than to listen to some of the ... i mean seriously.... I`d have to raise my rates in the neverending area if i wanted to be paid for listening 
(just kidding). and on top of all of it, i seem to be too stupid to entertain a mistress relationship, right? because mrs xy presented here is really the smarter geisha and knows a few skills about that job i seriously have to yet get acquainted with 
