Can one really love their spouse and hobby?

[rn5590]

Tough topic. Bottom line, love is different for everyone. What may be right for you, may not be right for some. It takes different strokes...

[Windinhishair]

How does one know that he isn't simply role playing as the pool man/plumber with his wife during lunch?

How does one know that his wife isn't a part time provider who only sees unmarried men between the hours of 12:00PM and 1:00PM?

There's a new twist eh?

[Barrymccockinner]

Originally Posted by Mizzou82

No, sorry for a dose of unvarnished truth here, but if you hobby and truly think you love your wife, you don't know what love is. I was married for 30 years and kept every vow I made. If she had done the same I wouldn't be here. I am absolutely sure I will never marry again, but if I ever fall in love again, no more hobby. Love is a lot of things and part of it is sacrifice.

What he said. There are a lot of people on this thread trying to justify why it's right or OK or hell, even downright pious for men to cheat, but bottom line is if you truly love someone, you put them above all else.

[beyondthere]

Originally Posted by Barrymccockinner

What he said. There are a lot of people on this thread trying to justify why it's right or OK or hell, even downright pious for men to cheat, but bottom line is if you truly love someone, you put them above all else.

+1

My favorite quote " I have always been a victim of my own bullshit"

[Prolongus]

Lotsa self-righteous people here...ironic considering they're BREAKING THE LAW and could GO TO JAIL for ILLEGALLY PAYING FOR SEX, not to mention putting the girl you're fucking at RISK FOR JAIL as well.

Some funny shit here...sometimes...

[Say What]

Originally Posted by Prolongus

Lotsa self-righteous people here...ironic considering they're BREAKING THE LAW and could GO TO JAIL for ILLEGALLY PAYING FOR SEX, not to mention putting the girl you're fucking at RISK FOR JAIL as well.

Some funny shit here...sometimes...

There are a lot of "handles" on here that have the "John Edwards Syndrome"

You remember John Edwards, right? He was the douchebag that got caught fucking his mistress while his cancer stricken wife laid in a hospital bed. He even convinced his buddy and buddy's wife to go along with the scheme that the baby was the buddy's. Went to the press with it and everything.

Now, I don't even have a problem with a presidential candidate getting his salad tossed on the campaign trail. Really...Bill Clinton's sexual escapades didn't even bother me. What got me was how these two shit streaks pretended to be so high and mighty...the moral high ground!

Lots of shit like that on ECCIE. A bunch of shit streaks ON A HOOKER BOARD talking about selfless love, unwavering commitment, and the moral degradation of our society. Give me a fucking break, please!

We are all here to fuck. Most of us want to fuck women that wouldn't give us the time of day in our real lives. Or, we want a piece of ass on the side that DOES NOT require the investment of our valuable time, an emotional connection, or an extended wooing period. We just want to fuck and get home to our families.

Totally just my opinion, but of course you can love your wife and hobby. It's just ass.

[TexasDave555]

Sure you can love one or many.... the human animal is capable of loving many people.

I think where it breaks down a bit is when one is cheating on the other, meaning no green light has been given. While the love may still be there and be real, that love is tarnished by the betrayal and lying that goes with along with the cheating. If your partner thinks they are in a faithful relationship when in fact they are not that is when you get into trouble. Still the person doing the cheating may think they love their partner, but I think for the most part the partner would not consider that love taking into account the lying and cheating.....

Guess the better question would be... If you are in the hobby and in fact cheating on your partner, would they still think you loved them. Some may, many would not.

So my summarized response to this is... it depends on how the partner being cheated on would feel about it. The person doing the cheating may love their partner... but their feelings are not the issue, its their partners that should dictate things.

[Windinhishair]

Considering the thread title "Can one really love their spouse and hobby?"

I don't think anyone should be too put off by anyone else's response as the thread topic itself invites strong differences of opinion.

If someone randomly jumped on the board and started slamming married mongers then I'd say hang em high because clearly he'd be a hypocritical idiot attacking the very bread and butter of the hobby.

This thread however invites the opinions (however extreme) of everyone regarding the subject matter.

I say let everyone voice their opinion and take it with a grain of salt as it was invited by the OP and is nothing more than a thread response.

Personally I think it's silly to get all moral on a fuck board of all places but that doesn't take away from the fact that the OP gave all posters the right to pose their opposing views.

I think this type of thread and it's responses is awesome and thought provoking. You guys are alright by me no matter what your stance on the subject matter.

[Ashphuckems01]

http://elitedaily.com/dating/differe...e-love/895385/

I think this is a pretty interesting article and I tend to agree... I think there is a huge difference between being "in love with" and "loving" someone... If you're truly in love with someone then you put that persons needs above yours... You can't imagine sharing your body with someone other than that person... ESPECIALLY if you in a committed relationship with someone... It's as simple as asking, "how would this make my wife/husband/gf/bf/SO feel... If you know it would hurt that person and you're truly in love with him or her then you would never give your body to someone else... The thought of them hurting really hurts you... When you're in love with someone then you're selfless and their happiness means more to you than your own...

With that said, I think that you can love someone and still hobby... I've truly experienced both...

[Chung Tran]

Originally Posted by TexasDave555

it depends on how the partner being cheated on would feel about it. The person doing the cheating may love their partner... but their feelings are not the issue, its their partners that should dictate things.

what if my Partner thinks I'm a Jackass?

should I bray like a Motherfucker because I let her dictate things?

[rexdutchman]

the last time I wanted sex with my partner she hollered at me that it was to early 800am ish !!!! its always to late early hot cold !!! that's why I hobby in a nutshell

[nicholas linnear]

I reckon I'll add one more cent....if we were to say that a high percentage of the men on this board are sex addicts (OH MY GOD!!) the question the OP posed could be asked of say...the wife or husband of an alcoholic/gambling/hoarding addict.

Does that spouse really love the other when they are feeding their addiction?

The simple answer is, in my opinion, yes love can be there.

Because of addiction though, the afflicted loves themself/what their addiction is feeding MORE than their spouse.


Specifically and speaking from my own experience, I think alot of married men whom are fucking on the side love the CONVENIENCE of being married more than the person they are married to. The fear of the UNKNOWN that lies in divorce/ life change is so great it's easier to stay married and cheat(with what seems like solid logical reasoning to the cheater) than do a truly loving thing for their partner and cut them free to eventually find someone that isn't a cheater.


To me it's a question of what does one love the most? Themself and their own feelings or the feelings of another?

But love is there....


Some interesting reading:
People of the Lie by M.Scott Peck....not to mention The Road Less Traveled with an entire chapter on The Myth of Love

[Windinhishair]

I wonder what the percentage is of mongers stating "Yes you can love your spouse and secretly hobby" who are currently married.
I'm guessing it's mostly to all.

I wonder what the percentage is of mongers stating "No you cannot love your spouse and secretly hobby" who are currently single.
I'm guessing it's mostly to all.

I'm just guessing of course.

It always comes down to walking in another man's shoes for a day. If only life were so black and white.

[Fawlty]

We've heard from single and married mongers. We've heard from providers. It would certainly be enlightening to hear from the wives - the ones who don't know, suspect or know that cheating is going on, or have given their husbands their blessings to hobby.

Fat chance of that happening. This has been a stimulating debate. Hopefully, if it continues it will be without self-righteousness masquerading as righteous indignation. A damn hooker board is not the venue for holier than thou polemics.

[Say What]

Originally Posted by Fawlty

A damn hooker board is not the venue for holier than thou polemics.

That's a quote-worthy statement right there.