YummyMarie: a place for her random ideas, thoughts, and musings

[jbravo_123]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

May 30, 2013

1. In love, is intensity or permanence more important to you? How much do you expect from someone who loves you?

2. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one ability or quality, what would it be?

1) Like everyone else, permanence. I think you'll find as the age of the poster gets older, that'll get more important.

What I expect? Reciprocation and honesty. Without those, there's no reason to stick around.

Originally Posted by tucson

May 30, 2013
2. Youth- I didn't realize it's value at the time.

How does that saying go? "Youth is wasted on the young"?

[Guest030824]

Youth is Gods joke on human kind. If it were reversed I could afford that Corvette and the women it would draw.

[Guest032117]

How much do you expect from someone who loves you?

I want it all...but most of all I want to be loved unconditionally in return, I need to know I am loved EXACTLY THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW, no more, no less.

[Uncle Han]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

How much do you expect from someone who loves you?

I want it all...but most of all I want to be loved unconditionally in return, I need to know I am loved EXACTLY THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW, no more, no less.

all love is conditional.

unconditional love is just another way to say obsession.

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

Tell us your last 2 good ideas.

I didn't say they were GOOD ideas, did I? LOL

1. Go through all the closets in the house and pull out stuff that doesn't fit...instead of buying more hangers!

2. Reading a book...ANY book...to be able to sit still long enough...awesomeness.

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

all love is conditional.

unconditional love is just another way to say obsession.

Now that just makes me sad. For all my faults in life, I know there are at least 3 miniature humans that love me unconditionally, and I them. Don't forget that you don't have to like someone or their actions to LOVE them. hmmm

[Guest030824]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

all love is conditional.

unconditional love is just another way to say obsession.

I disagree with the term obsession. Unconditional love to me implies no matter what else may occur the others love is constant. I was married nearly 50 years and I was an ass hole when I was young. She on the other hand had a problem with spending. Despite all of that there was love to over ride those things. I was in the Army 9 years and spent a great amount of time away but remained faithful as did she. In my civilian job I was on the road often and we still managed to hold are oaths sacred.

[Uncle Han]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

Now that just makes me sad. For all my faults in life, I know there are at least 3 miniature humans that love me unconditionally, and I them. Don't forget that you don't have to like someone or their actions to LOVE them. hmmm

Why is that sad? Is not giving and receiving between 2 human beings not a beautiful thing?

You do have to like someone to love them. You're confusing obsession with love.

The love of your children is dependent upon being a good mother to them. They will not love you if you didn't feed, cloth, clean, keep warn, show affection to, etc. Their love is dependent upon you doing your best for them.

Loving someone requires getting things we need and want. Giving love is conditional on getting love.

[Uncle Han]

Originally Posted by tucson

Unconditional love to me implies no matter what else may occur the others love is constant.

Unconditional love is conditioned upon receiving constant love? I rest my case.

[Guest032117]

Commercial break celebrating my obsession with...

[Guest030824]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

Unconditional love is conditioned upon receiving constant love? I rest my case.

Yes I agree with that but there are times when you get so pissed off that you really don't "like" the person laying next to you. But down deep the love is there. Unbridled love does not imply that one or the other is obsessed.

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

Why is that sad? Is not giving and receiving between 2 human beings not a beautiful thing?

You do have to like someone to love them. You're confusing obsession with love.

The love of your children is dependent upon being a good mother to them. They will not love you if you didn't feed, cloth, clean, keep warn, show affection to, etc. Their love is dependent upon you doing your best for them.

Loving someone requires getting things we need and want. Giving love is conditional on getting love.

I still disagree with you, but am still very glad you are sharing your thoughts with us.

Upon birth we are completely helpless and incapable of "showing affection/love," (in a technical sense I mean). We have nothing to offer the adult in return. But the adult, by default, still loves us, even when we constantly whine, poop, eat, keep them up at night, and drain them of their resources. In addition, consider the population of people who fall along the spectrum of autism. In extreme cases, they cannot function regularly, and even touching them can be painful sensory overload (so they can't successfully be hugged and return affections towards their caretakers). Even with all of this, love for them can still exist.

BTW, who said anything about children?

[Guest032117]

Originally Posted by Uncle Han

The love of your children is dependent upon being a good mother to them. They will not love you if you didn't feed, cloth, clean, keep warn, show affection to, etc. Their love is dependent upon you doing your best for them.

Loving someone requires getting things we need and want. Giving love is conditional on getting love.

I believe you are confusing love with trust. Erikson's stages of psychosocial development define what you are describing as the psychosocial acquisition of trust/mistrust during the first 2 years of life.

There are people whom I love in life who have never gained or earned my trust. But don't get me wrong, as it sure is nice when trust is there.

[Uncle Han]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

I
Upon birth we are completely helpless and incapable of "showing affection/love," (in a technical sense I mean). We have nothing to offer the adult in return.

Babies are capable of love and showing it. Their smiles and touch may have drool, but they show it. When your babies were born, did you doubt their love? Bonding is a 2 way street.

Babies give more to parents than parents give to babies. Babies are the continuation, the hope, the love, the future.

[Uncle Han]

Originally Posted by YummyMarie

I believe you are confusing love with trust. Erikson's stages of psychosocial development define what you are describing as the psychosocial acquisition of trust/mistrust during the first 2 years of life.

There are people whom I love in life who have never gained or earned my trust. But don't get me wrong, as it sure is nice when trust is there.

Trust is not a component of love? I think you are confusing being in love with loving to be in love. Obsession is not love. Love is never unhealthy. If what you think is love is unhealthy, then it's something else.