Question for everyone

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

ohh.. I gotta try that shit out one day..
my bad, what was this thread about again, I got lost..

[Dirtytinhtown]

Originally Posted by RebeccaRothko

I think the OP is full of shit, they are way too knowledgeable regarding other sites of this nature. They're dancing right on the line of airing the personal affairs of a member (they are a member/provider perhaps?) which is just wrong.

If you know a girl in "real life" you don't get to write reviews of your relationship and I question the seriousness/validity of your relationship.

The purpose of this thread was not to seek advice but to stir shit and cause stress for the provider in question, this is bullshit.

I understand how you feel regarding this, but I didn't ask for advice to "stir shit and cause stress". I was hoping that maybe a hobbyist could provide me some direction in what to do in this situation. Also, I was hoping that a provider would be willing to provide some insight, or a reference for a frame of mind that she might be in. While I have lurked here for quite a while, and I am familiar with some of the other sites that also would have information in this area, I didn't find any of this information until around the beginning of this year. I had heard that there were sites like this before, but I never had a need to look for them. Now, I have locked myself into a corner regarding my statements, as I have decided that it serves no purpose to reveal who I am talking about. I am deeply in love with this girl, even after deciding that I cannot possibly continue a relationship with her. Guessing by your summary that, "this is bullshit", I would guess that you have possibly been burned in this manner before. The more I think about everything, the more I realize that I was put in an unfortunate position by someone that I cared deeply about. Also, those that suggested I should have minded my own business, I didn't spend any time looking up information in this arena except when she was conveniently unavailable. And the real indicator that something was wrong in our relationship had nothing to do with her turning off her phone, or not talking with me for X amount of time. It was her constant accusations towards me that I was lying, hiding or betraying her. No matter the situation, it seemed that she would instantly turn towards that and 'use' it as a reason not to talk.

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by Dirtytinhtown

I understand how you feel regarding this, but I didn't ask for advice to "stir shit and cause stress". I was hoping that maybe a hobbyist could provide me some direction in what to do in this situation. Also, I was hoping that a provider would be willing to provide some insight, or a reference for a frame of mind that she might be in. While I have lurked here for quite a while, and I am familiar with some of the other sites that also would have information in this area, I didn't find any of this information until around the beginning of this year. I had heard that there were sites like this before, but I never had a need to look for them. Now, I have locked myself into a corner regarding my statements, as I have decided that it serves no purpose to reveal who I am talking about. I am deeply in love with this girl, even after deciding that I cannot possibly continue a relationship with her. Guessing by your summary that, "this is bullshit", I would guess that you have possibly been burned in this manner before. The more I think about everything, the more I realize that I was put in an unfortunate position by someone that I cared deeply about. Also, those that suggested I should have minded my own business, I didn't spend any time looking up information in this arena except when she was conveniently unavailable. And the real indicator that something was wrong in our relationship had nothing to do with her turning off her phone, or not talking with me for X amount of time. It was her constant accusations towards me that I was lying, hiding or betraying her. No matter the situation, it seemed that she would instantly turn towards that and 'use' it as a reason not to talk.

Someone has to be the adult here (... when I have to be the voice of reason... something is very wrong.. );

1. Regardless of how you came to be where you are ... you have to decide how you are going to deal with the situation. It may not be your fault ... but it is your problem.

2. You asked yourself what was going on with her and you found out. Just because you didn't like the answer doesn't mean you get a do over. You both professed you love each other. Unfortunately for you, that is not the issue. The issue is can you have a sustainable relationship in light of your new found knowledge with all the extra baggage. There's a line from "I Dreamed a Dream" in Les Misérables, " ... there are dreams that cannot be and storms we will not weather...". Can your relationship weather the storm or is it a dream that cannot be?

3. Coming to a board like this to ask for advice on a personal relationship sounds more like an appeal for empathy than a cry for help and only somewhat less obvious than asking Dr Phil on National Television.

4. Cowboy up ... figure out what you really want ... and do something about it.

I gotta go and pick up some more beer cans ... otherwise Rebecca Rothko will remain a dream that cannot be ...

[Dirtytinhtown]

Originally Posted by ThatManFromTexas

Someone has to be the adult here (... when I have to be the voice of reason... something is very wrong.. );

1. Regardless of how you came to be where you are ... you have to decide how you are going to deal with the situation. It may not be your fault ... but it is your problem.

2. You asked yourself what was going on with her and you found out. Just because you didn't like the answer doesn't mean you get a do over. You both professed you love each other. Unfortunately for you, that is not the issue. The issue is can you have a sustainable relationship in light of your new found knowledge with all the extra baggage. There's a line from "I Dreamed a Dream" in Les Misérables, " ... there are dreams that cannot be and storms we will not weather...". Can your relationship weather the storm or is it a dream that cannot be?

3. Coming to a board like this to ask for advice on a personal relationship sounds more like an appeal for empathy than a cry for help and only somewhat less obvious than asking Dr Phil on National Television.

4. Cowboy up ... figure out what you really want ... and do something about it.

I gotta go and pick up some more beer cans ... otherwise Rebecca Rothko will remain a dream that cannot be ...

1. I realized it was my problem when I asked my initial question.

2. I hate where you went with this, I already know that I have turned a stone that cannot be undone. And judging by her reaction, she still refuses to have an open and honest conversation regarding this. I would rather just say that this is too complicated a subject to touch, but it's been what I've been thinking about and struggling with all along.

3. I wasn't attempting to have a Jerry Springer moment, I thought that of all the people that could possibly understand what I was going through, this forum was my best option for an open conversation. I am sure that if I posed this question to any of my friends or family members, they would tell me to end the relationship without any consideration. I felt that the only people that would have an open mind to my situation, and could use their own experiences, would be best to discuss this with.

4. It's clear to me that the only person in this relationship that will have to change is me. Her actions have repeatedly shown me that she is unwilling to change. I've already decided that there is no way I can continue in a relationship with her, no matter how I feel about her.

And now I have to go and find out who Rebecca Rothko is. Thank you everyone for your input. No matter how fishy or suspect my question may appear, it was genuine and I have put a lot of effort into trying to decide what I should do.

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by Dirtytinhtown

1. I realized it was my problem when I asked my initial question.

2. I hate where you went with this, I already know that I have turned a stone that cannot be undone. And judging by her reaction, she still refuses to have an open and honest conversation regarding this. I would rather just say that this is too complicated a subject to touch, but it's been what I've been thinking about and struggling with all along.

3. I wasn't attempting to have a Jerry Springer moment, I thought that of all the people that could possibly understand what I was going through, this forum was my best option for an open conversation. I am sure that if I posed this question to any of my friends or family members, they would tell me to end the relationship without any consideration. I felt that the only people that would have an open mind to my situation, and could use their own experiences, would be best to discuss this with.

4. It's clear to me that the only person in this relationship that will have to change is me. Her actions have repeatedly shown me that she is unwilling to change. I've already decided that there is no way I can continue in a relationship with her, no matter how I feel about her.

And now I have to go and find out who Rebecca Rothko is. Thank you everyone for your input. No matter how fishy or suspect my question may appear, it was genuine and I have put a lot of effort into trying to decide what I should do.

In that case... you're right... it's time to move on.... but don't worry... like my daddy used to say... "There's ALWAYS another deal down the road"

Good Luck in your future endeavors!

[hornfreak]

Move on dude. Don't say anything and don't look back.[It's problably easier said than done] There are a lot of beautiful women out there.You'll be alright.

[MisterHx]

Robert De Niro says it best in Heat, "Allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk away from in 30 seconds flat, if you can spot the heat around the corner".

Words that have helped me in this hobby.