Question of "Race" and perception

[SpiceItUp]

Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin

Furthermore, what does being well-traveled and knowledgeable
about nationalities have to do with the actual premise here?

I can tell a Cambodian from a Japanese but I never hear either one say,
no I'm not Asian. Smh.

We get it, you don't want to be seen in the like with Black Americans.

Sounds like a personal issue. :/

[TemptationTammie]

I am not one of them, however the ladies that do have an NBA policy may see the ones that are respectful.
If you notice my signature, I've started the thread here in Austin which is a list of AA friendly providers. I know there are some ladies that don't want to be added to the list for fear of losing racist clients who are offended by interracial relations.

[rayg07]

Originally Posted by Risn2TheOccasion

I have always found it humorous when I read an ad posted by a Black Lady that reads somewhere in the content, "I love White Men". Why would you need to say that? Does that mean all other Black Ladies hate White Men? Is that supposed to somehow put me at ease for some reason? There is ignorance on all sides of this argument.

I think it means there are a lot of white dollars out there and they want a piece of the pie.

[rayg07]

Originally Posted by TemptationTammie

I am not one of them, however the ladies that do have an NBA policy may see the ones that are respectful.
If you notice my signature, I've started the thread here in Austin which is a list of AA friendly providers. I know there are some ladies that don't want to be added to the list for fear of losing racist clients who are offended by interracial relations.

Now we getting to the real truth. And these ladies sound like they understand their primary customers. It's all about business for them and I understand. No hard feelings.

I think the reality is that most of these "why NBA" threads are started by AA who may be relatively new to the hobby. It can be a shock to see all the ads with NBA and may make them feel like they are being rejected. But once they are in the hobby for awhile they will be able to make sense of why the women do this (and there are many reasons why). Hopefully as they mature in the hobby they will be able to focus on their own hobby experience and not focus too much on the NBA issue. And if they decide to pursue an "NBA" provider they will be able to approach the situation without so much emotion.

I'm glad you started the AA friendly thread Tammie. The one in Houston is great. I would recommend AA hobbyist check it out.

[TemptationTammie]

I started threads in Houston and also in Dallas in hopes of someone else taking them over since I only visit once in a while. I'm glad that someone else took the time to take over the one in Houston. And made some improvements from what I saw.

[hardbod55]

Originally Posted by Lena Duvall

I'm somewhat curious about the OP's opinions on the comments shared thus far. Maybe this was just a question about NBA/ No AA policies. Though, that was never explicitly mentioned in his initial post...

The NBA/No AA policy was not the crux of my questions. I really wanted to see how people, mostly providers since this is the environment, come to their conclusions. I wasn't surprised to see the easy, usual and stereotypical answers when it comes to this sensitive subject. I
was thrilled to see a lot of thoughtful insight as to how people of color are viewed solely on the color of their skin. I stand by the notion that everyone wants to be viewed as an individual period regardless of what "group" they belong to. One more thing, someone mentioned the Prez is Black even though his mother is White. Fair enough. How then is Mariah Carey typically viewed as?

[rayg07]

She is black because her father is black and because not many white girls named Mariah. She is respected but will never be considered white or not black. I understand you want to be viewed as an individual. So do I but you have to understand that some people here in the US are going to view you based on their own perceptions and there is nothing you can do to change that. Like I said earlier there are all shades of black folk here but we are black nonetheless.

[Little Monster]

Originally Posted by TemptationTammie

I am not one of them, however the ladies that do have an NBA policy may see the ones that are respectful.

So then why do we need a AA friendly thread???? If (according to you) providers that advertise NBA are still willing to see AA clients then why would we need that thread for. All 100% providers are AA friendly according to your logic? Looks to me like we just wanna show favoritism

[SA Angel]

There is a couple reasons for NBA policies that no one has mentioned. It's possible that the provider actually PREFERS black men but wants to make sure to keep her potential personal feelings out of the business. Or she has a SO (not necessarily a pimp) who only feels that the relationship is threatened if her client is black. The latter case is the most likely of the two....and no provider is going to admit it if that's the case for her. Even if her SO doesn't take a dime from her that fact that she has a boyfriend and that he's black instantly make her "pimped" in the hobby world.

Slightly off-topic but I personally know a "mixed" provider that advertises "mixed" because she never really connected with the black side of her culture. She was ostracized and bullied for being a "redbone" (her words) growing up and I get that. I know several girls in the RW with similar experiences and feelings towards their racial identity.

[Lena Duvall]

Excellent rebuttal, sir. The dude in question was likely thinking with his lower/little head when he articulated such an uncouth fabricated phone conversation. Which is not an excuse, but a possible reason...

Originally Posted by dodger

a person who was considering you, who may be put off by toyz .. is likely missing an opportunity to enjoy the company of a woman who can provide an excellent hobby visit. folks who spend any time 'researching' ladies on eccie will understand that you are intelligent and a highly skilled provider.

you have reviews on this site going back six years and all of them are 'yes'. researching providers as i do, though we have not met, i don't doubt your a beautiful, very intelligent, and highly skilled in the arts hobby guys enjoy.

toyz does seem to feel a compulsion to post .. often. sometimes his humor is effective, sometimes he misses. imo, his facetious posting of a fictional phone call to you was not funny. it was tasteless and inappropriate to disparage and denigrate you in this way.

i appreciate that this posting may qualify as the action of a white knight. so be it. in the spirit of full disclosure, we have not met but we have communicated, though not recently.

i enjoy the hobby community. i enjoy the hobby. i regret the lack of civility which seems all too evident in this forum. i feel the hobby community benefits from having a large, diverse membership. i'm disappointed when individuals and even groups of members are criticized because of personal bias as opposed to offending actions.



this is an unwarranted assumption and a poor excuse for your tasteless posting



friday is a day like any other. don't confuse disgust with anger ... your post was an embarrassment and offensive. you can attempt to refute and back peddle ... it is out there for folks and they can see how tasteless it is. you can now attack folks, like me, who are offended. indicate that we don't get it ... or you. but i do get ... i do understand ... i'm simply offended by it.

now i'll return my soap box to its rightful position .. and ms. austin, thank you for being here ... and offering the sort of quality sessions that so many men have enjoyed.

[Lena Duvall]

It's unsurprising that some would gather that it was. Though, I figured it was not.

Originally Posted by hardbod55

The NBA/No AA policy was not the crux of my questions. I really wanted to see how people, mostly providers since this is the environment, come to their conclusions. I wasn't surprised to see the easy, usual and stereotypical answers when it comes to this sensitive subject. I
was thrilled to see a lot of thoughtful insight as to how people of color are viewed solely on the color of their skin. I stand by the notion that everyone wants to be viewed as an individual period regardless of what "group" they belong to. One more thing, someone mentioned the Prez is Black even though his mother is White. Fair enough. How then is Mariah Carey typically viewed as?

And more food for thought..

Originally Posted by rayg07

She is black because her father is black and because not many white girls named Mariah. She is respected but will never be considered white or not black. I understand you want to be viewed as an individual. So do I but you have to understand that some people here in the US are going to view you based on their own perceptions and there is nothing you can do to change that. Like I said earlier there are all shades of black folk here but we are black nonetheless.

and...

Originally Posted by SA Angel

There is a couple reasons for NBA policies that no one has mentioned. It's possible that the provider actually PREFERS black men but wants to make sure to keep her potential personal feelings out of the business. Or she has a SO (not necessarily a pimp) who only feels that the relationship is threatened if her client is black. The latter case is the most likely of the two....and no provider is going to admit it if that's the case for her. Even if her SO doesn't take a dime from her that fact that she has a boyfriend and that he's black instantly make her "pimped" in the hobby world.

Slightly off-topic but I personally know a "mixed" provider that advertises "mixed" because she never really connected with the black side of her culture. She was ostracized and bullied for being a "redbone" (her words) growing up and I get that. I know several girls in the RW with similar experiences and feelings towards their racial identity.