Introspective discussion about ourselves from within the hobby

[Katy Alexander]

Originally Posted by pjorourke

Don't fall this this scam Becky -- you know which head he means.

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

And he needs to see a doctor.

Oh you guys are so cynical.I am sure WTF"s motives are pure.Plus with the new health care reform it can take a while to get a doctors appointment

[Marcus Aurelius]

Originally Posted by Becky

Oh you guys are so cynical.I am sure WTF"s motives are pure.Plus with the new health care reform it can take a while to get a doctors appointment

When a slider hangs over the plate you swing for the fence.

[Laurentius]

Please keep in mind that this is a thread -- not necessarily about our daily experiences in the hobby -- but about fears, doubts and concerns. At least, that was the OP's intent. Therefore, my posts in this thread, because of its specific context, will reflect that rather than my overall view.

Perhaps as we get to know each other better, you will discover I already know many of the things you think need to be pointed out to me. :-)

My own fears and doubts lie along the axis of concern about hurting someone. The REASON I have those fears and doubts is not because of media or stereotypes; but because I have personally encountered a provider who had been harmed by a previous client AND because over time a number of providers have told me, backchannel, things like "I have never had an orgasm with a hobbyist and never will."


I am not at all cynical with regard to my own hobbying. Overwhelmingly, I see women much like you who really defy cynicism and confirm by their very existence the benevolent universe premise. Basically, cynicism can't survive an encounter with such women.


But the fact that my own encounters defy cynicism doesn't mean they can be extrapolated to the hobby as a whole. If I were to extrapolate my experiences I would conclude that providers NEVER do NCNS (because it has never happened to me), every provider looks better in person than in her photos (always the case with me), and every provider has at least one advanced degree. And, of course, every single one of them is even more beautiful on the inside than then outside. That is what MY experiences are like. And that is reflected in the reviews I have written in some places.


However, I am smart enough to realize that while my experiences may define the hobby for ME, they represent only a pie-slice. After all, if my experiences defined the hobby overall; review sites simply would not exist. They wouldn't be needed. Yet they exist. Ergo, MY slice of the hobby – is not an accurate picture. It is only an accurate picture of my slice; however rosy that may be.


Likewise, your slice of the hobby is also only an accurate picture of your slice.


Now to be more specific. Again, you are largely telling me things I already know; but you'd have no way of knowing that because the context of this thread deals with fears and concerns.


“Can't one be highly sexual without being diagnosed with a mental disorder? This goes back to the idea that there's something wrong with highly sexual women.”


You are reading both too much and too little into this. My point is that any normal woman, highly sexual or otherwise, draws distinctions regarding her sexual partners. And I have blanket-classified providers as “normal” and put them in the 98% group. Meaning that I believe that there are men with whom providers want to have sex; and men with whom providers don't want to have sex. Being highly sexual has nothing to do with it; as you confirm. So don't try to put me into some sort of box as a stereotypical evil oppressor. LOL


ME: “Men are designed to find most women at least somewhat attractive. Women are designed to only find a few men attractive -- and which men they actually find attractive is a pretty complex situation.”


YOU: “This is so painfully stereotypical it's almost a cartoon caricature of the male sex. Why must men be presented as having low standards? It is true that there are individuals of both sexes that probably leave much wanting, but most people have some sort of personal pride and sense of self respect.”


I should have been more careful with my qualifiers. “ at least somewhat attractive” does not mean: “So hot I want to lay her.” It doesn't mean that men have zero discrimination in women with whom they will have sex. After all, I am incredibly discriminating and there are lots of women I might find “somewhat attractive” with whom I would never engage in sex for a variety of reasons.


On orgasms among providers. Yes, I am aware that providers experience orgasms with clients. And, by reading reviews if the hobbyists are being honest, some providers have as many as 70 orgasms in as little as half an hour.


Obviously, there is some room between the extremes of the (highly rated) provider who told me that she never has and never will have an orgasm with a hobbyist and a review claiming 70 orgasms in 30 minutes. Yes?


Again, let me point out that our slice of the hobby is not the whole hobby.


You must have read the many postings on various boards by providers describing hobbyists leaving skid marks on the sheets, hobbyists shorting the donation, providers counting the money in front of the hobbyist, hobbyists trying to slip condoms off while doing doggie, etc etc etc. I saw a recent thread somewhere where a provider objected to instant STD testing because she feared that if the test were negative (and absence of proof is not proof of absence) the ignorant hobbyist would insist on bareback.


I am sorry, but it really strains credulity for me to think that under circumstances where there is so little sense of safety and, frankly, such low regard of the client's character combined with such low regard for the woman's wellbeing, women are having orgasms where they need to be scraped off the ceiling.


Yes, I am sure that in one night stands; where there is by definition a sense of mutual physical attraction; women can have mind-blowing orgasms.


I'm sure you have lots of orgasms with hobbyists. And I'm sure I give providers lots of orgasms too. But there IS a comfort level present because I'm a repeater and the ladies I see never even touch – much less count – the envelope until I am gone. They know me, and they trust me – and for good reason. And I know and trust them, again for good reason. This creates an environment conducive to mutual enjoyment.



On the rest of this, we are so close together it's spooky. One of my very favorite providers says that she needs to spend some time with a hobbyist in order to learn what it is she loves about him. Actually, I am the same way – I can't just come in cold and enjoy sex with some woman I hardly know even if she's pretty. I have to learn and appreciate something else about her. Like my favorite provider, I have to discover what it is that I love about the provider.


But this IS one of the most wondrous aspects of the female, and in my opinion, the mark of a truly superb provider: “I find women often become attracted to a man's looks after falling for his spirit. ... Which means that he doesn't have to be a GQ model for me to be completely turned on by him, find him attractive and have a good time.”


Yes, I painted a grim picture. But you should construe that contextually to the point of the thread overall; rather than as representing my own personal slice of the hobby. My own personal slice of the hobby is filled with beautiful, intelligent, ethical and truly caring women with a joyful view of their sexuality that is absolutely infectious. But, then again, I'm picky. :-)

[Marcus Aurelius]

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ.

[terbul]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ.

Let me summarize.

Laurentius is saying his own experiences are only a“a pie-slice” and therefore not representative of the hobby. He has therefore made up a perspective of the hobby to explain it that is not based on his personal experience.
Which we should accept because his perspective is valid because his academic analysis is more valid than his, or others, actual experience.

I think.

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by terbul

Let me summarize.

Laurentius is saying his own experiences are only a“a pie-slice” and therefore not representative of the hobby. He has therefore made up a perspective of the hobby to explain it that is not based on his personal experience.
Which we should accept because his perspective is valid because his academic analysis is more valid than his, or others, actual experience.

I think.

I got a similar sense. You could be a translator lol

[Marcus Aurelius]

Yes yes I know but I'm too old for this..............

[Guest053011]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

Yes yes I know but I'm too old for this..............

Perhaps I'm too young for it, words just blur together, reminding me of a mountain man, isolated with thoughts.

Instead, I find myself distracted by thoughts of sneaking up on the sleeping muse, in our little private meadow. Angus Mac Og, and his thundering whisper.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Time. The ages. Is there another thought or words for magic?
There is nothing new under the sun. However the young nymph has much to learn and yet wants to explore without fear, and has much more to show. To impress. To share.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Don't forget Thor's oak. It was but a seedling before the people hung those that forgot their forefathers. Then the outsides came. With their new God.
Their magic was strong. But the old ways didn't die.

[Guest053011]

MMM poetic hijack.

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

Time. The ages. Is there another thought or words for magic?
There is nothing new under the sun. However the young nymph has much to learn and yet wants to explore without fear, and has much more to show. To impress. To share.

Magic - to miss one you have never met. To have one encounter, years ago squirreled away in a room with a stranger you'll only know for two hours, and never forget him. To fill your bookshelf with the antique precious pieces a friend grew up with, leaving them in your care as the sun sets on his life, keeping his soul hovering in your home. When each time you give into each other, the desire is more then ever before, all previous moments a prelude to the passion of the next.

The magic is the core spirit, eternal, unshakable. Immune to frivolity. It flows freely, we need only drink.

[boredinbingo]

Originally Posted by Marcus Aurelius

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ.

This response and those that followed is what bothers me - if you don't want to participate in a discussion about this stuff, then don't, but I think it's a crappy thing to do to insult people who are interested in it. I constantly hear providers and hobbyists purport to be intelligent, thoughtful people, but I rarely see that quality exercised in any useful way. To the contrary, it seems like the intellectually curious should be shunned.

I get that this is supposed to be fun, and that not everyone wants to "overthink it" but I think it's pretty damn disrespectful to disregard/make fun of somebody who is interested in something you're not. What is this, high school? If you don't understand what somebody says or aren't interested, you act like it must be stupid or devoid of meaning.

Laurentius actually seems to be one of approximately three people who got the intent of this thread. We all represent little pieces of the pie of the hobby and maybe some of us have questions, experiences, or assumptions we want to discuss with others because we can't with people in our daily lives. Maybe we want to know if our experiences are universal or not, or if somebody else has asked the same question. The whole point is to NOT make conclusions about the entire hobby based on our limited individual experiences - it's to see what common conclusions can be drawn from the collective experiences of others.

I have yet to understand what is exactly so wrong with that. Maybe this thread is in the wrong forum, but it doesn't mean it's worthy of outright derision or dismissal.

[Marcus Aurelius]

Yeah, I should have kept quiet.

[Katy Alexander]

It is nice to see that you guys are concerned about the well being of the women that you meet.There is nothing wrong with that at all. I just hope that you do not drive yourself crazy by over thinking things too much.It always seems like there has been two opposing ideas when it comes to this business.One is that woman who choose this life are simply victims of circumstances , and escorting is just another way to add on the abuse Of course the other is we are all full time brain surgeons who seek out escorting for fun , and adventure .I can imagine that the reality for most of us lies somewhere in between.

Because of the nature of what we do there may be victims of extreme poverty,and-or abuse in this business, but for the most part the majority of the women around here have made an informed decision to work.Just like with any job we have our good days, and our bad days. If you are good to the women that you meet then you will most likely end up being one of her good days.

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by terbul

Let me summarize.

Laurentius is saying his own experiences are only a“a pie-slice” and therefore not representative of the hobby. He has therefore made up a perspective of the hobby to explain it that is not based on his personal experience.
Which we should accept because his perspective is valid because his academic analysis is more valid than his, or others, actual experience.

I think.

No, that is not what I'm saying. I'm saying that the hobby is bigger than any one person's personal experience and includes things each would rather avoid. I hobby the way I do to avoid the things I find of concern.