Can Providers and Hobbyists be JUST FRIENDS?

[Luke Skywalker]

Providers are (wonderful) human beings...
Hobbyists are human beings.

Human beings sometimes become friends.

So. Yes. It is possible.

[Muscleup]

Originally Posted by EZ.

I went through this back in the ASPD days. Honestly, I would rather catch the clap ...you can cure that in three days.

2:00 AM in the morning and the phone rings, "are you sleeping"?
Got into a fight outside a strip club, "can you bail me out?"
Pimp shows up at the house looking for someone I've never heard of wanting to search the place. He didn't know how close he came to getting shot.
Text message, "you wouldn't believe how my life sucks" (that was recent) Who wants to respond to that?
I'm entertaining a new RW girlfriend. I'm busy cooking so she gets the door and it's two girls dressed like they just got off of Harry Hines.

Raise your hand if you get any of these calls:
I need money to pay my cell bill
I need money or I'm going to get evicted
I need money because my Mother is sick and I need to go out of state.
I need a ride.

This street is named "One Way". I moved, changed phones, dropped off of ASPD and quit going to the socials.

Understand most of these women don't want you trying to get close. I don't want drama in my life. Keep it strictly business.

;

I black list this shit immediately. If it occurs with a P411 member, I have Gena block them. I don't care how many times I've seen them. Good reason not to become "friends" with providers.

[TxTraveler]

Yes, forsure

[TxTraveler]

No. it CAN be both

[nicholas linnear]

There is a provider here in dallas that I really enjoyed seeing ( sex) and then we hung out a little outside. Coffee, dinner...not around a session either.
Some time went by and I texted her and asked if I could come see her for a session.
She said no, that we were friends now.
That kind of sums it up I reckon and shows a lot of character on her part....
We can be very "friendly" with one another yes, but my friends NEVER EVER CHARGE ME MONEY TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER.
We're talking about sex for cripes sake, not your doctor lawyer electrician grocer yoga teacher etc.....
Sex changes everything even when it's free....

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by Muscleup

I black list this shit immediately. If it occurs with a P411 member, I have Gena block them. I don't care how many times I've seen them. Good reason not to become "friends" with providers.

A fool is someone that doesn't benefit from their mistakes. I don't ask personal questions and don't give out personal information.

Don't get me wrong, I'm always nice. I have yet to have a provider that wouldn't see me the second time. This is strictly a business transaction, not eHarmony or Match.com. I don't have any drama in my life and it is important that I keep it that way.

[QueenSophie]

Yes, they can. IF you treat it as a "friendship" and not "friend w/benifit's".

BUT, if at some point sex happens, the hobbyist should ALWAYS be expected to take care of the provider UNLESS the provider chooses not to take payment AND that is discussed and agreed on BEFORE swapping DNA.

I have a few clients that over the years has turned into a real world best friend kinda thing where we can hang out, have drinks, chill w/my real world peeps and the real world peeps have not a clue we are "in the hobby"...

It can happen.

[dtx/tn]

Originally Posted by EZ.

I'm entertaining a new RW girlfriend. I'm busy cooking so she gets the door and it's two girls dressed like they just got off of Harry Hines. ;

Holy shit. How did this end up?

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by dtx/tn

Holy shit. How did this end up?

Usually, I'd cook dinner, we would have some wine and she would spend the night. This evening, I ate alone. She made it perfectly clear that she had no interest in seeing me again. To say she was livid would understate the situation.

Sadly, I had feelings for this girl. One of the main reasons why I moved was that I became alienated from that circle of friends, even the guys.

That was only the abridged version of the drama that transpired during that time. Trust me, there is much more. I will see strippers and pay for the room. They ain't coming home even though it drives the price up beyond what most escorts charge. I keep my personal life separate and don't try to get involved in theirs.

I will add that having several over and listening to the conversations, gave me a different perspective. Friendship is give and take. My experience, in these "friendships" is you give and they take.

[RideFreeInTexas]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Now that's I've read everyone's opinions I am going to post mine. I don't think it's possible because you can't really reveal who you truly are to a hobbyist. I made the mistake of doing this earlier in my career when I thought that since this one client was easy to talk to, we could be friends.

So let me get this straight, you tried it ONE TIME and it didn't work, therefore your conclusion is that it can never work with anyone. So by extension, if you go out on a date with a guy in the real world and it doesn't work out, then you declare you can never date again because it'll never work, right?

[porscheguy]

I have had several turn into friends, we would hang out, go out but unless they initiated the sex
and were upfront about just being horney and we were off the clock, I would always expect to
pay for their time.

[Guest110416]

To answer the OP question in post 1, IMO, the answer is NO for true, long lasting friendship. I think an acquaintance friendship, perhaps a little more, is much more attainable and will last longer. Trying to be true friends with a provider MIGHT work in the short term and you might even have some great times together, but as soon as the two worlds of real and hobby collide and the relationship starts to sour or hit a speed bump for one reason or another, it is a no win scenario for either party.


The guys who think they are truly friends with a provider need to stop and think, can I contact this true friend and invite her over for an all day hangout and cookout, then watch a movie in the late evening, no money exchanging hands and she readily accepts? Go to an outing, with no cash involved and she pays her own way? Guys who say they hang out with providers and go to dinner/drinks or out to a club: Is it dutch on the meals, drinks, ect. or are you paying 100%? Do you honestly believe that is a friendship if you pay while she free loads all the time? As a poster above stated, true friendship is generally 50/50 give and take and with a provider/hobbyist friendship, you give, they take, so only a fool would think that he is actually true friends with a provider, as it makes him that much gullible to be taken advantage of, and she will do it!

[dtx/tn]

Originally Posted by EZ.

Usually, I'd cook dinner, we would have some wine and she would spend the night. This evening, I ate alone. She made it perfectly clear that she had no interest in seeing me again. To say she was livid would understate the situation.

Sadly, I had feelings for this girl. One of the main reasons why I moved was that I became alienated from that circle of friends, even the guys.

That was only the abridged version of the drama that transpired during that time. Trust me, there is much more. I will see strippers and pay for the room. They ain't coming home even though it drives the price up beyond what most escorts charge. I keep my personal life separate and don't try to get involved in theirs.

I will add that having several over and listening to the conversations, gave me a different perspective. Friendship is give and take. My experience, in these "friendships" is you give and they take.

This is sufficiently scary to prevent any sort of hobby friendzoning - for both sides.

[Angel Ryder]

Originally Posted by RideFreeInTexas

So let me get this straight, you tried it ONE TIME and it didn't work, therefore your conclusion is that it can never work with anyone. So by extension, if you go out on a date with a guy in the real world and it doesn't work out, then you declare you can never date again because it'll never work, right?

This is different. Mixing business with pleasure. I can be friendly but I am not going to tell my most intimate details aboutmy life to a hobbyist. That one time it happened was enough to show me why it was not a good idea. The guy felt like I was no longer a good match for him as a provider based on intimate details he knew about me and my life outside of the hobby. And I decided after that I would not ever do that again. I also do not want to risk having any drama and as we know, sex brings a lot of drama as it is. Sex between friends complicates things even more and if you add a business transaction on top, well, that's just a recipe for disaster. Too much going on. I'd rather pick one and stick to it.

[DFW_Ladies_Man]

I say no because most people cannot respect boundaries. A.) I'm going to want sex at some point for free. B.) She going to want sex at some point and want to get paid. C) sex is her lifestyle and she has to make money. D.) sex is her lifestyle and you only want her to have it with you. E.) If it even gets to the level of anything outside of sex, you won't trust eachother.