Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevalier
If we had a term other than "Nice Guy" for these kinds of people, it wouldn't be as confusing. I suspect she uses it because many of the unassertive, hyper-insecure guys describe themselves as "Nice Guys" when they talk about the problem. But, again, it isn't courtesy and respect that makes someone a "Nice Guy" in the way she means.
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I like to use the term wuss or wussy. It carries a negative connotation so the distinction is not so confusing. A wuss is a doormat. He will bend over backwards and do just about anything a woman tells him to do. He is needy, insecure, clingy,
too available and will call you 3 times a day. He is constantly seeking approval from women and will buy flowers and go to expensive restaurants on first dates. Now, how many of you ladies would actually want to be with a man like this? These traits are such a turnoff that I wouldn't even want to be with a woman like this. Just like men want a challenge, women want the same thing.
It's not that women actually
want to be with a jerk. They are simply
attracted to the qualities and personality traits they possess -- the confidence, the ability to lead and take charge, the indifference. Like others have said, you don't have to be a jerk or an asshole to attract women. You need to take all the traits women find desirable in the jerks and combine them with your Nice Guy (
not wussy) personality traits (polite, courteous, respectful, well-mannered). Add in humor and you have the perfect man (at least for most women).
Let's take the following scenario:
There is a stunningly beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar, a 10 by most standards. 5 men make a pass at her. Physically, they are identical (i.e. there is nothing appearance-wise that puts one man ahead of another). 4 of them tell her how beautiful she is or give her some kind of compliment and buy her a drink. The other man tells her all the mirrors in her house must be broken because her shoes don't quite match the dress she's wearing, and flashes a smile or a wink to let her know he's just teasing her. He then tells her to buy
him a drink.
Which of these 5 men is she more inclined to be interested in? My guess is the guy that made fun of her shoes because:
A) he was different
B) he probably said something that no man has ever said to her before
and
C) the other 4 guys basically cut their balls off and handed them her
Okay, sorry for going on a tangent like that. It's just frustrating when I see people say that only abusive jerks can have success with women. Nice guys can attract women too. You just need to mold your personality a bit more to include the traits that are desirable to women. Now, if you told me wussies never have any success with women, I would agree with you 100%.
Of course, all of this is my opinion only. They are bits and pieces from what I have read and learned as well as experienced in my life as a bachelor.
