Getting turned down for a session.

[fryec]

Nope. This aint a "dating" site so i dont need to fix or change myself. I just move on to the next one and to the next if need be.

Peace

[Guest110416]

Originally Posted by wbtym6996

+1

how do you know how to fix a problem or an issue that maybe happening if you aren't told about it?

there are times when i have heard from providers, oh we just don't fit? or we aren't a good match? how is that possible since we have never met? bc of stuff other girls have said? if you believe any and every thing you hear/read i got some ocean front property in Arizona for sale.

If you know that you are a good person and you have never seen, spoke with or even had a PM from/to a provider, you inquire of her services wanting to possibly set up an appointment for a session and she denies your request, then she is going by hearsay rumors so the problem is not you, it is the provider and her shallow thinking.

As I said in post #40, you will have your haters and they will spread bullshit about you because of their agenda against you and if a provider believes that nonsense without doing her own research, like inquiring of providers you have seen and/or talking to you directly, then she is not worth it to begin with. It is her prerogative to give you a reason for denial, you can ask, not demand, but I doubt you will get the real truth if she decided to tell you anyway.

Do you really want to know her reason? sure you would like to know if you might have rubbed HER the wrong way by a post you made in the past or your opinion is different on the same subject, but all that will do is put you on the defensive, and drama would ensue. You just are not going to please everyone and nothing you say will convince her to see you so move on to the next provider on your list. Last time I looked, providers are in this business to gain repeat clientele and make money so just consider it her loss.

On a personal note, if I received $20 back after the session from all the providers who told me they were at least somewhat hesitant when they first saw me for an appointment due to what others said about me, especially other hobbyists and provider whom I have never seen for a BCD session, I would have enough money from this refunds to have an hour with a $300+/hr provider!

[wbtym6996]

Originally Posted by davidfree986

If you know that you are a good person and you have never seen, spoke with or even had a PM from/to a provider, you inquire of her services wanting to possibly set up an appointment for a session and she denies your request, then she is going by hearsay rumors so the problem is not you, it is the provider and her shallow thinking.

As I said in post #40, you will have your haters and they will spread bullshit about you because of their agenda against you and if a provider believes that nonsense without doing her own research, like inquiring of providers you have seen and/or talking to you directly, then she is not worth it to begin with.

Do you really want to know her reason? sure you would like to know if you might have rubbed HER the wrong way by a post you made in the past or your opinion is different on the same subject, but all that will do is put you on the defensive, and drama would ensue. You just are not going to please everyone, move on to the next provider on your list.

On a personal note, if I received $20 back after the session from all the providers who told me they were at least somewhat hesitant when they first saw me for an appointment due to what others said about me, especially other hobbyists and provider whom I have never seen for a BCD session, I would have enough money from this refunds to have an hour session with a $300+/hr provider!

not thats refreshing. ill take your advice and btw your tag line is priceless

[tdjones]

I don't need to know. It is more important that I am told you are cancelling then the reason. Nothing worse then hearing nothing right after you cleared your schedule, made up excuses to be out, and start driving and then nothing........

I have cancelled before, usually because something came up at work, and a provider never asked me for a reason. It just goes with territory. I have had very few cancellations because I see very few but I never ask why. We know so much more about you then you know about us and you never know when you could be opening a can of worms.

[Guest070818-1]

Originally Posted by Maggie_May

Thank you! What a refreshing point of view!
We as women/providers are taught to over-explain, to over-apologize.. To smooth things over.. To take on another persons baggage. It's not our place to make you feel ok. And to constantly try to make everyone feel ok is not healthy. And it's not good for your soul.
One last word:
Don't do anything for someone that they won't do for you.
Example: do I demand an explanation each time a hobbyist looks at my photos/rates/past posts/reviews and decide to pass? No, I do not.

Amen. You couldn't have said this one any better.

[oldbutstillgoing]

Originally Posted by Maggie_May

.....
Example: do I demand an explanation each time a hobbyist looks at my photos/rates/past posts/reviews and decide to pass? No, I do not.

In fairness, this is not apples to apples. You have no way of knowing if a guy passes on you unless he actually contacts you. On the other hand, the guy clearly does in this scenario.

As I said before, I would love to know if this happened to me. But, I see nothing to be gained for the provider by doing so. The down side is so big, I would never encourage a provide to give this kind of feedback. While it may be of concern on a personal level to know one cannot even pay a hooker to have sex with him, the best course of action, as others have said, is to just move on and forget about it.

As a side note, I would be interested to know how often this even happens ? As a % of contacts, how often do you ladies reject a possible client? 1%? 2%?

[Randall Creed]

Originally Posted by Maggie_May

Example: do I demand an explanation each time a hobbyist looks at my photos/rates/past posts/reviews and decide to pass? No, I do not.

If it means anything to you, you ARE on my to see list. Because we guys have so many choices on our 'lists' to see, we physically can't see all of you at once. Not only is it financially impossible, but literally PHYSICALLY impossible, so we have to 'pluck' from our list.

What determines who we, or at least I, select off that list is a myriad of things. Photos, proximity, urges, if you're touring, the timing (oh, she's in Baton Rouge right now and won't be near me until....), availability of hobby funds, work schedule, availability of other ladies on the list (well, she's closer to me than this one, who is also on my list), etc. Sometimes PM's are not answered when we may try to contact you.

I also weigh whether or not I think certain ladies would like me. There are certain ladies I want to see, but in the back of my head I think, 'Oh, she'll probably just shoot me down, so I won't ask.' Among other things.

The selection process is a real matrix.

[DFW_Ladies_Man]

Only time I deserve and explanation is if there is something in my history that got flagged during screening, or if I'm within an hour of the appointment. I'd like to know what it was that turned you away, and if its an honest reason; we might possibly reschedule. A lot of us guys are on a time crunch and have limited availability. I hate spending 2-3 days setting something up when I know I'm going to be free, picking a special lady, only to have her cancel on me or "oversleep, lose her phone or ________ fill in the blank; the day of the appointment. Now I'm scrambling with my 1hr window of opportunity. I think in that case I deserve at least a "my bad"

[Brot]

I do not really care. It opens up so many questions that I really do not want to be weighed down with. Just often enough the desire for money and pussy, just clears all obstacles and that is good enough for me.

[dallasfan]

I always assume she is a crazy bitch.

[The Proper Stranger]

I'd like to know why, but it isn't strictly necessary. It would be nice to have a chance to fix something if it's broken, or change things that can be changed. But a reason isn't owed, and I'm OK with not knowing why. The only thing I really do want out of a rejection is to know that I've been rejected (i.e. not given endless excuses hoping I'll go away or just not getting a response) so that I can get started looking for someone else. Giving a why, expressing the "no" in a kind way, platitudes, and other niceties are just the gravy.

[Sir Lancehernot]

No. I just figure she checked my references.

[xavierz21]

I just feel sorry for the guy who didn't get to spend time with Kaylee, she is a lot of fun! Seriously, if a provider does let one know he can't be seen because his refs k.o'ed or black booked him, much butt hurt would follow, and then he would want to know who spilled the beans and probably try to retaliate. Not worth the time or butt ache, just say sorry can't help you and let him move on to the next one. On the other hand, if it's something simple to fix, by telling him, you might just save the next lady he sees a headache. My .02 cents.

[Reverseheadstock]

I always assume the difficulty I am experiencing when attempting to enjoy time with a particular lady is my vocabulary. I seem to go through tribulations attempting to see some ladies simply because my premature exit from the educational process has rendered my diction inadequate. Or maybe I'm just a boob without smarts.

[doug_dfw]

Never been turned down in my career. Now ask me- how many no responses have you received. Plenty- take it as NO