providers - why the no indian men for some of you?

[Killeeninformer2]

Damn. The white guilt is running strong. Also this plays into what I've heard from some of my European friends: over here in the US we tend to racialize things even when it's not called for.

This isn't your average business/profession. When you refuse to sell someone a TV based on personal attributes people rightly say "Hey, what the fuck!" When the business involves a very personal act (and no matter you think about sex it doesn't get much more personal than inside your body)? Different ball game. And the girls can't exactly afford to err on the side of niceness when the risks are high and kowtowing to PC culture doesn't get them a lot of points other than maybe (maybe) a wider pool of clients.

In terms of preference... yeah with some women it's a preference thing but I assume most of them would prefer not to see fat or 'nerdy' guys either. In the few discussions I've had with girls on this topic it seems to be an issue of risk. It's also not racism, it's a culture problem. Just like how some providers refuse to see AA men due to the prevalence of thug culture (not to mention black pimps hoping to recruit) but would actually be happy to see an older, professional fellow who just happens to be black.

Like it or not negative traits for this business (haggling, pushiness, disrespect, and even out and out misogyny) are rampant in the 1st and 2nd generation Indians and Middle Eastern men. This doesn't have anything with their genetics it's culture. This also doesn't mean everyone in that group is going to act that way. I've never heard a bad word said about notimportant, for instance. OTOH I've hung out in bars and clubs where the girls had a standing policy to stay the fuck away from groups of Indian men (for good reason it turned out) and I personally know of three providers who were/claimed to have been raped by Indian men. One of which was a gang rape.

It sucks, yeah. But I can see why they do it. What I think is just as disturbing is that a provider deciding who she'll do business with, when the business involves her vagina, she can be accused of racism for exercising her preference.

[GingerLyn Harte]

This thread certainly did turn out differently than i expected
*pleasantly surprised*

[Killeeninformer2]

Originally Posted by GingerLyn Harte

This thread certainly did turn out differently than i expected
*pleasantly surprised*

I'm curious as to what you expected and if we did better or worse.

[Samcro84]

Really don't know how to respond to what Liz has posted. But an old saying comes to mind 'Keep your mouth closed and let them think you are a fool or open it and remove all doubt'.

But she has not responded to my question. Why am I racist just because my preference is not black ladies? She has no clue why or has asked why. Always remember when you point a finger there are three pointing back at you.

KI2 - based on your conversion does that make them racist? I call it preference.

So easy to label it racist when it is not.

Sam

[Cap'n Crunch]

Originally Posted by Bobave

Liz, you truly seem to enjoy your judgmental shit stirring

I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears, because you appear invested with a righteous and fervent privilege when it comes to attaching derogatory judgments and telling other people how they should fucking think, but... please cut that presumptuous and obnoxious shit out!

Wow, I cannot believe you could react so violently to what Liz wrote. The insults are completely unwarranted. She never called anyone a racist. But there is something called white privilege. And it is not intended to be an insult. Understanding what white privilege is can help you be a better person. (Unless, of course, you are already perfect.)

Do you deny there are racial biases in our society? Keep in mind, just because you have learned biases, doesn't make you racist.

I'm going to guess that you are white. Should I also guess that you think you don't ever discriminate? Are you at peace with your attitudes towards people of all races and religions?

If you saw a white cashier and a black cashier, is there ANYTHING inside of you that would make you gravitate towards the white cashier?

We should all (black, white, asian, latino, whatever) strive to treat each other with more respect and compassion. No-one is calling anyone racist for a white guy preferring not to see black providers. I prefer white providers and I personally am curious to delve into all the underlying reasons. Liz has merely opened up an honest discussion. It is doubtful any of us are perfect.

Reflecting instead of deflecting leads to progress.

[Still Looking]

Originally Posted by Bobave

Providers are free to see whomever they choose. Or not.
They are not required to explain or justify their reasons.
Period.

That doesn't change because some asshole disagrees with their decision. Living in a free country means not only that you are entitled to your POV, but that other people have the same right. That galls the hell out of you, I'm sure, but there it is like it or not.

Liz, you truly seem to enjoy your judgmental shit stirring (and your new butt buddy Cap'n whatever). but as strongly as you might feel on a subject, it isn't your right to tell others they should comply with your POV. They aren't your slaves and your opinion just doesn't matter when it comes to other people's life decisions.

Your calling people bigoted or racist - or other passive/aggressive attempts to influence/control other individuals' behavior is unseemly. It's God-damned OFFENSIVE is what it is...

I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears, because you appear invested with a righteous and fervent privilege when it comes to attaching derogatory judgments and telling other people how they should fucking think, but... please cut that presumptuous and obnoxious shit out!

Well said!

[Still Looking]

Funny how people always seem to want what they can't have!

[Bobave]

Originally Posted by Cap'n Crunch

I'm pretty sure that you are just trolling (I'm hoping nobody can actually be as stupid as you sound), but I will give the short version response to your comments.

Wow, I cannot believe you could react so violently to what Liz wrote.
Violence? I gave a strong response, but it's a struggle to see how you made the leap to "violence". Keep making empty claims, I'm sure it will enhance your credibility. /s

She never called anyone a racist.
Yeah, she did. She labeled pretty much anyone who disagrees with her POV on this subject a bigot and racist. In those words.

But there is something called white privilege. And it is not intended to be an insult. Understanding what white privilege is can help you be a better person. (Unless, of course, you are already perfect.)

Do you deny there are racial biases in our society? Keep in mind, just because you have learned biases, doesn't make you racist.

Blah, blah, blah. Sorry, not wasting any more brain cells on that drivel.

I'm going to guess that you are white.
Hmm, that didn't sound like stereotyping, did it? (yeah, it did)

Should I also guess that you think you don't ever discriminate?
You actually guessed correctly that time.

Are you at peace with your attitudes towards people of all races and religions?
I am.

If you saw a white cashier and a black cashier, is there ANYTHING inside of you that would make you gravitate towards the white cashier?
Nope. This scenario plays out on a daily basis, so I am certain my response is righteous.

No-one is calling anyone racist for a white guy preferring not to see black providers on this topic, have you?
You haven't read many of the (myriad) related threads on this topic, obviously.

Liz has merely opened up an honest discussion.
Nope, Liz has engaged in bomb-throwing, as is her want.

It is doubtful any of us are perfect. [edit of smart-ass reply]

Reflecting instead of deflecting leads to progress.
Pompous. Pretentious. Self-righteous and deluded. Those are some words that come to mind when I read your posts on ECCIE.

Reflect on that... I'm serious. If you actually believe the things you say, then you should be able/willing to do a little instrospection on your smug piousness.

[Killeeninformer2]

Whenever I hear someone bringing up 'white privilege' I keep wondering why it is that the people who scream against 'racism' the loudest are the quickest to make group and class judgments. Almost like projection, isn't it?

Also Cap'n based on your cashier example you seem to believe that (or are trying to redefine) privilege as something like in-group preference. Not remotely the same thing. And to be frank White Privilege theory has changed so much from it's 1970s origins (that started out pretty racist tbh) that it's now basically a just a second way to shut down the arguments of white people without making an actual argument. Or for those suffering from white guilt to virtue signal. Whichever.

[lizshue81]

Jeeez
Guess I hit a nerve

I tried to do the multiple quote thing but no dice so I'll try to respond without the actual quotes.

Sam- I thought I did address your question. I am not calling you a bigot and the definition of racism I understand essentially asserts that white people are racist as a result of benefitting from white privilege. It doesn't mean we have to actively make conscious choices that denigrate people of color. I'm not excluding myself. I am no bigot, however. I do not use the two terms synonymously. I'm sorry you are taking my comments so personally. I'm simply pointing out what studies have shown- people growing up and being socialized in society where white culture is the accepted norm develop internalized racial bias. It isn't intentional or conscious. We aren't bad people. So I guess maybe I'm asking more than telling- do you think your preference to avoid black providers has something to do with systemic racism?

Bobave- I'm not trying to push my POV on anyone, I just like discussing issues of race. I think it's interesting how strongly white people react when asked to consider their own contributions to systemic racism. But I don't judge people for being where they are and I didn't call anyone a bigot. I never said anyone who disagrees is a racist. I said white people are racist lol. But we don't have the same understanding or definition of racism so that comment was not well received. Shocker.

I'm not surprised at all by the way this thread has gone. We can barely be civil when discussing our underwear preference let alone a deeply controversial topic like racism. I think it's pretty cool this thread even happened on a board like this.

[russellevans]

I don't fuck with black or Asian. If that makes me racist I don't give a fuck. I love dat white and Latina pussy.

[lizshue81]

Originally Posted by russellevans

I don't fuck with black or Asian. If that makes me racist I don't give a fuck. I love dat white and Latina pussy.

Haha I like that you're honest at least!

[Kickrocks]

Originally Posted by lizshue81

Jeeez
Guess I hit a nerve

I tried to do the multiple quote thing but no dice so I'll try to respond without the actual quotes.

Sam- I thought I did address your question. I am not calling you a bigot and the definition of racism I understand essentially asserts that white people are racist as a result of benefitting from white privilege. It doesn't mean we have to actively make conscious choices that denigrate people of color. I'm not excluding myself. I am no bigot, however. I do not use the two terms synonymously. I'm sorry you are taking my comments so personally. I'm simply pointing out what studies have shown- people growing up and being socialized in society where white culture is the accepted norm develop internalized racial bias. It isn't intentional or conscious. We aren't bad people. So I guess maybe I'm asking more than telling- do you think your preference to avoid black providers has something to do with systemic racism?

Bobave- I'm not trying to push my POV on anyone, I just like discussing issues of race. I think it's interesting how strongly white people react when asked to consider their own contributions to systemic racism. But I don't judge people for being where they are and I didn't call anyone a bigot. I never said anyone who disagrees is a racist. I said white people are racist lol. But we don't have the same understanding or definition of racism so that comment was not well received. Shocker.

I'm not surprised at all by the way this thread has gone. We can barely be civil when discussing our underwear preference let alone a deeply controversial topic like racism. I think it's pretty cool this thread even happened on a board like this.

What is white privilege? And where do I get it? Cuz believe it or not every white person isn't given everything they need to succeed. Some or most of us work our asses off day in and day out to succeed.

Us being racist by nature because we are white is bullshit.

But hey, your becoming less racist every time you suck a black cock, according to your way of thinking ...

[lizshue81]

Originally Posted by Kickrocks

What is white privilege? And where do I get it? Cuz believe it or not every white person isn't given everything they need to succeed. Some or most of us work or asses off day in and day out to succeed.

Us being racist by nature because we are white is bullshit.

But hey, your becoming less racist every time you suck a black cock, according to your way of thinking ...

If sucking black cock was the key to undoing racism there'd be a whole lot less racist white bitches... AND white dudes for that matter.

It is bullshit, I agree.

[snaggletooth77]

Yeah, no Asian; "...don't want to F- an Asian girl..., ... Rice coming out of the puzzy and chit"...well, something to the effect of that, is what some dude said at school like in 8th grade