There is so much controversy at hand right now... I thought I would address this.... Outings, Screening, Informations, much much protestations made...
Is it truly a case of Safety versus confidentiality? I think it may be.
And it maybe a case of Safety trumps confidentiality... at least from my shoes....
Men (and Ladies) who have experienced this horrible trauma, if you have been outed, I am sincerely sorry this has happened to you.
Although it hasn't ever been done by my hands, you truly have my deepest sympathies.
I think the majority of us here understand the severity of having a "Real World" info being blasted anywhere near, on, within this HobbyWorld.... and that it can carry over into the "Real World," with
disastrous consequences.
It has been done; as carelessly done as an accidental in some instances, or as intentional with much malice- by anyone who simply does not respect the significance of the power they wield, with this information.
There are
many reasons why it is wrong, the least of them being a complete lack of respect for the victim (YES VICTIM) - and mostly an utter lack of respect for security on that person's behalf. Indeed, it has been done carelessly many times.
When Real World info's are bandied around, it is a person's very security, reputation, and possibly both their work and home life being threatened.
So let us suffice to say....
I do understand why some Gentlemen wouldn't want to share screening information further and I also understand why they would advise other men not to as well. I understand the reasoning.
Please understand, while I am sympathetic... It would make things a lot worse for providers. Surely as smart as you men are, you know of the variety of problematic issues there are in HobbyWorld, who complains of what..... sadly of whoever may be victimized in the hobbyworld, outing may be a lesser evil on a complete spectrum of the victimization occurring within HobbyWorld.
If hobbyists truly want providers who will meet anyone SANS ANY RW INFO;
Men wouldn't bother looking at the ladies on Eccie, as the majority of which SCREEN.
As they well should.... so now we have a huge conundrum over popular thought on Eccie...
While many are protesting the outings (and rightfully so!!!) via "real world info" being "thrown around"... it is still is not the worst of it... the
"negative consequences."
Do not turn a blind eye towards the realities of what a total lack of screening with these informations could enable and promote.
I'm not speaking of men with established reputations, reviews, okay's, etc... I mean for the newbie's.
Worried about getting outed?
Imagine worrying about being:
- MURDERED.
- Mutilated.
- Attacked.
- Assaulted.
- Robbed.
- Raped (Forcibly.)
- Stalked
Because you FAILED to screen properly.
As long as that ^List^Above^ happens to the women here;
We (providers) will ask for all the screening information we can voluntarily get to SCREEN, to prevent "Worse Case Scenarios" from happening. It isn't all about "outing" nor the "intent to out" when a lady asks for screening information. It is the exception; Not the rule. There are some bad apples in the providers, this is true. But guys, let's be honest, there's some bad apples lurking on "your side" as well.
I am finding it super callous all of the "inferences" that "a provider wants to be a #PottyMouth if she DARES to ask for info."
![Doh](https://cdn-w.eccie.net/images/smilies/modern/doh.gif)
If a "noob" wants to see me; Fair enough. But he WILL give up some information to see me. I ran one this week...
And shocker of all shockers, he had over 4 counts of assault on a female and an attempted rape among other scary charges (*forbidden topics* Yes, PLURAL.)
Would a "handle" from Eccie have been enough screening information to catch this? Hell no.
(And that is scary.)
There have been cases of men screened soley with a handle and providers being choked unconscious & left in a heap on a hotel floor... (Just search the Alert section!)
The consequences of NOT SCREENING PROPERLY are real;
No, it doesn't happen with every guy;
And for the record, I am far from saying all of you Hobbyists are bad guys;
Most, in my experience, have actually been pretty good guys!
![Smile](https://cdn-w.eccie.net/images/smilies/smile.gif)
However,
All it takes is that ONE ROTTEN APPLE to get his hands on you.
Ladies, you need to remember to screen for that rotten apple,
EVERY FREAKING TIME, the one time you do cave in to a man whining about sharing his info, or you decide to slack, or cave into pressure... may be the time you ultimately regret. Do not enable those rotten apples to get to you.
Ladies, stay safe out there. Don't listen to the cries of the overbearing.
Remember, safety trumps all.
Fellows: Do all the ladies a favor & And ease up.
Just a smidge?
I know that both parties within HobbyWorld need to protect themselves.
I know this.
But in the men's chant for a cease of giving of screening information (i.e. "Real World Info"- for noobs, this is their screening info!) there isn't a whisper of concern for the ladies and what consequences that they may face if they do not screen properly.
For me.... this is the elephant in the room.
So since no other lady is saying it...
I am.
I will not allow someone else's victimization and thought patterns afterwards (no amount of complaint from their paranoia after the fact) enable me to be affected or persuaded, to the point that I personally lower my security so that I in turn may be equally victimized. ![No](https://cdn-w.eccie.net/images/smilies/modern/no.gif)
I hope all of you ladies are smart enough and strong enough to stand by that conviction.
I'm sure this post will get flame broiled, skewered, minced, chopped, stabbed, sliced, diced... so on & so forth.... ![Hmmm](https://cdn-w.eccie.net/images/smilies/modern/hmmm.gif)
But since you all seem to "love to beat the horse past death" .... Ad infinitum...
Help yourselves.