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Old 05-17-2015, 04:58 AM   #46
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I'm the Trojan whorse.
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:45 AM   #47
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I'm the Trojan whorse.
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:24 AM   #48
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WELCOME to "DESPARATE DOWNS" First Anal Race For The Bucks!

Seems like the ADS that providers are allowed just don't cut it. So the providers find it necessary to get exposure by placing posts / threADS here in COED. Trying desperately to draw attention to themselves.

Let's introduce the horses....

1) ClairSheBlows (Whispers) 6/5
2) Scarell De Rossi (To Be Determined) 2/1
3) SueSalamiInHand (Fun2Come) 3/2
4) Hunter Grace (RockerRick) 4/1
5) EbonyJasmineLoveAustin (Dante0233) 6/1
6)TattooedAsianKim(TS?) (Observing) 99/1
7) Shayla (FoxNews) 4/1
8) Miss Valentina (Still Looking) 6/5
9) SexiLexi333 (Sixxbach) 199/1


Some interesting things to note. FUN2COME riding SueSalamiInHand does not use a whip. He uses a rubber dildo that looks like a long PolskaKielbasa. We've posted the ODDS and the riders. You will note that some of these horses have weight restrictions but we took off all weight limits. TattooedAsianKim the multicolored horse came all the way from NYC to compete. Shayla made the short trip from Kansas and of course EbonyJasmineLoveAustin just wandered over from the East Side of Congress. Hunter Grace was lucky to get RockerRick as her jockey. As you all know she has been racing so long her first two jockeys died. The odds on favorites being ClaireSheBlows being ridden by veteran rider that needs to introduction. Whispers The Hobby God. And Miss Valintina being ridden by Still Looking. I'm sure you have heard that both Whispers & Still Looking are very successful they have totally different riding styles. Yes... Whispers whips , tazer and will even club his horse till success is achieved. While SL doesn't even carry a whip. He carries a brief case filled with money and he uses a stick to dangle it out in front of his horse. Keep an eyes on those two.




And they are off.... ClaireSheBlows jumps out and takes the early lead with Scarlett De Rossie right behind her. Followed by SueSalamiInHand. Hunter Grace and EbonyJasmineLoveAustin stayed in the gate for a second in their stare down till they realized the gate was open. Shayla, SexiLexi333 and Miss Valintina come across from the outside. TattooedAsianKim is still trying to get he new Bikini saddle to fit and has yet to leave the gate. They are all approaching the first turn and ClaireSheBlows has the lead but has white fluid coming out of her nose in 7 seconds. That not a good sign.

Stay Tuned....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still Looking View Post
Coming around the first corner ClaireSheBlows drops off the pace. Scarlett De Rossi slows and stats waving to the crowd. No worries she comes and goes all part of her racing strategy. EbonyJasmineLoveAustin charges out front! SueSalamiInHand moves up next to her with Fun2Come sliding his Bavarian roasted Nuts up and down the saddle. Whispers realizes he is in trouble tosses his banana cream pie off to the side and Hunter Grace veers off to the right and starts eating it. Shayla and Miss Valintina bump asses and both think they were fouled by SexiLexi333. TattooedAsianKim is now out the gate doing a fast belly crawl. Heading to the second turn....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still Looking View Post
Coming out of the second turn... Hunter Grace finishes eating the pie as RockerRick whips the shit out of her screaming at Whispers "foul", "foul". Hunter being an old chubby horse hardly reacts to the whipping but finally joins the race. EbonyJasmineLove Austin drops off the pace as Dante0233 hangs off of her back side trying to get a taint photo with his cell phone. SueSalamiInHand with Fun2Come charge up and take the lead with his long rubber dildo that looks like a long PolskaKielbasa dangling off to the right. Suddenly he attaches the dildo to the saddle and pulls down his little jockey pants down and with no lube mounts up. CHARGING Fun2Come goes stride for stride with SueSalamiInHand. Scarlett De Rossi right behind her. Then Behind her is Miss Valintina with SL holding the brief case out in front of her. Shayla thinks the brief case is filled with cream puffs so is running neck and neck as Fox news has a confused look on his face like when Brittanyy came back to wax his ass during her last visit. TattooedAsianKim starts running but she is 100 lengths off the lead and for some reason Observing is riding side saddle. The starting gate was removed and there sits SexiLexie333. That is the most pissed off horse I've ever seen. Sixxbach is drinking his second beer and the other four are hanging from the saddle horn. Well that explains the 199 /1 odds I guess. Heading into the third turn....
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still Looking View Post
Moving towards the fourth turn its SueSalamiInHand with Fun2Come riding the Polska Kielbasa. EbonyJasmineLoveAustin charges up. Scarlett De Rossi next to her on the outside. Behind those four tucked in along the rail is Miss Valentina and ClaireSheBlows. Behind those two its Hunter Grace and Shayla running neck and neck. TattooedAsianKim 50 lengths off the lead. SexiLexi333 has moved over to the rail and someone brought Sixx some nachos. He has two beers left.

The exciting finish tomorrow.... while you wait please enjoy a replay of the OIO Choir "Tribute To Whispers".
Coming around the forth turn Sixx holds up his last beer as the horses go by. SueSalamiInHand, EbonyjasmineLoveAustin and Scarelett De Rossie neck and neck three across as Fun2Come pulls the rubber Polska Kielbasa from his back side. He starts flinging it hitting both EBJA and SDR on the head. They all veer off to the outside of the track. Miss Valentina and Shayla are joined by Hunter Grace. Still Looking opens the brief case and it’s filled with Troll Dolls that spring out and startles the other two horses and they pull back. RockerRick flies off Hunter Grace knocking Fox News off of Shayla. ClaireSheBlows pulls up to challenge Miss Valentina. Both horses charging at full speed sweating like there’s no tomorrow. Suddenly Miss Valentina’s hair starts shedding its red dye. Turns out she is an old gray nag. Whispers can’t help but notice and laughs his ass off as he moves to the outside when he runs into SexiLexi333 knocking Sixxback off. Sixx stands up shows the crowd he still had his beer and gets a standing ovation. Miss Valintina got distracted and out of no ware comes TattooedAsianKen flying down the straight away. Miss Valintena gives chase and here they come… its Miss Valentina the gray nag and TattooAsianKen and it’s too close to call. Hold all tickets. It’s a photo finish.
The winner by a nose piecing is TattooedAsianKen! 99 /1
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:30 AM   #49
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07KuQcnu71c

But I applaud your weirdness
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Old 05-17-2015, 07:46 AM   #50
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Yes BugleBoy... because everything in this thread, though outlandish, is actually happening.

Ha Ha. I am just a little butt hurt that SL didn't include me; however, by design, I don't often rise to the level of controversy that do others on eccie, so I understand why I was omitted. But including F2C, come on now SL, he's just a bag of Bavarian Nuts, "ass-king" to be roasted.

For the next race, I would be happy to sound the trumpet fan-fair to call the riders and their mounts to the starting gate...

Never mind, I just needed to post something this AM to get Post Number 3,700 on the board.

At Ease and Carry On with your fun, I will be in the area and enjoying all day long.
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Old 05-17-2015, 08:40 AM   #51
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Ha Ha. I am just a little butt hurt that SL didn't include me; however, by design, I don't often rise to the level of controversy that do others on eccie, so I understand why I was omitted. But including F2C, come on now SL, he's just a bag of Bavarian Nuts, "ass-king" to be roasted.

For the next race, I would be happy to sound the trumpet fan-fair to call the riders and their mounts to the starting gate...

Never mind, I just needed to post something this AM to get Post Number 3,700 on the board.

At Ease and Carry On with your fun, I will be in the area and enjoying all day long.
That would have been a great idea for you to blow in the horses!

While the 3700 posts is admirable it looks like you are on the down hill side of 100 reviews. 3-4 weeks???

TattooedAsianKen... who would have thunk it?
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Old 05-17-2015, 12:02 PM   #52
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That would have been a great idea for you to blow in the horses!

I have seen a couple of these fillies and they have already been well blown by yours truly, plus they give a great ride from many perpectives.


While the 3700 posts is admirable it looks like you are on the down hill side of 100 reviews. 3-4 weeks???

I will never catch up to you in either department, but not really trying to do that. I just happened to notice the post count this AM, don't really dwell on it. WRT to less than 100 reviews, there would be more but lately I have been hanging with an UTR crowd of ladies who neither desire nor welcome reviews

So my session activity remains at a high level but a rapid increase in review counts is not in the cards. I have not been too concerned about counts as I am being well taken care of by several quality eccie ladies who we mostly never see post on Coed.



TattooedAsianKen... who would have thunk it?

TAK is a new comer to the recent Coed scene but she does bring a lot of color and flash to the race. Orange and Yellow--go figure.
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Old 05-17-2015, 01:25 PM   #53
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But you sure can shake your ass..... or are your reviews wrong?
Like. A. Red. Nose.
Please someone translate. rr is banned.

I was wondering who'd be the next recipient of one of your back-handed compliments; an honor SL.

Maybe I can have one of my white knights give me MLR and ROS access so I can see what your talking about. Oh wait, that's right, I really don't care.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Still Looking View Post

TattooedAsianKen... who would have thunk it?
This is some BULLskit!
I'll let you make it TAK.


... THIS TIME!
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Old 05-17-2015, 02:29 PM   #54
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smh SL, you must be really board lol
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Old 05-17-2015, 05:23 PM   #55
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin View Post
Like. A. Red. Nose.
Please someone translate. rr is banned.

I was wondering who'd be the next recipient of one of your back-handed compliments; an honor SL.

Maybe I can have one of my white knights give me MLR and ROS access so I can see what your talking about. Oh wait, that's right, I really don't care.



This is some BULLskit!
I'll let you make it TAK.


... THIS TIME!
You only cared enough to respond....
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:27 PM   #56
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smh SL, you must be really board lol
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:28 PM   #57
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You only cared enough to respond....
She's a fan just doesn't like admitting it!
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Old 05-17-2015, 06:33 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebony Jasmine Love Austin View Post
Like. A. Red. Nose.
Please someone translate. rr is banned.

I was wondering who'd be the next recipient of one of your back-handed compliments; an honor SL.

Maybe I can have one of my white knights give me MLR and ROS access so I can see what your talking about. Oh wait, that's right, I really don't care.

This is some BULLskit!
I'll let you make it TAK.

... THIS TIME!
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Old 05-17-2015, 10:28 PM   #59
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Old 05-18-2015, 12:12 PM   #60
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I would like to challenge the results and have all the horses and riders tested for use of ubauthorized substances please.
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