Rude comments on ERs in private tags

[seductrix4u]

Originally Posted by BigDeal

Someone's cheese has done slipped off her pizza!!

Im sure it will get better as the mods work thru this mess started by this troubled individual.

#21 - ECCIE Staff will go to great lengths to avoid editing, deleting, or censoring our members posts or threads...unless absolutely necessary. Forbidden topics such as underage sex, illicit drugs, bestiality, revealing personal info, medical speculation, or images not in compliance will be removed from public view. Controversial, troublesome, or objectionable posts may draw staff attention or in some cases disciplinary action, but the offending post will not be removed from the view of our membership in any but the most extreme cases. Often times you will find directions, footnotes, or other guidance from staff edited INTO posts which draw our attention. These are for the purpose of educating the readers of what is and what is not acceptable as well as informing others about how these issues have been dealt with. Members are encouraged to RTM posts which include rule infractions or objectionable material if it appears that staff has not already becomed involved with the thread or post in particular.

[seductrix4u]

Originally Posted by B Three

Just a general note.

Just because someone says something that offends me, does not mean that it is actually an insult. Sometimes it is a difference of opinion. Sometimes it is true, I just don't like it. Sometimes it is a poor choice of words.

Comments like "if you don't have something nice to say..." are not actually indicative of an insulting comment" e.g., Her teeth are very crooked and yellow; She is heavier than her pics; As opposed to Her teeth are completely jacked up and nasty; She's a fat freaking cow and lies about it.


None of the statements above are particularly "nice" but the last two are insults and the first two are opinions.

Hi ma'am, I understand the difference between someone being descriptive and someone being rude.

Is calling a companion a HBIC, multiple times, considered an opinion or an insult?

Is slandering a companion by lying and saying she runs a stable/posse, multiple times, an opinion or an insult?

Is there really a defense for this type of behavior?

Thank you.

[Zippo65]

Hmmmm weird how this individuals mind is working overtime here!!
Smdh


Someone's cheese has done slipped off her pizza!!

Soooo it appears to me and many others, btw i appreciate the many pm's of support from the fine ladies and men here during these troubling times on the board...Im sure it will get better as the mods work thru this mess started by this troubled individual.

https://eccie.net/showthread.php?t=2543924&highlight=

[Guest083119]

When I say "Just a General Note" I mean it. And if people chose to feel like I am targeting them...that is on THEM not on me. I made no assessment of any specific comments. I am here to make general statements that guide people. When people get infractions, it is done privately. When I am referring to specific statements, then I usually quote them.

[Guest083119]

Originally Posted by seductrix4u

#21 - ECCIE Staff will go to great lengths to avoid editing, deleting, or censoring our members posts or threads...unless absolutely necessary. Forbidden topics such as underage sex, illicit drugs, bestiality, revealing personal info, medical speculation, or images not in compliance will be removed from public view. Controversial, troublesome, or objectionable posts may draw staff attention or in some cases disciplinary action, but the offending post will not be removed from the view of our membership in any but the most extreme cases. Often times you will find directions, footnotes, or other guidance from staff edited INTO posts which draw our attention. These are for the purpose of educating the readers of what is and what is not acceptable as well as informing others about how these issues have been dealt with. Members are encouraged to RTM posts which include rule infractions or objectionable material if it appears that staff has not already becomed involved with the thread or post in particular.

FYI...I'm quoting, so this is directed at you...

If this is what you think deserves an infraction for Medical Speculation, then I will use this as a teaching moment for everyone. This is not Medical Speculation. You are not a pizza, nor do you have cheese. "Troubled" is not a medical diagnosis. It is an opinion and he is allowed to have them. It is not even an insult. Aren't we all troubled in some way?

If these are the things you are counting up in your head and wondering why people are not banned...well, now I understand your confusion.

And yes, you are more than welcome to feel offended.

[Guest083119]

One of my other pet peeves...

Slander is spoken.

Libel is written.

It is impossible for anyone to Slander someone Eccie.

Definitions and technicalities matter. A house of Ill Repute, by legal definition is a house used for prostitution.

HBIC is an acronym, not a definition.

Candice (I AM ADDRESSING YOU) - there were probably 100 people in the world that knew what that original review was ALLEGEDLY referring to. You were the one who assumed it was all directed at you (I agree, btw) but only a tiny fraction knew who he was allegedly talking about until you took it upon yourself to claim it.

If I say "There is a hooker here who is a LPMOW and I can't stand her." Should I give points to myself because some Loud Potting Mouth Outing Whore RTMs it?"

[Unique_Carpenter]

Thank you, B Three

For what it's worth:

Originally Posted by seductrix4u

Is calling a companion a HBIC....

Once upon a time a ago in my past, a Catholic School "Head Sister in Charge" was called HBIC continuously over several years as a joking compliment. I now think interesting to see a variation of that interpretation.

[Guest083119]

Hey, UC...you reminded me that I often get called HBIC here in PMs and in my real life and work and school and I never once found it to be derogatory. I actually think it's a compliment...

THAT SAID...people are entitled to get offended at whatever they like. But that still doesn't mean anything more than that.

On a related note. I'm offended when people call me "Ma'am" I absolutely abhor it.

https://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p...0&postcount=22

[Unique_Carpenter]

Hey B Three,
That was exactly my point.
I've been amused over a few decades to see differing interpretations of all sorts of hobby phrases in the civie world (professional civie business and civie hobbies). And, of course, phrases from real world being used in hobby.
Another recent example is that I know civie women in KC, and other states, that run horse barns professionally, and train younger generation in horsemanship, as do I.
Can everyone see it coming?
Yup, stables and posses.

Anyway, this board is supposed to be a fun place where folks can meet, check out each others persona's, and perhaps arrange for a professional date.

Can we get back to that?

[seductrix4u]

In my world, being called a bitch is not acceptable. Why would a man speak to a woman like that? And being called ma'am is a sign of respect.

I've somehow stepped into an alternate universe on ECCIE. I'll remember that moving forward.

Thanks to everybody who offered their input. My question re: private tag violations was answered.

[Guest083119]

Additionally, since this started as a Questions to Staff thread, I will try to give more GENERAL guidance here. Members have asked for more transparency, so I am pulling back the curtain a bit as to how I operate. Everyone has their own style, but we do strive for overall consistency.

Those of you who have known me for years, know that I tend to like to be a strict constructionist of both the Eccie guidelines (as well a the US Constitution, LOL). I have read them, I understand them, and I'm lucky enough to be privy to the original intent of them. So, I can apply them quite fairly in a way that achieves their original intent.

That said, they are guidelines, not rules. Their intent is to encourage discussion and information exchange, keep member's privacy intact, protect the community, the integrity of the board, and encourage happy hobbying for all.

The goal of infractions is not to BAN people. The goal is to stop or at least curtail bad behavior. Outing is a nuclear offense for obvious reasons. Violating the privacy of the gender specific areas is also an automatic ban and was made that way primarily to protect the ladies. It is rarely a safety concern when a female member gains ROS knowledge. It is many times a safety issue when there is a Powder Room information leak because it puts the alerting lady at risk and makes ladies wary of alerting others about dangers.

Everything else falls on a continuum of infraction levels. Some things are a point, some are quite a bit more. When you reach thresholds, bans kick in for specific time periods. Members are warned repeatedly along the way and when bad behavior continues, infraction points get bigger. Some people know how to walk a line just shy of thresholds.

Regarding medical speculation, making opinion statements like "he's a crazy person" or "she's lost her marbles" are NOT medical diagnoses, therefore NOT medical speculation. Comments like, "he seems bipolar" or "she takes meds for her condition" are NOT allowed and will be removed.

Mentions of forbidden topics are removed. Violations of other guidelines are not for the reasons quoted above.

I will again repeat. No one is privy to anyone's disciplinary actions but their own. It is inappropriate to accuse staff of uneven application unless you see a member violate a nuclear rule and not get banned.

[Guest083119]

Ma'am is a regional and cultural thing. I don't know ANY woman my age I grew up with who likes it - well, maybe a friend who is a Colonel in the Air Force, but that is military. It's not an alternate universe and please show me an instance of anyone calling you a "Bitch" and I will look into it.

Not an acronym, a "Bitch"

Ma'am to me is offensive and I am not alone. WALDT...you don't find it offensive, I do. That does not mean you meant to insult me...

But many women see it as an unnecessary salutation meant to remind a lady that she is older and no longer a "Miss" - it's usually an unconscious bias (which happens to be a major part of my academic field of study). It might be a sign of respect. Or it might be a reminder to older unmarried women that they are...older and unmarried and that is against the norm. Ma'am implies a married woman. I am not. Ma'am implies an older lady...I may be older, but is it nice to be reminded of it for no reason???

Please don't Call Me Ma'am - NPR

On top of everything...Ma'am is a contraction for...wait for it...

MADAM!!!

And I will call absolute BS on anyone over the age of 21 who doesn't know that many women think Ma'am is offensive.

I've made it known...I don't like Ma'am or Madam.

[Guest083119]

Being called a "Bitch" in a way to demean is insulting and will be dealt with. Being referred to in jest or with respect as "HBIC" is a different thing.

If someone says "You're a fucking Bitch!" then they will get an infraction.

If someone calls me a hot little B and means it as a compliment, then I might not like it but there was no intent to insult me.

But again, people can get offended at whatever they want.

[BigDeal]

B three thank you and btw
Bring your hot self to Kansas City anytime!

Can we all get back to having sex now?

[Guest083119]

I do need to make a trip to KCMO, well actually I usually stay in OP.

OMG I’m laughing because a lady just PMd me to clarify that when she refers to me as the Queen B. She does not mean to offend.