To lie … or not to lie … that is the question …

[surcher]

You could date me.....just sayin'!

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by dearhunter

............unless it is in the middle of one of her awesome BBBJs.........I'm just saying.

Wait... what... Brooke Wild does BBBJs ...? Dang, I'm charging up the batteries on my scooter ...

[SneakyCancer]

what a decision to make.... integrity vs morally, truth vs. a little white lie, now vs. later....

i have been one to tell all up front...that way there are no secrets. i have doomed a few relationships and had to fight off the bs that goes with telling all. Sure they respect you more but nobody wants to believe something of that magnitude. I feel that one should not ask a question unless they are ready for the answer. i.e. do you really want to know how many people i have slept with?

if it is serious, i think you should let him know about your past. if your just dating....then avoid it unless it keeps coming up. lets face it...we all play the game of revealing and sharing till we get what we want. then the fun is over.

Do you plan on holding out or banging his brains out?

[Erotic Elle]

I actively date and one guy figured it out right off so I agreed to quit. I am already dating another and plan on him NEVER finding out. Things are getting serious so I may retire here shortly.

My ex of 5 years found out and when he did it wasn't pretty!! Threatened to out me and everything. Now that were broken up he wants me back and understands why I am a provider.

Bottom line I would LIE LIE LIE, if it becomes serious just retire. If you aren't willing to do that then you have to be honest with them upfront. It depends on what kind of life you want, wheather you are trying to trade in this one for something more "normal" or you want to continue to live an alternative lifestyle.

Its laughable that some of the very same gentlemen who are prob lying to their wifes about this hobby are spouting about honesty in relationships. There are just some things that people don't need to know.

[Guest101811-3]

wow, right on Lily. I was waiting for someone to say it. lol.

[Brooke Wilde]

There is A LOT of great advice in this thread. And I appreciate everyone taking the time to offer your suggestions & share your thoughts & experiences.

I think what I will do for now is just say I provide erotic massages’ and if he presses for more details I will just say I am not yet comfortable discussing my job any further at this point.

If he is still in my life 3 months later I will then disclose the truth.

I do know one thing for sure, and that is that I have no plans on retiring any time soon.

[ThatManFromTexas]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

There is A LOT of great advice in this thread. And I appreciate everyone taking the time to offer your suggestions & share your thoughts & experiences.

I think what I will do for now is just say I provide erotic massages’ and if he presses for more details I will just say I am not yet comfortable discussing my job any further at this point.

If he is still in my life 3 months later I will then disclose the truth.

I do know one thing for sure, and that is that I have no plans on retiring any time soon.

If he really presses for an answer just say, "...I could tell you...but then I would have to charge you..."

[live4fun]

while I do not go with the lie, lie lie,,,, I go with let sleeping dogs lie.....
I would not bring it up. If he does, then you all have cover stories to some extent.

if he wants to dig your past, there will be nothing to stop him.

but maybe this is a generational/trust thing, I have noticed my youngins see to radomly google anyone they come across, so if your trail is narrow and you use a hobby handle/phone/email.

anyway good luck to you what ever way you go.

[caroline!]

Brooke... don't ever tell your secret.

[Terminator69]

Well after watching this video I remember why we LIE, take a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IW6svqRm3tU

[happycamper]

Originally Posted by carkido45

A relationship built on lies is doomed to failure.

What he said.

If I was dating someone and she neglected to tell me that she fucked guys for a living. I'd be pissed.

[Guest072815]

I have always been honest about it... I dont Flaunt it... But if it comes up then dont lie. I hhave experianced that if you are upfront about it.... goes over better than if you drop the bomb later... that one has ruiend a relationship or 2! Plus you'll have to tell other lies to cover it too.

[simplegent]

Originally Posted by Brooke Wild

　
Okay .. So I’m thinking about starting to date again. Not just for the fun of dating but to hopefully meet some one I can be serious with. I have not dated in 3 years (the time I’ve been providing) so I am unsure as how to approach the whole “I’m a hooker” subject.

- Do you think I should just tell the truth right away?

- Lie and get him to like me, then drop the bomb on him?

- Or should I just lie to him till I retire?
　
If you met a lady you liked and she was a provider … could you accept that?

Also what if you were dating a woman for a year or so, loved her, and she then told you she has been lying and is a provider. Could you ever forgive her?

Look at it this way. The home or apartment you live in isn't built of wet straw, but strong bricks or sturdy wooden beams. It may have a efw imperfections, but its sound for the most part. You should not tell your partner/lover/boyfriend a lie. Gives you no solid foundation and you will forever have the issue in the back of the guys mind, "I wonder if she's telling the truth THIS TIME."

When you get to a point that you want to open your heart to someone that you believe LOVES YOU FOR YOU, THE PERSON ON THE INSIDE, and not only for what you do for a living - you can then address the subject slowly. And thats not going to be an easy conversation by any means.

As one who has been a part of the hobby since the days of Sweet Sonja and Amanda Witherspoon (over 8 years ago - LOL) I would have a different prospective. A civilian would have to be handled with kid gloves until he gets to that part of your heart you feel will make you happy to keep him around. If I met a lady that was a provider, and we hit it off, being a veteran I could accept it. But its a whole new ballgame for a civilian.

In my mind, it would certainly have to be a guy that you no doubt consider a dear friend as well as a companion. Friends tend to have more of a understanding nature from the start - and are not so quick to be judgemental. The timing is essential.

I think that your idea of using "sensual massage expert" job description should used initially. When you feel that the person you choose to be your companion is strong enough and adores you, show him more of your hand.

No matter who the luck guy is - he certainly will have a special woman in you. :-)

[live4fun]

well being part of the hobby since 78 on main street....
if he is of the hobbiest type then maybe he can handle it... if a "civilian" then use your cover. not everyone needs to know your past, nor do you need to know theirs.
at some point trust enters... if you do not feel you can trust, then do not...

from what I can read, some say yes, some say know, basically all individual choices betwen you the other. to seek the knowlege of others, expericence of others is probably good, we can learn from others, but in the end all path are different.

do not always expect the most jaded to provide the best historical advice.

[Eileenlovera]

Thats a tough one. If I couldent be 100 percent honest with him I would have to let him go. The thing about lying is you have to remember the lies(I dont want too), I would just date him. Rember this is how you make your living. When we tell people what we do there is always the shock facter, It is always good to try to find you someone who will accept you just the way you are not what you do, these guys or this guy can be a keeper if you can find him. All you can do is try. There is nothing wrong with having a boyfriend who knows what you do it makes life so much happier and makes you love him and hate so much more....lol.........I look forward to hearing the responses of others......good thread.......