Originally Posted by Say What
To the MODS - This 'Review' is just for entertainment purposes. Please do no attach it to my list of reviews. I am not looking for PA credit either.
I have been coming to terms with the fact that I'm getting older recently. Things are starting to go wrong with my body that are totally new to me.
My way of dealing with it - of dealing with everything - is to POKE fun at it. After all, if you can't laugh at yourself, someone will do it for you.
Date: Early May
Provider: Family Doctor
City: Dallas
State: Texas
Address: Downtown-ish
Appointment Type: Incall
Did the Appointment take place at the agreed-upon time?: No, it never does. What the fuck is the point of setting an appointment if we NEVER start on time? Whatever!
Activities: Chit-Chat, NE & SE exploration...mostly SE, FIA...my ass, I had to do all of the cleanup myself
Session Length: 24minutes
Fee: Not Sure, my co-pay is $10
Hair Length and Color: Short black hair
Age: 50's probably
Smoking Status: I Couldn't Tell
Ethnic Background: African American
Physical Description: 6'0" tall, 190#'s, brown eyes, black hair, long fat fingers, dressed conservatively in a white coat he never removed
The Rest of the Story:.
.
Background
I have met with FD for almost a decade now. We've become pretty familiar with one another over the years. He knows my body better than I do...or so he says.
Setup
We have a regularly scheduled recurring visit with one another, but this is the first time I've written a review of him. I hadn't been feeling 'myself' and needed to have something checked out.
Introductions
Unlike most appointments I've had in the last year, this one started with him asking me to step on a scale. What the fuck? I know Hayden Hightower has a weight limit for guys she will see, but I wasn't prepared to be weighed. I mean, shit, I wore steel toe boots and had a big lunch. Fuck this scale! It's a goddam liar anyway...yup, that number is bullshit!
I'm not sure if it was his "assistant"...prolly more like a "manager" that greeted me and asked me to hit the scale, but I didn't like it. I'm not even sure now that I was communicating with FD directly when I setup the appointment. Come to think of it, I did have to repeat myself a lot when he finally asked me what I wanted!
BCD
FD finally came into the very "clinical" looking room and immediately started asking me personal questions. I was like, "Whoa, FD. Why are you asking me about my diet and stress levels?" He was just like, "It's relevant to this appointment." Whatever...I just go with it. It's that goddam lying scale, isn't it? I know it is. Fuck!
After a long discussion about really personal stuff FD is all, "I'm gonna need for you to pull your pants down." I'm like, "Finally."
I have my britches around my ankles and FD starts the weakest HJ I've ever had...it was so "clinical" that I just wasn't getting hard. He switched to my balls and asked me to cough. Strange request, but fuck it...I'm down.
FD says, "Everything seems to be fine here." I'm like, "The hell it is. We are 19 minutes into this appointment and I'm not even hard yet."
He instructs me to bend over this odd massage table. It has a large toilet-paper-like thingy pulled over it. It was really uncomfortable. "Relax just a bit" he says! When I did...I got a finger in my ass! Covered of course.
JessicaUTR got me with this one time, but she had the courtesy to do it during a stellar BBBJ. Not FD! And, fuck, could your fingers be any longer? It felt like he was tickling my esophagus through my asshole. Damn, man! Go easy back there!
After about 13 seconds of a shitty prostate massage he pulls out, removes the glove and says, "All done. That wasn't so bad, now was it?" I mumbled, "It wasn't so fucking good either" as I pulled up my britches and wiped a tear from my eye!
"You've got an enlarged prostate," he says. "Well, no shit. You've been poking it with you're goddam banana hands! I feel abused!"
He wrote me a note I couldn't really read and told me to drop it off at the drug store. And just like that...he left. I didn't even get a fucking wet wipe for my greasy ass! Fuck him! I'm not coming back here. You think I would learn after ten years of the same shit.
Takeaway
For $10 there isn't much more that I can expect. I mean, I did get some sorta HJ, ball play, and FIA. I just don't like having to clean myself up and the "clinical" atmosphere. That may be a turn off to many of you.
Recommendation: Fuck NO!
It sucks...getting older. I know it's bound to happen and I should enjoy every second while it lasts.
Cheers to all of you, especially the ladies, for making it a hell of a ride.
|
Miss ya!!!! ROTFLMAO!!!
