Now hiring for Sugar Daddy:)

[John Bull]

Olivia I can't speak for other SD's, but I never actually paid a bill. To much trouble and a security risk for me. I give the necessary funds and she takes care of whatever she wants with it. I have known guys who would lease an apt and pay the rent for the lady. Even then, most of the time the lease was in her name and he just gave her the necessary.

[Fancyinheels]

Okay, exactly HOW are we defining "Sugar Daddy?" Per several online dictionaries, it's "a slang term for a man who offers to support a lady after establishing a relationship."

Going by that, seems to me that those of your who had Sugar Babies who were expected to keep working weren't true Sugar Daddies. Is there a "middle of the road" term we could use for a fellow who provides financial assistance to a lady but isn't completely responsible for her needs? "Sugar Step-Daddy?"

There's obviously different levels. I'm open to all reasonable discussions of sugared arrangements: refined, raw, powdered, brown, Sweet 'N Low, Splenda, or Truvia.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

.....A lady needs to have a purse, and by that I mean be able to pay her bills, on her own. If something happens to him, the lady is in a miserable place financially on top of emotionally.

[PleasantSurprise]

I think being kept would be a beautiful thing. One man. I would love that.

Originally Posted by John Bull

from the assumption that a SD completely supports his SB. That is rare!! I've never even attempted that though in some cases I could have. All my SB's worked.

I have a question…

I respect everyone in this thread. I appreciate the input from the many different angles. I think it is neat how everyone has chimed in.

My question is, why would a SD not completely support his SB? If a lady could be fully supported on say $4000 a month, would a SD intentionally only provide $3000 a month?

Or do most SD's have a max amount they are willing to spend/give, and often the amount expected is so steep?

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

As has been pointed out, even the perfect SB/SD arrangement ends. Either the fellow gets bored and moves on, moves away, or moves to the afterlife. If the lady has completely stopped advertising, has withdrawn from all boards, taken down her website, basically demolished her existence as a companion, what is she supposed to do as she re-establishes her reputation?

An alternative to being removed entirely might be to keep the personal site up, but to just remove all photos and then indicate currently in an exclusive arrangement, and if anything changes, it will be reflected accordingly. That way when the SD/SB relationship ends, it wouldn't be so much like starting over, but more-so picking up where things were left off. I don't know if other areas are like the midwest, but I have found there are four main places for advertising. A couple are free and a couple require a monthly fee. Don't renew the ad sites that require pay and hide the ones that are able to be hidden. After the SD/SB relationship ends, as long as the reviews can still be found/linked to, jumping back in as a provider I would imagine to be fairly easy.

[bigv123]

See?? That is the disconnect. You ladies hear the term "Sugar Daddy" and you immediately believe he's going to completely support you and all your bills. This happens in maybe 1% - 2% of cases and is VERY rare. I have never agreed to an arrangement like this and I never will. One of the big aspects of a SD/SB arrangement is that either of us can leave at any time, for any reason, and no explanation in required. If you are 100% financially dependent on my just to live, that creates a dependency that I don't want. Plus, it makes replacing me much much harder. This isn't "Pretty Woman".

I look for the girls that are working their asses off and not quite making ends meet. THOSE girl are going to be appreciative of each and every thing I do for them. The girls who EXPECT a man to pay their every bill and then shower them with luxuries and gifts is such a massive turn off that I can taste bile in my throat.

Certainly different cities has different living costs. But, here in Austin the unofficial "dotted line" seems to be right at 1K/month. I've gone a bit higher than that and a bit lower. But, any woman who hit me with a 3k or 4k expectation would get shut down immediately. I'd pay the check and leave on the spot....because you're just wasting both of our time.

Seriously ladies, if you're wanting or expecting 3K - 4K each month, you're going to get disappointed time and time again. This is just the reality.

[PleasantSurprise]

I disagree with every male on this board who believes a provider cannot be a SB.

I've been in SD/SB relationships, faithfully.... exclusively. For long durations of time and paying above and beyond the 3-4k. Returning to provider status during the brief interim from one great relationship to the next. Furthering my education and maintaining a part time job regardless of my status change from SB to/from provider.

Perhaps most providers don't have what it takes. But some do. Even if it's a small number, it's significant enough to throw out statements grouping all providers as nonSB material.

I guess I must believe there are SD's willing to provide 100% support because both of the ones I have had, did.

Maybe it is a disconnect, but for me, we fed off of each other, we challenged each other, we made each other want to be and do better, we were very happy and traveled together, experiences were intense, we told the truth to each other, we could always bounce ideas off of each other and not feel judged, every ounce was incredible. I was always aware my SD's could leave at any time. The relationships probably wouldn't have ended if I were willing to uproot and relocate. To this day I still think very highly of my past SD's, and if it takes the usual 6 to 8 months for me to find another SD with whom I am compatible, then it's worth the wait.

Would you agree SB's determine the minimum they're willing to accept in the same way a SD determines the max he's willing to spend?

I think the main disconnect is denying that a relationship can be successful and beneficial to both parties even when 100% support is provided from SD to SB.

[woodyboyd]

About three years ago, I started a thread here saying the glory days of the HDH are over and were going to be replaced by the sugar baby model.

I think the funniest comment on the thread was from Sydney B, "
To Woody Boyd- if you're not a troll, why come to an escort board if you are so very successful in getting your needs met elsewhere?

Oh. And the HDH model isn't dead at all. Talking down to those that "get it" is sickening to me. You can try to intimidate by being a patronizing prick all you want, but the fact is that many women are doing so very well with or without "men like you".

And now we have providers on this forum begging for SDs. Jesus. That thread was the third most popular ever read on this forum. And the other two? Those were threads about what are the traits that makes a HDH provider/worth it, AKA "why the dinosaur will never be extinct." Sigh.

The shaking my head part this time comes from women who remind me of Sydney's "intellect". "I want $8000 a month. I want $3000 or $4000." And for what? Sex? Forget it.

And I had to listen to this crap before. Going to Cirque du Soleil, going out for a five course dinner, and sleeping with a guy, that was "work", worthy of thousands of dollars per night. What a crock! The guys who paid that were suckers, and most have wised up.

I have had three women who worked for me as independent contractors who worked 40 hours a week, who were 9s and 10s both in terms of appearance and sexual skill, and I paid them $2000 to 3000 per month. Got that? I paid for a worker and got sex FOR FREE. That is what you are competing against now.

Mixing sex and business didn't work out with the scheduled workers though. Too many thought that fucking me was pay enough and sleazed off at work, but when I mixed sex with a specific one time job like cleaning my house, it has worked out great. So if a sugar baby texts me wanting $200, she can come clean my house or cook me a great meal... and fuck me. A real sugar baby is one who will take my money for cleaning or some other task and NOT take money for sex. Think that is rare? It isn't. Too often I have too many women and too little work.

But the thing that I suspect the pay for play escorts don't get is these women are my friends, and as long as the relationship is mutualistic and not parasitic, I want it to last. So if you need a tire changed, a dress for work, a hug after a bad day, or anything else I can do to make your life better, I will be there because I am your friend, and I care about you. No escort on this forum here gets that. If you value my money more than my friendship, then you are a hooker, and I am not interested in having you as a sugar baby.

Just like Sydney's dumb comments about how women didn't need sugar daddies, I suspect there will be flames/ dumb complaints about women having to do more for money than just sex. Just like I said that the HDH model was going to burn in flames because of the Sugar baby model, the money for sex per hour concept is going to be burned down as well by the sex + work model.

What did I say about the HDH? The market has changed. No one but a fool is going to pay $1000 per night for a girl. Now we have a guy say the going rate is a $1000 per MONTH for companionship and sex. If you want more than that, you are going to have to earn it, and you are not going to earn it on your back.

[Fancyinheels]

I am a wee bit amazed at how presumptive, disrespectful, and dismissive some of the gentlemen are being when ladies herein are just sharing their realities, stating opinions, and trying to clarify the parameters. I don't see any provider "begging" for an SD, but some are stating their desire for one in matter-of-fact tones.

We need a better term for those fellows who just "look for the girls that are working their asses off and not quite making ends meet. THOSE girl(s) are going to be appreciative of each and every thing I do for them." And the rest of the ladies won't be, I take it?

"I know that The girls who EXPECT a man to pay their every bill and then shower them with luxuries and gifts is such a massive turn off that I can taste bile in my throat." Huh. I work my ass off (hmmm, wish I could literally, as I have ass to spare) and I DO make ends meet, and I don't EXPECT anything from anyone other than myself. If someone wants to spoil me, fine. He will be spoiled back. (But it doesn't mean that I will BE on my back all the danged time. My past patrons appreciated continued patience, wit, and companionship far more than 15 minutes of heavy exertion.) I know it's pure fantasy to think my "knight" will swoop in and sweep me, and all my bills, away. I'm much too independent to ever let anyone tell me what to do because they think I should be sycophantically grateful for my room and board. That actually sounds more like indentured servitude.

However, do not insult me for simply stating a definition of "Sugar Daddy" that has long been the accepted norm for the term, one that is deceptive as it DOES imply exclusivity. It really is an archaic word, terribly out of sync with current societal and financial limitations.

[oktome]

bigv123 is correct. It is very rare. Do the math 4000 a month of disposable income is hardly common. By definition those that have it, the 1-3 percenters of inccome earners, make bigv123 assertion statistically probable . Now take into account at least 75% or so of those are married, and most would have a hard time hiding where that kind of money went. Now throw in that 2 people have to be compatible and stabile enough to make that type of arrangement work and that leaves the 4000-5000 a month SB/SD nearly impossible, not totally impossible.

Ms Surprise you have had 2 such arrangements, that is defying the odds to be sure. Granted it has been shown statistically that the median income of men who have visited prostitutes is higher, but not Bill Gates type money. That is why most of the SB/SD relationships guys here have participated in, came about when they met a lady working at a bar or hair salon etc... and were bold enough to ask these ladies about the potential of this type of arrangement.

Why providers in my mind GENERALLY don't make good SB is that mindset of this type of relationship is generally thought of on a transactional by most providers. So they do the math and think, well if I saw 15 guys a month at 400 a visit thus I need 4000 net after taking into account advertising, rooms, travel etc... the entire proposition from most providers stand point often is I make XYZ so I need the SD to pay me XYZ otherwise why should I do it.

Outside girls do not look at this type of relationship as a means to replace their transactional income. They look at it as an addition, something that makes their life easier and less stressful. Maybe even finding someone that they enjoy being around from time to time.

I have posted adds as an experiment offering up to 1500 a month and had more responses then I could deal with. Some were actually providers, but most were just ladies who were divorced, going through a hard time, etc.... I didn't follow through with it because it started to become more work that it seemed to be worth.

Anyway that is my take. I personally would have no problem with the right forthright person supplementing their provider income, with some agreement you had mentioned. The SD being the primary focus but earning extra from time to time, but that is me.

[Fancyinheels]

Originally Posted by oktome

....Why providers in my mind GENERALLY don't make good SB is that mindset of this type of relationship is generally thought of on a transactional by most providers. So they do the math and think, well if I saw 15 guys a month at 400 a visit thus I need 4000 net after taking into account advertising, rooms, travel etc... the entire proposition from most providers stand point often is I make XYZ so I need the SD to pay me XYZ otherwise why should I do it.

Outside girls do not look at this type of relationship as a means to replace their transactional income. They look at it as an addition, something that makes their life easier and less stressful. Maybe even finding someone that they enjoy being around from time to time.....

The above does make perfect sense, stated in a non-confrontational way. Thank you. (Sounds like algebra for providers: Less XYZ and more EZ = SB + SD.)

Just out of curiosity, what does $1,500 obtain for you, oktome? What does 1K in Austin get you, bigv123? Priority seating or unlimited buffet?

All I am arguing is that unless complete sexual and emotional loyalty on the lady's part is involved, which would require considerable outlay of funds by the gent, the "traditional" expectations of Sugar Daddy/Sugar Baby are not being met.

Might as well, GASP, get married.

[bigv123]

First, let me say that I'm one of the guys that's said from the beginning that a SD/SB relationship with a provider IS possible. I've also said from the start that there are a LOT of different ways a SD/SB relationship can be configured. Some guys here will try and tell you that their way is the only "true" SD-type relationship and that anything else is a "hooker on retainer". I think that's a bit narrow-minded. I know that there are quite a lot of different possibilities between those two areas. But, each guy is going to be comfortable in a different "range" of options and rules. In the end, if you're both happy with the situation, who cares what you call it?!?! Enjoy your time together! That's ALL that matters!!

To Fancyinheels,
I've never set up an arrangement with a woman I knew was a provider. In each of my arrangements over the past 6-7 years or so, it can vary anywhere from 1-2 meets/dates per week...sometimes more. I've had other arrangements where we saw each other as much as we both liked. That was normally 3 or 4 times a week. None of these were exclusively sexual. These were all real dates, and sometimes sex wasn't involved at all. That really just depended on my particular mood.

My point was simply that if your expectation as a SB is that your SD is going to cover all your living expenses, and on top of that give you some for of allowance and take you shopping, you're going to have an exceptionally hard time finding that gent. First you have to find a gent with that kind of disposable income. Then, you have to find one with that disposable income AND absolutely no idea of the market. THEN, you have to find one with that kind of disposable income, no idea of the market, and no clue wtf he's doing. The simple fact is that it's a buyer's market. I hate to make that sound so mercantile, but it's true. For every 1 truly legit guy on one of those websites there's probably 20 legit (read: not UTR pros) women. And, due naturally to supply and demand, even the pure 10's and 11's on these boards aren't commanding the 5k/month they could 5 years ago.

Yes, there are some "whales" out there to be had that will still shell out that kind of coin, but, they don't have to. And THAT is the point. The gents who have been around and seen the "community" evolve know what's fair and average for the market. Thing is, I see a bunch of new girls every month who show up after just reading some online article and they see dollar signs in their eyes and think because they did a little modeling in college that some millionaire 35 year old is going to throw 10k/mo at them for sex twice a month. Sorry ladies but you're living in a dream. If that's your expectation, 999 out of every 1,000 of you are going to be horribly disappointed.

This isn't the way I think it should be. This is the way my experience tells me it IS. YMMV...

...

[Gotyour6]

A provider can be a suagr baby. Most SDs don't want a provider as one though.

You can stop providing and be exclusive and taken care of if you want. That is fine. Call yourself a sugar baby and be done with it. Then return to providing until the next guy comes along.


Question asked: Being a sugar daddy means that all her needs are taking care of?

Answer: She may be confused on what her needs are. Providers think about the money aspect 99% of the time.

Needs of a sugar baby: A sugar baby I am looking for is young, wants to thrive and learn and needs help in doing so. The girls I seek (This takes a long time to find and screening for one is time consuming) Notice I say I look for. I don't have one come up to me. It's like asking for a hand out. I don't go to sites like SA or sugarbabyforme etc.. Those are not the girls i am looking for.

My sugar baby:
Mine has a full time job and she works. That is not a redundant statement.

When I met her at 18 years old she had nothing. She lived with Mom and stepdad, she had no drivers licence, no car and no savings. She had no plans and no dreams. She was working a job where she could excel but was there a year and went no place.

How we met:

I would go to the store and buy things. Condoms, little things and maybe pick up bread. I would see her. She was beautiful yet no one could see it. She spoke very soft and was shy. I would see her a couple times a week.

What happened next:

After talking with her and making excuses of I couldn't find something in the store to talk to her more and get to know her better we crossed a magazine section and she pointed to one with a picture of Bon Jovi on the cover. "You look just like him" she said. I said I was an old man now and chuckled and she said you are pretty damn hot for an old man and her face went red. I handed her my business card and asked her to text me when she got out of work.

The text:
thirty minutes after I left she said she was out of work. I asked her if she could meet me for dinner. She said yes but it would have to be close to her home as she didn't have a car. I picked her up.

She now has a car, an apartment, a cute border collie, a drivers licence, she made head of her department and got a raise, she is up for another promotion just this week. I don't give her an allowance and I spent about $40.00 last week on our weekend. We have been together for a little over a year now.

Providers want $4000 a month, money is all you look at. It is what drives you or you wouldn't be looking for the Hollywood sugar daddy. You wouldn't be a provider. You look at the right now and not the future. This is your failure. This is where you fuck up and this is what you will look back on and hate yourself for.

What a sugar baby needs and wants are two different things.

I could walk away from her right now and she would be fine. In the last year I taught her more than some SD that gave her $4000 a month.

What I told her when we met...

You are a bird that fell out of a tree. You keep looking at the nest wondering how to get back in. My sweetheart, you don't need the nest, you need to learn how to fly. That, I can help you with.

Four months into our relationship she took off and she loves flying.

I am a sugar daddy.
I am proud to call myself that.

The relationship prior was a girl I was with for three years. She went from Ghetto home to going to Berkeley. She didn't get $4000 a month either.


You want to be a sugar baby?
Lost the fucking hooker attitude and want to fly.

[oktome]

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

Just out of curiosity, what does $1,500 obtain for you, oktome?

I really don't know because I never found anyone I felt comfortable enough to pursue it. Several agreed to things, but the more I looked at it the more I thought how much easier it was to just do things on a transactional basis.

I just never found someone that I clicked with and thought I could trust enough to pursue it. The one thing providers have an advantage over regular civilians is they are used to discretion.

I'll try not to offer anymore algebraic solutions on here. lol

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by woodyboyd

The shaking my head part this time comes from women who remind me of Sydney's "intellect". "I want $8000 a month. I want $3000 or $4000." And for what? Sex? Forget it.

Does it really make sense to dispute the amount given from male to female?

The client/provider relationship….

Does the client not set a maximum amount he is willing to spend? Great posters on this board have a max they are willing to spend on a provider, may it be $200 to $250 an hour, or any value. Reversely, some guys will not see the $200 girl because they don't find a revolving door to be attractive. Neither side is any more…. justified than the other.

Is a SD not the same?

Does the SD not determine what he personally is willing to spend? And does he not search to find someone whom he is compatible with physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, etc? A SD offering 1K/month would need to find a SB willing to accept 1K/month. A SB seeking 4K/month would need to find a SD willing to provide 4K/month. It's all about finding a good match.

[PleasantSurprise]

Originally Posted by oktome

Why providers in my mind GENERALLY don't make good SB is that mindset of this type of relationship is generally thought of on a transactional by most providers.

I can understand that. Being on both sides of the fence, there is definitely a difference from a varying amount per date and not knowing where next month's income will come from, to an ongoing fixed amount per month covering anything to occur.

Originally Posted by Gotyour6

A sugar baby I am looking for is young, wants to thrive and learn and needs help in doing so. The girls I seek (This takes a long time to find and screening for one is time consuming) Notice I say I look for. I don't have one come up to me. It's like asking for a hand out. I don't go to sites like SA or sugarbabyforme etc.. Those are not the girls i am looking for.

I agree with you in that the SD picks his SB. A SB, in my opinion, shouldn't ask someone to be her SD. I also think a lady has to be in a place where she can be found. If a person wanted to be a SB, it wouldn't make much sense for her to stay in her house all of her life and never get out. Yes, she could hope she is approached at her work or school. Yes, she could hope she is approached at the grocery store or coffee shop. But what about the men who are less direct, those who don't have guts to walk up and talk to a stranger? Those individuals may find a site like SA to be appealing. If it's all about the timing and being found, I think a SB would need to be visible in places the opportunity can present itself to her.

Originally Posted by Fancyinheels

I am a wee bit amazed at how presumptive, disrespectful, and dismissive some of the gentlemen are being when ladies herein are just sharing their realities, stating opinions, and trying to clarify the parameters.

+1

Originally Posted by woodyboyd

So if you need a tire changed, a dress for work, a hug after a bad day, or anything else I can do to make your life better, I will be there because I am your friend, and I care about you. No escort on this forum here gets that.

That's a bold statement Woody. I question the accuracy behind it.